


Jane & Esther

by Donsular



Category: Mary Poppins (Movies)
Genre: Arguments, Babies, Dates going badly, Everything Hurts, F/M, Fire, Flowers, Frustration, Humiliation, Leeries - Freeform, Stress, Supernatural - Freeform, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2020-11-24 10:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 62,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20906363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donsular/pseuds/Donsular
Summary: When one wakes up, one expects to wake up in bed. But some may not. For whatever reason, they find themselves elsewhere, left to piece together the fragments of what happened the night before. So if you woke up and found that while you’d slept, you’d also ruined your life, how would you react? She hadn’t wanted any of this. But the other ‘she’ had. Now the world was spinning with all kinds of chaos. She hadn’t meant to let it go this far. She didn’t want anyone to get hurt...As a little heads up, this is not a story about DID. Far from it, in fact. I don’t intend to try to stereotype the condition, as this is a supernatural story like how A Million Lights was and has nothing to do with any mental health conditions. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this, thanks for reading.





	1. A Rather Unusual Prologue

When one wakes up, one expects to find themselves tucked in their own bed. On the rare occasion that this is not the case, there is usually a fine reason behind it, you could be visiting a friend or be an unlucky sort to wake up in hospital. But almost always, there is simple logic behind it. You are where you are meant to be. But there is an occasional exception to this rule, where you wake up and are surprised. However in such situations you are most likely being surprised by the fact you are not in a bed at all, but lying on the concrete outside the local pub after a few too many. Waking up in bed should never warrant fear for more than a few moments before you are sure that everything is as it should be. Unless you were Esther Jones.

Esther Jones was not one to be easily spooked, but when she woke up in a bed she didn’t know, she’d by lying if she said she wasn’t concerned. She wasn’t visiting friends or family, she didn’t have any. And this was clearly not a hospital, the lavish decorations were a sure sign of it. So where was she? Who was she? Did she forget? Or did she ever even learn to begin with? 

Rising from the bed, she took in her surroundings. A very nice bed, a very nice room. Pillows and cushions plumply sat around her. She was wearing her nighty... or at least a nighty, so she must’ve put herself to bed on her own. Photos stood in proud frames across the room on a fireplace’s mantle. Each frame containing a different person: men, women, children. But one photo stood out in particular, though she couldn’t say why: a smiling woman wearing a vest and trousers. Was this her home? Was this her bed? Was this her? Esther’s question was answered by the hanging mirror draped down the wall from a single nail.

Gazing upon the reflection was the woman. But it wasn’t her? Or was it? She couldn’t say either way. It felt so different and yet at the same time, so familiar. Strawberry blonde curls fell in a short bob framing her pale face and hazel eyes. It was a strange feeling, but at the sight, something began to swell. A deep seated hatred. A bubbling and ferocious rage. Something took hold of her, raising her arm. When had she clenched a fist? She would later say she didn’t remember doing it, but she could remember what happened after. Screaming shards fell and embedded themselves in the carpet in a similar fashion to those resting against her knuckles. There hadn’t been much blood. Only a cut’s worth. But something about it- it was... exhilarating. Whatever this was, she wanted more. But not yet. She had to first discover what this was.

Then it came. Thundering like a stampede. How many feet? She couldn’t tell. All she knew was that there was something rumbling somewhere. Somewhere out there. Outside of the room. Was it an animal? Some sort of beast that had escaped its confines and had come to devour her? But it was such a lovely room. Such a calamity couldn’t be possible. Then there was the voice. Cutting, piercing, slicing through her racing heart. Dripping sweat onto her brow. Shaking her limbs. What was this? Who was he? All she knew was the words he shouted as his voice came closer:

“Jane? JANE?!”

Jane?

Jane.

Who was she?

But before an answer could appear miraculously, the world grew dark, as all within it faded to nothing and the ground fell out beneath her.

Who was Jane?

Esther later awoke in the same bed. She rose and explored the room. But she daren’t leave it. Something about the outside was a sickening idea. But there again she stood in someone’s nighty in someone’s house. The voice had gone, taking the thunder with it. Had it been a dream? There. Curtains. Behind them, a window. Windows have answers. Windows always have answers, even if they’re covered by the curtains. Yanking the fabric away, she looked outside. Grey. Square. Boring. The world was so dull. But she had hoped the sight of it could jog her memory of where she was meant to be, but there was nothing. Curtains lay around her mind, concealing the answers from all, even herself. Did the world even live? The sun shone as best as it could whilst suffocated by clouds, yet the world slept. Even the branches of the trees lay bare, not quite ready to be revived by the onset of spring. Was it even spring? She could’ve sworn it was supposed to be spring. But there was nothing happening. She would have to do something about that. However, that was another thought for another time. But then it came again. The black darkness trespassing on the edge of her vision. She would’ve liked to have fought it away, but once more, the ground began to dissolve. And once again, she was falling.

She lost count eventually. Over and over again. She’d awake in bed and rise. Each time she’d explore the room and discover something new. First the mirror was replaced, then the tea set arrived and then it left again. Was someone else there? The next time something edible sat at the side of the bed, she had made sure to eat all of it. She should’ve been hungry by that point. It was probably best to eat something. Though there wasn’t another drink, as she wished. It continued on like that for a little while. Each time, her allotted time to explore was extended. However, it never lasted. She also never left. It wasn’t her place. Was it? She never really established who’s room she was intruding in. It could’ve been hers, or it could’ve been a total stranger’s and she’d be none the wiser. But she did want to know: who was that woman? Who was Jane?

Eventually an answer came. A note. When Esther awoke once more, one thing caught her eye: the large piece of paper atop the mantle. Taking it down, her eyes traced over the delicate script.

‘Is someone there?’

There was a pen left on the mantle too. They wanted a reply. They expected a reply. And a reply is what they got.

‘I am Esther. ’

Her scrawl was nowhere near as daintily done. Clunky letters barely managed to stay balanced on the lines of the scrap. But it was legible at least. Unsure of what to do next, she wished for a response of some kind. She wanted to let go. Whenever it got dark, she’d awake and something would change. So she did just that. It had been difficult to call forth the shadows. But once they danced into view, they never left. She let go.

It was a long instant before she came around again. But this was different. She was still standing. She had not awoken in bed again. She was still holding the note, pen in hand. But this was different. There were more words now.

‘I am Jane. You broke my mirror.’

That answered one question. It must be her room.

‘Why am I here?’

Letting go was much easier this time, and suddenly regaining control hadn’t been such of a shock. The only shock was on the page where, once again, was a reply.

‘I don’t know. You’re only there when I’m not.’

‘As you are for me.’

‘Michael said I’ve been acting oddly and is concerned my condition may be worsening. I suppose this is your doing. Please stop.’

Those words: ‘please stop’. Something about them was new, exciting, fun. She was in need of help, and Esther had the power to accept or deny her request. To cause chaos or to be a calm. To make war or peace. To accept or deny. Nobody could stop her. She had proven she could let go at will. Her consequences would vanish and the world would be right when she awoke. Just as it had every other time. The world was quiet when she walked. Silent in her presence. She brought it to life. They had no right to stop her. The thoughts returned. The anger swelled. As she had once raised a fist, she now raised a pen. This girl, whom she knew yet did not, would get her reply. And whether she liked it or not, she would have to live with it. Why? Because Esther said so. The ink flowed from the pen with ease as her letters dropped onto the lines that dissected the page. Two short letters and she was done. Her answer?

‘No.’


	2. Opening Night

Too long. A month was far too long. Jane has been bedridden with the flu for far too long. When her brother finally let her go, she could’ve leapt from the bed and jumped out the window. But after weighing the risks, she decided to do the more conventional: ‘walking out the door’. She loved him, but seriously, he could be such a mother hen sometimes. Just because she wasn’t married, didn’t mean she had to be babied by her brother in the lacking presence of a husband. His children weren’t much better either. John, Annabel and Georgie Banks. Yet again, she loved them, but they always wanted to help, and sometimes, her pride made it very tiring to constantly need to receive it. But they were all entertaining. They’d tell stories, play games and then Ellen would hurry them out of the room to give her some peace. They all cared so much about her, which is why they all came running so fast when Esther broke the mirror. It had been quite interesting to try and explain that. Of course, at the time, she didn’t know what was going on either, so it was a weird conversation. She remained calm about the whole thing. She had hoped that Esther had only done it by accident. She was new to the world after all. But when she finally left Michael’s home and went to her own flat, she couldn’t help but fiddle with the folded piece of paper in her pocket.

It couldn’t have been real. No. That was ridiculous. She couldn’t be another person. Not one she could communicate with.

‘No.’

No, It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be. Except when Esther said it, ‘no’ had a different meaning. ‘No’ meant she wouldn’t stop. ‘No’ meant there was more to come. ‘No’ meant she had to be careful. Esther had refused to stop. Over the next few days after their conversation, Esther had refused to talk to her and never let Jane come back so quickly for a reply. She wanted control. Which she? Who knows? Jane hurried to her own flat across London, still replaying the situation in her head. All this girl had done was break a mirror and eat her toast. Hardly the stuff of legends. But then again, it was probably just a taste of things to come. She wanted to deny that it ever happened, but with the evidence piling high, it was getting harder and harder to do so by the day.

But there was one thought that terrified her the most. Esther and Jane never met. They both lived in that room, but never crossed paths. They only did something when the other had let go of consciousness and had to do the same themselves if they wanted a response. And especially considering the amount of times she’d ‘wake up’ in the middle of the room, just standing there, one thing was becoming more obvious. This girl was her. Inside her trying to take over. She didn’t know how, and it sounded insane, but she could feel it. She knew it. The switches had become more frequent, and Esther had been emerging for longer. But now she seemed not to be around for at most, a few hours. To put the cherry on top, she also never left the room. She clearly was just trying to find her footing and didn’t intend to cause trouble... yet.

These facts ran though her head on repeat for the whole day. While working at the soup kitchen, her fellow SPRUCE worker, Leslie Owens, had to snap her back to reality on multiple occasions. She had brushed it off when he asked if something was wrong, simply offering the assurance that she was fine, just a little tired after getting over the flu. She was glad to be back at work. Organising rallies was a speciality of hers that she took great pride in. And in between that, she’d be feeding the hungry workers of London at the soup kitchen. Their grateful smiles always brought a little light to her heart.

Speaking of light, that was the next part of her day: spending her evening with a certain lamplighter. Jack was no stranger. But she wouldn’t call him her boyfriend either. They were at a weird point in their relationship. Sure they flirted a bit and hugged, but they never went further than that and never made anything official. They’d never even been on an actual date. They just sort of, hung around with each other like friends more than anything. She wanted to, and she suspected he did too, but neither of them had been quite ready to make that leap yet. Their vastly different social statuses meant it was all so new and scary. A banker’s daughter and a labourer?! It was unheard of! His friends had been very quick to remind them of that when the relationship was new. They’d doubted it would last. But here they were. It was lasting. And even though they hadn’t made anything too official yet, they were both happy to wait. Each slowly trying to work up the courage through time and experience with the other. It would come, soon. She was pretty sure of it.

Her evening had gone quite nicely actually. A stroll in the park had been just what she needed: the cool nightly breeze, the fresh air. Perfection. She always felt so blessed to be with him. The way he looked at her, coffee brown eyes as soft as fur watching her as if she’d hung the stars. His smile whenever she spoke was as contagious as her condition had been, and she couldn’t help but grin alongside him. Each infectious smile transformed into a giggle that floored them both in fits of laughter for no other reason other than they’d never felt so happy in their lives. Each all too casual brush of the hand sent shivers down her spine and each story he told transported her to another dimension. Yes. She was happy. Quite happy indeed.

The walk home had been so peaceful, that she barely noticed arriving at her own home. She’d wanted to go further, she wanted to invite him in for the night. But they were going slow. And let’s face it, if she had suggested such a thing, he’d probably combust. They hadn’t even kissed yet, they were still in the ‘physical contact is awkward if it isn’t intentional’ phase. So they just said their goodbyes and went their separate ways for the night, more than happy to be that way. And there was no need to fear, nights like this were a rather common occurrence for the two. It’s not like she’d never see him again. Every day he cycled the same route to turn down the lamps in the morning and turn them up in the evenings. He was always there, through rain, sleet or snow. She could rely on him being there every time, and it was truly a blessing.

So when she went to bed, she was content, there was not a shred of doubt that her day had been great. That her life was great. Hell! Her whole world was perfect. Which is why it hurt so much when she saw the letter.

Jane had gone to bed as normal, but the moment she lay down, she let go. The world faded and the ground crumbled. She fell.

And fell.

And fell.

And fell.

Until eventually she landed back in her mind, back in her bed. But something was different. The sun had risen again, sending a beam of light through the curtains. It was the first thing she noticed: the letter. An envelope sitting neatly on her bedside table and scrawled on the front was simply,

‘Hello again.’

It had taken a fair amount of courage to even touch it, but when she did, she sat up and opened the letter in quite a rush. Probably more so than she expected to originally. After all, it was just a letter... right?

‘Dear Jane,

Sorry about the mess. But, you can’t blame me. After so long of only waking up in that one room, you can imagine I was a little spooked this time around by the sudden change that you failed to warn me about. I had to have a look around to figure out what was going on. But thanks for keeping a diary. It’s so detailed! Really gave me a chance to read up on everything I’ve missed in your life. It was quite inspiring.

I figured, since I was in such a new place, I’d try take a look around outside too. And hey, I didn’t get lost! I found your brother’s house, but the lights were all off so I didn’t bother. I wanted to have fun on my opening night, not sit with a tired guy, his children and the help. So I thought I’d meet with some of the other people in the book. I couldn’t find your work mates, but do you want to know who I did find? Of course you do! It was Jack!

My my, Jane Banks. Such dirty little fantasies. You really didn’t have to write them ALL down. But honestly, I don’t blame you. He certainly is quite the man. Don’t worry, I made sure I had the right one. Didn’t expect you to get with a leerie! But I made the most of it. Since you never actually put on your big girl pants on to do anything with him, I made the first move. Had a lovely snog with him. Plus, we were at a pub. All his mates were there too. So it was quite easy to get him drunk enough to say ’yes’ to doing more than kissing. I had him in the bathroom. He seemed to enjoy it. And don’t worry, I enjoyed your first time for you. Congratulations! You are no longer a virgin!

I’m not sure how much he’ll actually remember. I can’t remember how drunk he was. I was too drunk for that. It’ll be interesting to see if you get my hangover. Anyway, I’ll be sure to have fun when I’m in control. And let me set down some rules. I’ll forgive you for last time, you didn’t know. But I have no intention of stopping. So don’t try and tell me to. If you do, you may very well have much worse to deal with than a hangover. But I’m sure it won’t come to that. Have a nice day!

Many thanks, sincerely,  
Esther Jones.’

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Wow... um. Ok then. Even as the ‘all knowing narrator’, I wasn’t ready for that. Jeez. She sure can scream loudly, can’t she? Bloody hell!

Never in her life had Jane wanted to vomit so badly. Shaking like a leaf, she dropped the letter.

“SHE HAD SEX WITH HIM?!” Her heart beat rapidly as a million thoughts skidded in her head, scuttling and scampering so fast, she could barely keep up. She became very aware of a pain in her chest as her lungs heaved and pushed against her ribs, desperate to escape their confinement in search of more air. Quaking hands ran through her hair, pulling every so often in a desperate attempt to wake up from whatever nightmare this was.

It’s not that she didn’t like him. No! But had he been forced? She said he was drunk. Had he been too drunk to know what was going on? What if she did things he didn’t want to do? Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! He would hate her, no doubt about it. And what about her? Oh no! Was she pregnant?! She couldn’t be! She wasn’t ready! How would she explain something like that to her family?! To her friends?! They’d think she was just some kind of whore, sleeping with whatever poor sod was drunk enough to do so in public! SHIT! She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. How the hell had this happened?? An idea came to mind. She rapidly checked her body for marks. Neck? Nothing. Back? Nothing. Stomach? Nothing. Hips? Nothing. Legs? Nothing. Ok. Ok. Ok. Good. This was good. Jack had obviously been conscious enough not to be rough with her, so he probably made sure not to get her pregnant... right? Right?! Please be right! Maybe Esther lied?! Maybe they didn’t even do anything!

Slumping back down on her bed, Jane gave a sigh as she realised what was going to come next: she’d have to face him. There was no way she could get around it. She couldn’t be having sex with him one night and then avoid him for the rest of her life. Or could she? No! She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. No. She wouldn’t do that to him. That would be rude. But still, the fact that she didn’t want to avoid him didn’t really mean she wanted to see him either. How the hell was she supposed to talk to him after all this?! She was ready to give up. She had to find a way to stop Esther. If this was what she chose to do on day one, God only knows what would happen in the future. What if she did something to Michael, or the children. She could hurt them. She could get her fired. She could get all her friends to turn against her! She couldn’t allow it. But she was in no position to tell her to stop. The letter was right. If she wanted to do that, she’d have to be sneaky about it. But how the hell was she supposed to do that if she could switch at any moment?!

Desperately, she shoved the thoughts away, locking them in a metaphorical cage. The time for all that was later. Right now she had to go to work. Esther would not make her reclusive. She would not make Jane damage her own life by herself. So she forced herself out of bed, got changed and went to the door. For a moment she hesitated as she took a steadying breath.

In. Out. Ok.

Time to face the world.


	3. Arrangements

When she finally made it outside, the world didn’t implode. With all the burning anxiety flooding her system, Jane was half expecting that to have happened. But it didn’t. Thank God. In fact, when she walked down the street, not a single person looked at her funny. Nobody was shouting, nobody was upset. The world wasn’t ending as she feared. So when she got to work, everyone was getting on with everything just as normal. Everything was... peaceful. 

“You alright? You look a little... off.” Jane turned to her colleague, Leslie Owens.

“Yeah I’m fine.” He looked at her, raising a quizzical eyebrow, but before he could speak, Joanna snook up behind him, almost shouting in excitement.

“I know what’s up!” She beamed cheerfully, but also very confidently. Uh oh.

“I was picking up an order for my cousin’s wedding at the Blue Jockey, and there was a bunch of lamplighters there. And I saw you coming out of the bathroom with one of them looking all flustered and your clothes were a mess!” Leslie’s mouth gaped open as Jane tried to hide her increasingly crimson face.

“Did you have sex with Jack?!” Leslie questioned a bit too loudly.

“Jack? So that’s him. Well, you know how to pick ‘em Jane. I’d ride him any day!”

“JOANNA!” She backed away immediately regretting her words at the sight of Jane and Leslie’s uncomfortable expressions.

“Alright! Alright! I get it! I had no intentions of stealing him.” A sly grin crossed her face, “but if it doesn’t work out, let me know!” And with that, she dashed out of the room before Jane could say another word.

“I- but- y- uuugh.” Giving up, her head fell against her desk. Why couldn’t she just get on with work without people commenting about the things Not-She did?!

The rest of the day felt just like that. Anytime they could, her friends would make suggestive jokes and euphemistic comments about pretty much anything and everything. Not to mention that Joanna kept bugging her to know about what he was like. If she learnt anything that day, it was to never let Joanna meet Jack... EVER. 

Jane knew she couldn’t let this become a regular thing. She sat around for most of the day in the office. She hated days like this: no rallies, no volunteering, just paperwork and organization of future events that she wished she was already at. 5 o’clock couldn’t come soon enough and when Big Ben chimed, she was out of the door before anyone could even say goodbye.

The evening had been peaceful. Stars were beginning to be lit in the sky alongside the lamps in the streets, just as the moon was waking up. The night was alive, and Jane could feel its energy crawling under her skin and rushing through her system like an infection. She was jittery and feeling sick. But she hadn’t expected anything else to go wrong. As her mind tried to focus between getting home and what may be causing her condition, she didn’t even notice the man further along the street until she bumped into him. She’d recognise those brown eyes anywhere.

“Oh! Hi Jack.” He beamed with his signature sunshine expression as soon as he laid his eyes on her.

“Jane! How’re you this fine evenin’?”

“I’m doing quite nicely.” She couldn’t believe she was talking normally with him. Was that night really not so bad after all? Had Esther been right, that it was time to actually do something with him? But then it hit her. Esther. She couldn’t formulate her words as her brain turned into loud, wailing static. Her whole body fizzed as she fought the urge to vomit by focusing on her vibrating heart thrashing against her ribs. The thundering beat in her chest was deafening and the mist in her eyes was blinding. Since when was it so hard to see?! But before she could try to find the reason behind it, it stopped. Only this time, she wasn’t Jane anymore. She was Esther.

She was snapped out of her daze by Jack waving a hand in front of her face.

“Are you alright?” Esther was quite taken aback by this. She’d never switched unless Jane fell asleep. She wanted to take over, but she hadn’t expected it to work. Perfect. But what had she been doing with Jack?

“I’m fine, I guess I just zoned out. Busy day, you know.” She offered him a sultry smile that he was not too sure how to respond to. He just blushed a little and carried on like it hadn’t happened.

“Ok.” He paused for a moment like he was fighting some sort of inner battle, hands fidgeting and his breaths wavered in fear.

“Um- so... I was going to ask this tomorrow, but since you’re here, I might as well take my chance now, huh?” This was certainly intriguing to hear, and Esther was certainly on board to know where it was going.

“Well, I was wondering, you know, since after last night, well, we did all that, but we never got into any sort of, um, serious relationship...” she quirked an eyebrow suggestively.

“Go on...”

“Well, I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime? You know, like an actual date. So, uh..” 

That was certainly not a question Esther hadn’t expected. She’d thought of many possibilities and that was second on her list. But that didn’t mean she was prepared to answer. She’d actually be helping Jane, but then again, did she ever intend to hurt her? What she’d intended, was to have fun even if it cost Jane some of her reputation. She didn’t want to be a criminal unless it came to it. Crime would be too hard to cover up. All the police stuff would be such a nuisance. And a date could be fun. Plus, it was probably the best way to get any further with the guy since Jane didn’t seem to have the balls for it. At least this guy was actually trying. If Esther never turned up, God only knows how long he’d have to wait for Jane to be “ready”. So she decided to take a chance. After all, who was she if she didn’t take risks?

“Sure! I’d love to. It’s about time we stopped dancing around this. You’re saving yourself from the friend-zone, congratulations!” He sort of smiled sheepishly, as if she’d somehow made this awkward. Oh God. Had she sounded snarky when she said that? She didn’t mean to, it was just her nature. Well, if that ruined it, she’d have to find herself another guy. But much to her surprise, he didn’t seem too put off by her comment.

“Ok. So, um, how about Friday?”

“Sounds good. Any plans?”

“Well, a few. I’ll let you know the specifics when I get them sorted.”

“Great. Well, I better be going, it’s getting late and I’ve got a lot to do. I’ll see you around.”

“Sure thing,” he tipped his hat to her with a wink, “Good night Jane.”

“Good night to you too, Jack.” And with that, they went their separate ways. And although it was hard not to laugh, she pretended she didn’t notice Jack quietly celebrating behind her when he thought he was out of earshot. Cute. Maybe this would be a nice surprise for Jane after all. Or maybe she’d let that night be all her own.

Meanwhile, Jack was ready to burst with joy. After their drunken antics the previous night, he figured drunk sex would take as much confidence as asking her out whilst sober. So he could do it. He’d wanted to for months, but wasn’t sure what to do, what to say, or how she’d take it. Jane was incredible. He adored everything about her: her walk, laugh, smile, eyes, hair, jokes, determination and most importantly: her kindness. It was very rare to find a girl of her status that wasn’t all high and mighty. Any time a rich girl dated a poor man, it would only ever be to experience some sort of fantasy. But soon enough, the novelty wares off and they ditch them for someone with a much more impressive wallet. It was for this very reason that all of his friends had been very quick to keep them apart when they first started getting close. They loved him too much to let him get hurt. But then they met her and over time, they grew to like her. They all appreciated her work at SPRUCE, and with that and her general attitude, they had all come to the conclusion that she was actually different from the rest. Now, they were probably the biggest supporters of their growing relationship.

This was probably why he did what he did. Excitedly, he hopped onto his bike, and cycled down to the Blue Jockey. He could almost guarantee that his friends would be hanging out at the pub after work. And as luck would have it, they were.

When he entered the small dingy pub, several of the other leeries were there. A large group had gathered at one of the tables at the back, while a much smaller group sat at the other end. Jack quickly spotted his closest friend, Angus, sat at the bar ordering a drink. Jack slid onto the seat next to him and followed in Angus’ footsteps, getting himself a drink. Angus looked at him quizzically, assessing Jack’s features and proud expression.

“What’s with you then? You look in good form.” He grinned. Jack chuckled a little as the barman handed them their drinks.

“Things are looking up my friend.” Angus giggled at his theatricality.

“How so?”

“I got a date with Jane.” His jaw hit the floor.

“Like an actual, official date?”

“Yep.” Angus’ look of shock morphed into one of joy. His smile curled into a crescent and his eyes lit up like fireworks. A giddy giggle passed his lips as he dived on Jack and put him in a playful headlock, taking his hat off and scuffing up his hair.

“I knew you could do it! Look at you! Aww. I’m so proud!” He turned around to the other leeries in the pub, “Hey lads! Jack’s only gone and pulled! He’s got his first date with his bird!” They were met with a chorus of ecstatic cheers and were soon swamped by their friends piling around them and asking questions. But of all the teasing questions he got, one was actually worth asking:

“What’ve you got planned?” Jack had some ideas, as he had mentioned to Jane. He certainly didn’t have much money, but what he did have, was connections. Sure, he couldn’t pay for a night on the town or a reservation at a posh restaurant, but he could borrow some friends to organise their own evening. With help, he could easily put together a magical night for her. One that she wouldn’t forget, and one that wouldn’t make him bankrupt.

“Actually, I have some ideas. But I’ll need your help for it.” The leeries looked between each other, eager to help and excited to get the opportunity to be involved.

“Consider it done!” Angus chimed. “Whatever your thinkin’ of doing, we’ll help you out.”

“Well then you need to get planning.” The barman smirked, pulling out a pencil and a notepad, offering it to the lads. “I imagine you’re going to want to organise something big.” Jack laughed,

“How’d you know?”

“‘Cos you always like to do big things for people.”

The leeries all piled in close, each one offering to do jobs: organising food, music, a venue. Oscar even offered to let Jack borrow his dad’s wedding suit to wear for the night, since Jack didn’t have particularly fancy clothes. Each one chimed in, knowing someone somewhere with something that they could borrow for the night if they asked nicely. Not a single one hesitated to offer their services for the evening and soon enough, the plan was set. Not one part of the arrangements had been difficult and sure enough, Jack ended up having more help and more plans for the date than he had originally thought of.

“I tell you what,” Angus started, “if all this goes right, it’s gonna be a top night, I’m tellin’ you now.”

“Let’s hope it all goes well then.”

“This is great!” Angus squealed, “I can’t wait to tell me Ma about this! She’s going to love it!” Jack smiled fondly. He’d been so glad to see that everyone else were just excited about the whole thing as he was. Not a single one had warned him to avoid her like they used to. They’d all been so supportive and it warmed his heart to know that they were all so willing to help. Needless to say, he was eternally grateful. Needless to say, he couldn’t wait til Friday.


	4. Stop It

The rain had come and gone. In fact, it had come and gone a few times over the course of the week. But that’s just typical British weather: it can never make its mind up. But to Jane, one thing was more unpredictable than the comings and goings of the rain, and that was Esther. Throughout the week, she had randomly arrived to cause havoc. It was getting more and more difficult to manage. On a few occasions, she’d even arrived mid conversation. It was getting to a point where she would come at least once a day, and Jane had no way to counter it. Sometimes, they could do it themselves and switch at will to have written conversations, but it was difficult. Most of their switches were completely random with no way to prevent them even for a short time.

Her next issue then, was what she’d do while she had control of her body. So far, they were still on civil terms with each other, and wouldn’t deliberately try to get the other into trouble, but they didn’t really try to help, and Esther certainly wasn’t going to act like Jane. They had left Jane looking a mess. One minute she’d be quietly working and the next, she be out partying all night. Some thought it was a good thing. She was working and having fun, but they didn’t know about Esther. The problem was, Esther only ever had fun. This meant the limited time Jane had in control, she had to spend working to make up for what Esther hadn’t done. This meant Jane never had time for fun and didn’t get to appreciate the enjoyment that Esther had when she was in control.

She’d managed to get Esther to agree to do things like go to work every day or to remain loyal to plans Jane had made. So far, she’d kept up with that, although she usually wouldn’t participate as Jane would have hoped. Still, at least she was there. They’d both taken to carrying around a notebook and pen to keep track of things they’d done and what needed to be done in case of a sudden switch. It was often difficult to piece things together from the notes, but they were certainly helping. Thankfully, it was one other thing Esther had agreed to keep up with.

They’d both come to the conclusion that it was best to not try to ruin each other as it would raise eyebrows and get them into trouble. Then they’d both be stuck. However, this didn’t mean their two opposite lifestyles were more carefully blended together. Nope. When they switched, it was like suddenly turning a light on rather than easing into things. But still, they tried their best to make it work, just as long as they didn’t annoy each other.

This meant that when Jane wrote a note asking Esther to make sure she went to Michael’s house for a family meal, she complied quite happily. Much to Jane’s relief. They had switched only minutes before Jane was due to set off, but when Esther checked the notebook, she carried on with Jane’s plans. Grabbing her coat and hat, she set of to Jane’s brother’s house, as if she made the arrangement herself.

Upon arrival, she was greeted at the door by the children.

“Aunt Jane! Hello!” Georgie had chimed. John, ever the gentleman, offered to take her coat, before Annabel led them through to the dining room. They were all so mature, it was actually quite scary at times to know that they could probably be better suited to looking after their father, rather than it being the other way around. Her thoughts, however, were interrupted by Michael tumbling out of the kitchen and into the hall, soaking wet. Esther only had to take one look at him to know what was going on.

“Another burst pipe?” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and let out a soft laugh.

“Yeah...”

“You really need to get all the plumbing redone, ideally. One of these days, you’ll wake up in the morning and find the house flooded in the night.”

“You know I couldn’t afford to have all that work done at the moment. We’ll just have to play it by ear and hope we can catch each one as it happens.” Esther smiled. Michael may be a human disaster, but she had to admit, she liked to call him her brother.

“Well, we managed to salvage dinner, so you’ll still be fed. Come on, Ellen got a lovely roasted ham.” The thought alone set her stomach growling, so she was quick to take her seat at the table with Michael and the children. Moments later, Ellen swiftly brought out a stack of plates and served everybody a generous helping of ham, mash, broccoli, carrots and gravy.

Now, one important thing to note, is that when Jane had imagined Esther going to the meal, she hadn’t imagined there’d be alcohol there. Had she known that Esther would be offered wine, she might’ve been more cautious about letting Esther go along. Unfortunately, she wasn’t prepared for that possibility. And worst of all, Esther accepted. The main problem with this, was that Esther was a lightweight when it came to alcohol. Sure, it was perfect for her, Esther could get blackout drunk three times faster than anyone else. But it also meant that a glass of wine with dinner, that Jane could’ve easily handled, would set Esther off in a spiralling descent of drunken antics.

“Georgie, come on. Eat your carrots.” Michael ordered with each word sounding more tired than the last.

“But I don’t like-“ A loud burp suddenly interrupted him. All eyes turned to Esther who was giggling like a child.

“Oops! ‘Scuse me.”

“Right.” Michael was more than a little surprised at her, but the children seemed to just find it hilarious. Michael couldn’t help but laugh a bit, even if it was kind of disgusting. And since Jane loved entertaining the kids, he quickly brushed it off.

As the conversation moved on again, Michael finally convinced Georgie to eat his carrots. He could be such a faddy eater sometimes.

“So Jane,” Michael started, “how’s your week been?” Esther held a sly grin while Michael hoped she wasn’t up to something. That face was something that meant, right from when she was little girl, she was going to cause some trouble.

“Well, I had a chance to hang with Jack at the pub.”

“Oh really?” He said suggestively. The kids giggled, wanting to know what they’d got up to.

“Really.”

“And what did you get up to?”

“Well, let’s just say *hic* he’s a dick!” The whole room fell silent as she realised her mistake.

“No! Wait! I meant to say he’s got a nice dick!” John and Annabel tried to avert their eyes while Michael instantly covered Georgie’s ears. It was at this point, she realised what their problem with her actually was. It was the word choice, not the insult. Oops.

“Wait! Forget I ever mentioned his dick. Wait! No, dammit!” Michael grew more appalled with every word that poured out of her mouth. And when the room was quiet once more, she could’ve sworn she heard Ellen cackling away to herself in the kitchen.

The meal continued on in this fashion for a while, with Esther consistently making a tit of herself in front of everyone, and even teaching the children a few new words. Michael couldn’t believe his ears at her sudden foul mouth or her apparent drunkenness. She couldn’t possibly get in such a state from one glass of wine, but he could’ve sworn she was sober when she first arrived.

When Ellen came back in to take the plates and top up the drinks, Michael gave her a firm look ordering her to keep Jane away from anymore alcohol. And although Esther was disappointed, even she knew it was for the best. She couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed about the whole thing.

It was around this point that Esther realised that she hadn’t been spoken to in a while. It seemed Michael didn’t want to encourage her to speak, for fear of what kind of response he’d be getting. But although it did make some sense, in Esther’s mind, it mostly just came across as rude. And in her very own personal opinion, only she was allowed to be rude.

“Then we went to Owen’s house. And he’d made an entire castle out of cardboard! It was so cool.” It was at this point that Esther just started laughing at John’s story. Uncomfortably loud and uncomfortably long. All the eyes at the table darted between each other, looking for an answer. But they were all just as clueless as each other.

After what seemed like an hour, she finally stopped,choosing to get up and go to the bathroom, much to Michael’s relief. As she hurried up the steps, downstairs, Michael excused the children and prepared himself for the undoubtably awkward conversation he was going to have to have with her when she came back.

However, upstairs, things were changing. Esther had felt the switch coming on at the dining table, and hadn’t been sure if it would be a good idea to let it happen down there. Locking the bathroom door, her hands instantly flew to hold her head as it started violently pounding. A misty smog filled her vision and for a second, she could’ve sworn it was smoke from a fire. But instead of coughing and wheezing, she found herself stumbling and having to sit on the floor. The darkness continued to encroach at the edge of her vision, mumbling and whispering to her. Her time was up. And as the fuzzy warmth of unconsciousness took hold of her, so did the alcohol. And before she knew it, she tipped over from her place on the floor, before everything went black.

When Jane awoke, she was aware of something cold pressing against her side. And as she took in her surroundings, she realised that it was the cold tiled floor she was lying on. It was certainly one of the most unusual ways she’d woken up so far, but at least she was safe. After all, it didn’t take long before she realised she was in the bathroom of her brother’s house. Quickly, she looked at her watch to see it was half past seven. She was still at Michael’s for the meal. She dragged herself up from the floor, concerned that she might look weird if she stayed in there for too long. Checking herself in the mirror, she decided she still looked presentable, and so, taking deep breath, she opened the door to finish the evening Esther had started.

Unfortunately for her, it seemed that Esther had also finished the evening already. As she made her way to the bottom of the stairs, Michael had raced right over with a pretty irritated look plastered on his face. Purely out of habit, she couldn’t help but giggle at the sight, however, this only seemed to annoy him further.

“Jane, I think you ought to go home.” Uh oh. “Clearly you’ve had too much to drink, and it seems I can’t trust you right now to act appropriately in front of the children. So you need to leave.” Jane wasn’t even slightly prepared to deal with this. She couldn’t help but cringe at the disappointed look her was giving her. Confused as to what the hell she did and why on earth she had done it in the first place. His awkwardly shifting feet were enough to tell her that he felt bad for needing to do this, so she thought it best not to kick up a fuss.

“Ok then. Uh- sorry... bye.” She couldn’t see the kids from her place in the hallway, but based on Michael’s face, she figured it would probably be best not to bother with a goodbye. So, taking her hat and coat, she stepped out into the cool night air with a growing look of fury.

Of course she knew what happened. It was Esther. She’d ruined the whole night! And now Michael was going to hate her and be suspicious. And the kids! Oh no, the kids had such wild imaginations. She couldn’t even begin to fathom what wild explanations they’d have for her behaviour, and for once, they might even guess right! God only knows what would happen if they got involved and tried to stop Esther. The kids caused chaos even when they wanted to help, and if you throw a psycho into the mix, things are destined for disaster.

When she finally made it back home, Jane immediately stalked over to her writing desk, yanking out a piece of paper and the first pen she could find.

‘Esther,

I don’t know what on earth you were thinking today, but you got me thrown out for acting so stupidly! I can’t let you keep doing that or else we’re both going to get in trouble, and then neither of us will be able to get anything done.

So I’ll say it only once. You have to stop! This is not your life, it’s mine. I am in control. So I suggest you learn to act properly and not like a complete pillock!

-Jane’

When Esther would come read this, however, it didn’t have the desired effect. Not at all. For when Esther read this, she only could think of the threat she had made to Jane. She would have more than a hangover to deal with if she told her to stop. She was not in charge. And as she sat for a moment to think, she barely took a minute to come up with her punishment.

“It’s such a shame. I’d really been looking forward to that date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are kicking off next week... see you then!


	5. Dating?

“There! Perfect!” Angus adjusted Jack’s tie with a gleeful smile. The suit fit perfectly. Oscar was right: it did look great on him.

“You don’t scrub up too badly.”

“I suppose so.” Jack chimed. Freddie and Oscar stopped as they passed by, dropping the various things they were carrying.

“Let’s get a look at you then!” Oscar beamed as he took Jack by the shoulders, turning him to face him. He took a step back to admire him. The best penguin suit a leerie could get ahold of. His father had saved for a year to buy it for his wedding. After that, it had been passed around to countless men over the years whenever they were in need of looking smart. And for Jack, today was that very day. Freddie jumped on Oscar, resting his head on his shoulder as he cooed at Jack, before stretching forward to pinch his cheek.

“Awww! You’re look so handsome!” Jack only laughed, feeling a bit awkward in the situation. The nerves about the evening probably didn’t help much either. There had been so much work to prepare the date and he was so desperate for Jane to like it. They were at the abandoned park where he had taken Mary and the children. The lamps lit up the evening air with a warm glow and had flowers and ribbons tied around them. The whole area had been swept and the fountain quietly bubbled at the back. The parks dim lighting was almost identical to the sort in London’s top end restaurants, which was exactly the look they were going for. It was perfectly suited with the table in the centre, adorned with a white cloth, a central candle and a handmade wreath of flowers.

The leeries had been such a huge help. They helped make everything. The whole evening had barely cost a penny thanks to them. They were all happy to provide their talents to make the night special: Lucas had borrowed some instruments for himself and a few others to play for the evening, the Smith brothers (Clarke and Dante) had set up a temporary kitchen in the old greenhouse at the back, and that was being manned by Lee, David and Cole (although some others were probably going to end up helping them too). Just about every leerie that knew him had offered to help in some way, whether it be providing something material, or their services for the evening. He was eternally grateful and with all their help, he knew the night would go off without a hitch.

“Well, she should be here any minute.” Jack announced, checking his watch: six o’clock.

“Places everyone!” All the leeries dashed to their various stations around the park, leaving Jack alone with Angus, who whispered ‘good luck’ before also dashing off. He walked closer to the gate to stand by and wait for Jane. He’d told her the day before where to meet and at what time, but he thought he’d keep a look out in case she got lost. After all, the park was a little out of the way, and it had been abandoned for years. She probably didn’t even know it existed, never mind how to get there without his directions.

As he stood there, he imagined what it would be like to see her approach the gate. Her honey blonde hair bouncing in their perfect curls, framing her elegant face, wearing an adorable smile. She‘d be, no doubt, in one of her many stylish modern outfits. Honestly though, she could wear a bin bag and still look like a model. He’d stare in awe at her hazel eyes as they reflected the golden lamp light behind him and he’d have to contain the urge to kiss her when she’d undoubtedly use that cute giggle on him that knocked him down every time. She’d speak poetry from her lips with a faultless melody that would repeat in his head for days to come. Her mere presence would steal his breath and leave him unable to do much more than miserably fail to find words to describe her. It was impossible to sum her up completely without having to invent new words especially for her. He’d never met someone so impossible to define. Everyday was something new. Something unexpected that could change his world entirely. He loved it. He loved the thrill. He was completely addicted to her, and to live without her would be like trying to live without air. Impossible. He couldn’t understand how he’d been so lucky that a girl of her class would pay even the slightest bit of attention to him. Nobody would have done that. He’d be a novelty. But not to her. Not to Jane. Somehow, he meant as much to her as she did to him. She was impossible. His impossible girl.

Being so caught up in his own mind, he didn’t even notice when Angus came up behind him.

“Is she here yet?” Angus has been excited all evening for this date, so it didn’t surprise him that he’d be a little impatient. What did surprise him was the concerned tone in his voice.

“Not yet.” Was his relaxed response.

“That’s strange. She’s fifteen minutes late. She’s never late for anything.” That was what caught him off guard. Fifteen minutes? He hadn’t even realised it had been so long. That was strange. Angus was right. She was never late to anything. If she wasn’t precisely on time, then she was early. Thinking she must have gotten a bit lost, he walked down to the end of the path to see if he could spot her anywhere in the area. From this spot, he could see just about everything in the park: the flowers, the statue, the winding paths. But he couldn’t see Jane.

Thinking of a possible solution, Jack remembered that Jane had mentioned there was a lot going on that day. She had a big rally and then a few meetings. He figured that whatever work she was doing had run over a bit and that she was just running behind schedule. This seemed to make sense to Angus and the two went back to the gates, this time however, Jack went inside. If Jane was going to be late because of her work, he may as well sit down while he waited. He had to admire her hard work and determination. It was rare to see a girl like her doing so much to help people like him. He really loved her for it.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Big Ben chimed for 7 o’clock. He’d been waiting for an hour. By this time, everyone figured that even if she had to stay late and work past 5, she should still be here by now. Jack anxiously fiddled with the cuffs of his sleeves. Where was she?

Meanwhile, Angus watched from the greenhouse. He had gathered all the leeries. It was time to talk.

“Ok. This is getting ridiculous. Something must’ve happened. I want you to all follow your lighting routes and search London for her. A few of us will stay here in case she turns up, so some of you will have to double up on routes.” The leeries nodded in determination and began to arrange who would stay and who would take the extra routes. In only a few minutes, the assembled leeries were organised and set out to find Jane, while Angus stayed back, assuring Jack that she’d be there.

“She’ll be here. We’ll find her.”

Countless bikes tore up and down London’s streets, checking every place imaginable. From the biggest market squares, down to the darkest dankest allies. They knew the streets like the back of their hands, there was no way they could miss her. But alas, they did. Almost fifty leeries went out to search and were gone for ages. Each one did their route and checked it again before redoing it, but she was nowhere to be found. One by one, the leeries gave up and went back to the park to report to Angus and just hope to God that someone else had found her.

One leerie, however, was a little late to do that. Freddie had searched his route twice with no luck, but he was one of the few that had to take up a second route. He was covering Jack’s. Along the streets, there wasn’t a sign of life, and by ten o’clock, he finished the route. He honestly was wondering if Jack and the others would still be at the park or if they’d have gone home by that point. Upon reaching the last lamp, he came to realise where he was: number 17, Cherry Tree Lane. Jack had mentioned the place a few times. It was Jane’s brother’s house and their childhood home. According to Jack, Jane visited often. That gave him a perfect idea, the Banks would surely have some idea of where she was.

He hopped up the steps and lightly knocked on the door, conscientious not to be too disruptive as it was quite late. In the end it was the housekeeper that answered, Ellen. She looked him up and down, surprised by such a visitor at such a time.

“Can I help you?” He tried to force a calm and friendly tone despite the anger and fear nibbling at the back of his mind for where she could be.

“I was just wondering if you knew where I might find Jane Banks. It’s quite urgent.” Her eyes were rather sceptical, but she replied nonetheless,

“I suppose you’re one of Jack’s friends. Well she came over earlier for dinner and she said after, she’d be meeting up with some work friends for a drink.” Freddie was pretty surprised by the revelation, but decided not to ask any more questions as she looked to be getting more and more irritated by him with every second he was in her presence.

“Right. Thank you very much. Good night!”

“Goodnight.” Was her exasperated response. Freddie bound down the steps again and jumped on his bike. He knew where to go. Although he didn’t know Jane too well, he knew her work. And he’d seen on a few occasions, Jane and her SPRUCE co-workers going for a celebratory drink after the more successful rallies. It was a swanky club in the middle of the city that had an average price per drink that was enough to make him uncomfortable. If that’s how much money they could happily spend on alcohol, he could only imagine what their salaries were like.

However, his main problem was why the hell she’d be there at all. Had she seriously forgotten about the date? He didn’t really know what to think. She seemed a nice enough girl, and the way Jack spoke about her, you’d think she’d hung the sun. She didn’t seem like the kind of girl to bail on a date or to just forget something so important. His confusion was particularly dominant. It was the only thing holding back his anger. He had a lot of harsh words in his heart, but he wouldn’t let himself release them until he understood what was going on completely. Maybe it was innocent? Or maybe he just wanted to believe that.

Finally, Freddie arrived at the club. He could hear the loud music inside the pristine building as he parked his bike. Taking a breath, he walked in. Rich people were having a great time drinking and laughing, although they all seemed to be a bit more raucous than he had expected. In the dark room, many were singing loudly along to the music, dancing, or even up on the tables. But one thing was common among them all: they were all absolutely bladdered.

In the far corner, Freddie spotted the table of SPRUCE workers. There was about seven of them. All their things were at the table, but as the dance floor was just next to their spot, they were all up and dancing there. In the group, Freddie was quick to spot Jane with a drink in hand and having the time of her life. He couldn’t believe it. She was actually just out clubbing. No. He had to be sure. He didn’t want to believe someone would do this. Maybe she’d just confused the date? So before he even knew what he was doing, he was approaching her in a determined stride.

“Excuse me, Jane?” He tried to be polite, but he couldn’t help the angry hiss in his voice. Thankfully though, as he had to shout over the music, it more or less disguised his anger. That or Jane didn’t notice it or care very much about his tone.

“Yessssss?” Her slurred words were a sure enough sign she’d had far too much to drink.

“What are you doing here? You’re meant to be on your date with Jack, he’s been waiting for you!” She looked at him blankly for a moment as the gears turned in her head. Then, like a light had been switched on in her brain, her face lit up with realisation.

“Oh yeah! That.” She waved a hand dismissively, “Yeah, I didn’t really feel like it.”

WHAT?!

“Excuse me?” Ok, now there was no point in hiding his rage.

“I didn’t *hic* feel like it.” Barely able to stand, she pushed against Freddie’s chest in a feeble attempt to get him to leave. “Go away, I’m having fun.”

Freddie was gobsmacked. His brain was so busy processing the information, that he didn’t really let his anger take ahold of him until getting on his bike. By that point, the anger turned into energy and sent him racing back to the park like an enraged bull. She didn’t care. She really didn’t care. She hurt Jack and didn’t even care. Nobody hurts Jack. NOBODY HURTS JACK!

Back at the park. Things weren’t going well. Angus was beginning to lose hope and was beginning to rehearse how he was going to break it to Jack. He couldn’t bear it. From the green house, he watched Jack, who was still sat at the table. He’d laid his arm on the table to rest his head on, giving him a side view of his glass of water that he was mindlessly fiddling with. He was glad that he couldn’t see his face from his position. He didn’t want to have to see what this was doing to his friend. It wasn’t right. Checking his watch, it’d been hours. There was no chance that the date was going to happen, but now everyone was more concerned about where Jane actually was. He didn’t know what he wanted the explanation to be. Had she bailed? Had something happened to her? Was she hurt? Every idea was a terrible one and he didn’t want to see Jack be forced to deal with such a thing. But he had to admit, the fears for her safety was the only thing keeping them waiting at the park. But that was beginning to change.

He might’ve been more worried for her safety, but as the leeries gradually returned, it appeared that a few had heard different things about Jane going into town at around seven. But aside from that, they knew nothing else. Still, it was enough to know that she didn’t intend on seeing Jack. As each one returned just as hopeless as the last, the mood dropped. Everyone had chosen to stay in the greenhouse, not one of them wanting to face Jack yet. What could they possibly say to make this better? He’d been stood up. And after all the hard work too.

Eventually, the silence was broken by enraged mumblings coming from outside. The greenhouse’s back door opened and in stepped Freddie, the perfect picture of rage, pacing the floor at a furious rate.

“I don’t believe it. I can’t believe her. That little bi-“

“What’s wrong?” Angus cut in.

“What’s wrong? I only went and found her!” He was met with wide eyes, “Oh yeah! At a pub, with her friends, completely pissed beyond belief! And when I asked what the hell she was doing, she said she just didn’t feel like coming!” The entire room erupted into a chorus of gasps that morphed into angry comments as Freddie continued to furiously pace. And in that moment, she became the villain as the b word was tossed around... a lot.

“You can’t be serious. Please tell me you’re joking!”

“Does it look like I’m joking!” He didn’t know what to say. She’d always been so nice. But then again, this wasn’t just the two of them having a friendly flirt. Maybe she really didn’t want to have a serious relationship. But surely she’d at least have the decency to tell him, instead of leaving him to wait for so long without any information! Jack didn’t deserve this. He worked so hard. Wasn’t she supposedly different from other rich girls? Well clearly not. Jack was just a stupid novelty to her. Well he wasn’t going to allow that. She didn’t deserve to have had Jack ever even give her the time of day. Screw money! If this was her real nature, then Jack was definitely the better person. And he’d make sure that she knew that. He’d never forgive her.

“Right. Well I’m going to tell him. She may not love him, but I sure as hell do! He’s waited long enough for her.” In a determined stride, he exited the greenhouse, slamming the door behind him. But as soon as he left, the burning fury left him. The sight of Jack was enough to take his breath away. In all his life, he’d never known him to be so still. He became very aware of how cold it had become and the nipping wind was clearly being felt by Jack, who was shivering slightly.

He quietly made his way down the steps and approached his friend, taking a seat at the vacant chair at the table. Despite now being sat opposite him, Jack’s position still made it hard to see his face properly.

“Jack. I’m sorry. She’s not coming.” Jack tensed up and remained silent for at least 10 seconds before making his muffled voice be known.

“You’re sure?” The sound was cracked and broken, as if he’d been crying. That thought alone was enough to break his heart, but with the actual state of his best friend to contend with as well, Angus couldn’t help his own emotional swell as tears began to prickle in his eyes.

“We’re sure. Freddie saw her at the pub with some friends. When he asked her why she didn’t come, she said she, uh...” He couldn’t say it. He didn’t want to tell his best friend that the love of his life didn’t care about him. But then Jack looked up. He raised his head from where it was resting on his arm and looked him dead in the eyes. Something there in that vulnerable look begged him to just tell him the truth. Even if it hurt him. And before he really knew what he was doing, he did exactly that and told the truth,

“She said she didn’t feel like it.” That was it. Jack’s head fell back against his arm in defeat. He pulled his other arm towards him from where it had been splayed across the table. He buried his head and if it hadn’t been for the muffled sniffles, Angus would have thought he was just shivering in the cold. But it was worse than that. He’d never seen Jack cry before. And he wished to never have to see it again. His heart dropped and he shuffled his chair to Jack’s side to pull him into a much needed hug. He deflated into the embrace and cried freely into his shoulder. How could she have done this? Angus tried to soothe him and rubbed circles into his back, all the while wondering what to do. Jack never cried. He was the one that helped everyone. He knew how to make things better when nobody else did. He knew exactly how to deal with each individual he came across. But there had never been a time when it had been necessary to return the favour. And he didn’t know how. All he knew was that Jane had done this. Jane had made Jack cry.


	6. Hopeless

Jane had woken up in a rather pleasant mood that morning. She couldn’t really say why, but things just felt good. When her hair behaved beautifully as she styled it and she found all her necessities (bag, keys, etc) without the long search it usually took after she’d misplaced them yet again. Things had been going well with Jack, and Esther also seemed to like being with him. A comforting thought when that girl could ruin people she doesn’t like. The sun shone bright and warm, and for the morning, she felt at peace.

The note to Esther still played havoc in the back of her mind, she had said in one of her first letters that she’d cause more trouble if she told her to stop, but she didn’t seem to have done anything bad in response. In fact, when she checked the notebook, Esther had apparently had a nice time at a party with her coworkers last night. So maybe she was bluffing. Maybe she was just threatening her to be able to do what she wanted. After all, she seemed to be enjoy living Jane’s life. Why ruin it?

Any doubts were immediately forgotten when she stepped outside. Her chipper and energised mood meant it made perfect sense to stop by at Michael’s house before going to work. She had plenty of time after all. Plus, it was the perfect opportunity to see Jack again.

She was delighted to see her timing was right and to see her favourite lamplighter turning down the final lamp on his route. She practically skipped down the street when she saw him, coming up behind him as he slid down the ladder. Her heart was soaring. Which is why it hurt as much as it did when he turned around and wasn’t Jack.

A different man stood in front of her. She had seen him before, he was one of Jack’s friends, but she couldn’t say she easily remembered his name. It was a good few seconds before it came to her:

“Angus? What are you doing here, where’s Jack?” At the moment he saw her, the young leerie’s eyes seemed to darken as he gritted his teeth at her. He simply glared at her before turning away and packing his ladder back onto the side of his bike.

“Angus? Seriously, what’s wrong?” She tried to move back in front of him, but Angus refused to look at her, instead busying himself with the straps for the ladder, that were giving him a much harder time in his fury.

“Come on! What did I do? Why’re you being like this?” At this point, Angus let out a frustrated sigh. Jane had wished it was only due to the fact that she probably sounded like an annoying whiny child at the moment, but really, he wasn’t upset about that. He was much angrier at what she’d been saying.

“I swear, you have got to be the most infuriating woman I’ve ever met. Are you seriously asking me what’s wrong?!” His head snapped up from his task as a furious frown lay on his sealed lips, blocking anything more foul from escaping. Jane barely knew how to react. His outburst confused her more every second. Eventually, she managed to give him a cautious but confused look along with a nod. His face nearly resembled a tomato by how red he went. Something that at any other moment, Jane may have found rather comical. But this was hardly the time.

“You ditched Jack last night! You never showed up to the date! That’s what I’m upset about! That’s why we traded routes.” Wait. What? She never went out with Jack? There were never any plans made! And if Esther was planning a meeting, it would’ve been mentioned in the notebook. Jane was about to correct him on the matter, but he wasn’t finished yet. “Do you know he waited HOURS for you? And you didn’t show!” She panicked. She definitely panicked. Esther must’ve forgotten to mention the meeting or something. She’d never forget Jack if she’d known they were supposed to meet. But that still left a question. If Jane didn’t organise it, Esther must have done. And if she was in control last night, why didn’t she go? But that question could wait. She had to explain herself first.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry. I had a family emergency and couldn’t go. I asked my friend to tell him but he must’ve gotten lost or something.” The weak excuse failed to convince Angus. Actually, he looked worse.

“You’re really going to tell me that! We had all the lads out looking for you. You were seen in town getting drunk with your friends, not getting them to pass messages. You stood him up, and now you’re seriously going to stand there and try make up poor excuses?!” His voice raised with every word and she became very conscious of the nosey people walking by, giving the pair some odd looks. “Why did you do that to him? He loved you!” Jane could offer no response, instead, she stood there in shame, completely dumbfounded as she tried to cobble something together. But nothing came out.

“You know,” his voice lowered, “I’ve known Jack all my life, and not once have I seen him cry. And if I ever have to see that again, I won’t be afraid to hurt whoever caused it. You’re lucky that the law is protecting you Jane Banks. Next time, though, I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself.” With that, he snatched the bike further from Jane and climbed on, kicking away the stand that had supported it while he worked. In a swift motion, he pushed off and cycled away. No matter how many times Jane called out to him, however, he didn’t stop. He didn’t even look back at her when she burst into tears in the middle of the street. She didn’t know! She didn’t know. If she knew they were meant to go out together, she could’ve made sure it happened. But why on earth had she never been told?

Although Angus didn’t seem to care about what was wrong with Jane, someone did. Three someones to be precise. From the living room window, said someones had watched the whole encounter and heard every word.

“What on earth was that?” John asked in disbelief, looking to Annabel.

“I don’t know...” The three fell into an astonished silence while they watched Jane outside. They were all very confused. Why was she so upset? If she didn’t want to go, she could’ve just said. But surely she would want to have gone out. She liked Jack, didn’t she? After a few more moments passed, Georgie finally cried out,

“Look! She’s coming!”

“Who’s coming?” Michael asked, coming down down the stairs. However, his question was answered when Jane came through the door, head hanging low and holding back tears.

“Oh my goodness! Jane, whatever’s the matter?!” At this point, Jane cracked, bursting into tears as she tried to hide her face in her hands. Michael instinctively pulled her into a hug before politely ordering the children upstairs to give them some privacy, and given the circumstances, they quickly obliged, leaving Michael to guide his sister into the parlour to sit down and talk.

It took a minute of hugging and crying before Michael could finally calm her down enough for her to speak, but when she was ready, Jane still couldn’t put a stop to the hitching of her voice or the silent tears still rolling down her cheeks.

“Come on now,” he urged, “tell me what happened.” Despite his soft tone, Jane still held a rather fast and panicked one of her own.

“I missed my first date with Jack. I’ve really upset him and now all the leeries hate me.” She blurted out. Michael was stunned. Surely there was some kind of rational explanation behind it all, surely it was an overreaction to something. And how come she’d arranged a date that he hadn’t heard about?

“What do you mean? How did you miss the date?” Jane was at a loss for words. She knew exactly what had happened. It had to be Esther’s doing. Although she wasn’t certain as to why she’d do that, it was the only explanation. But the problem wasn’t that, it was how on earth she could explain it to Michael without sounding crazy or mean. As the silence dragged on, she decided maybe it was best to just accept, for the moment, that she and Esther were the same person. She hated it, but how else would she sound sane?

“I guess I kinda... stood him up.”

“What? Why?!”

“I don’t know!” Michael spluttered like a fish out of water as he tried to collect enough words to produce a coherent sentence, despite his shock.

“What did you do then, instead of going out with him?” She really didn’t want to say it, but it was the truth, and she would only look worse if she didn’t answer.

“I- I went out to a party with some work friends.” Her head fell in shame, unable to look Michael in the eye. But if she had done, she would’ve seen his wide eyed horror at her actions.

“Really? Why would you do that?” He sounded so disappointed in her, and she hated every second of it. But even though she didn’t want to make things worse, she just didn’t know what to say to make it better, if that was even possible.

“I don’t know. But now, Jack’s switched routes to avoid me and the leeries hate me and I just don’t know what to do!” Once more, Jane burst into uncontrollable tears as Michael was left with the impossible task of consoling her. He wasn’t going to be able to sort her out completely, but he just had to get her calm enough so she could go to work, that was something she couldn’t miss.

Through all the chaos, neither one of them noticed the face peering over the banister at them, nor did they notice them scurrying back to the nursery when their conversation was over. So when Annabel rejoined her brothers, Jane and Michael had no idea what she’d just heard.

“So? What happened?” Asked John.

“She stood up Jack, and now the leeries are mad at her.”

“We already know that, but why?” She could only shrug her shoulders at Georgie’s question. No matter what, she couldn’t get her head around it. She’d seen the way they looked at each other, and Jack had always gone to the rallies to see her. After the summer fair, everyone had been surprised that they hadn’t started courting, since they were so close. And now that they had finally arranged a proper date, Annabel was finding it rather hard to believe that Jane would back out of it. But it looked like, against all the odds, she had.

“So what should we do?” Annabel and John’s gazes fell onto Georgie in total confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we have to help! But how should we do it?”

“Nononononono,” John started, “We need to stay out of it. It’s not our business,and knowing our luck, we’ll only make things worse.”

“Then what was the point of listening in?”

“Curiosity, Georgie, just curiosity. We never meant to actually do anything.” Georgie seemed to squirm under his harsh glare as John continued, “Anyway, it’d be impossible to help.” Annabel raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Impossible’ wasn’t something the Banks family believed in. And now that John had used the word, Annabel felt rather inclined to get involved just to prove that this was entirely possible, just for the sake of having a good challenge, and John seemed to pick up on her intentions too.

“No. We’re not getting involved.”

“Well, we don’t have to do anything big. If we just get some flowers or something like that, give them to Jack, and say that Jane’s sorry and wants to talk, then they can fix things themselves. We’d only be setting them in the right direction, we’d barely be getting involved.” John was holding firm. “Come on. They’re both really upset, so they must care. They’re probably just too nervous to talk to each other now. If we do nothing, they never will.” John still didn’t budge. “You know, if this carries on, we might never get to hang out with Jack again.” There it was, she’d hit the target. At the notion, John had perked right up, clearly rather worried about such a possibility.

“Fine.” He huffed, “But we’re only going to get them to talk. That’s it. We don’t need to make things any worse than they already are.” Georgie jumped for joy as Annabel revelled in the knowledge that she could convince her brother to do just about anything.

So with only slight reluctance on John’s part, the three collected money from their piggy banks and told their father they were going to the park, before dashing off. Thankfully, Jane had already left for work, so the three of them didn’t have to deal with any awkward encounters for the moment. Michael barely batted an eye at the whole thing as they usually did spend their weekends at the park, and with Jane working, it gave him plenty of time to spend painting, so it wasn’t like he was going to complain about it. So with nothing stopping them, the children began their journey into town to save a relationship. Honestly, adults are just so hopeless.


	7. Mr Lonely

When the children arrived at the floral shop, they were very quick to realise they had no idea what to do.

“Should we get roses?”

“Probably not. If he’s upset with her, it might come across too strong.”

“What about sunflowers? He seems like the sort of guy who’d like sunflowers. They’re very happy flowers.”

“Which is why we shouldn’t get them. We need them to be serious, how do you say sorry with flowers?”

“Maybe I can help with that.” The young florist finally piped up as she came out of the back room.

“What’s the occasion?” She asked.

“We need to get some flowers so our aunt Jane can say sorry to Jack.” Annabel replied. She ‘umm’ed and ‘ahh’ed for a few moments before posing her next question.

“What kind of person is he?”

“He’s really cheerful,” Annabel piped up, “and he’s really fun.”

“Plus he likes to help people and have a laugh.” John added.

“Yeah, and he has the best stories!” Georgie chirped. The florist laughed,

“I can see why you want them to make up. He seems like a good one to have around.” The children agreed. “Ok,” she said, “how about, some yellow roses for friendship. Then add some lilies to refresh things, and we’ll make them yellow too to be cheerful. Blue hyacinth for peace and white orchids to show how much she cares. Daisies for love and new beginnings, white tulips for purity and happinesses, then a dash of ivy for dependability and support. It’s a sincere bouquet to say sorry with a willingness to work harder for a better future.” It sounded perfect. And when the florist arranged the bouquet, it really was perfect. A glorious mixture of yellow, white, green and a splash of blue. If these flowers wouldn’t do the trick, Nothing could. She took a white card and wrote ‘I’m sorry’ in faultless calligraphy, before tying it around the flowers with a loop of string and setting it on the counter.

“Thank you. These are beautiful!”

“You’re more than welcome. Have a nice day. Hope it all goes well.” With that, they payed the lady, and bid their farewells, taking the bouquet and beginning the next leg of their journey: finding Jack when he could be literally anywhere in London.

It started off as a rather daunting task. Jack wasn’t one to stay in one place for very long. They asked every leerie they came across if they had seen him, most hadn’t and the ones who had, hadn’t seen him recently enough for it to be worth checking where they’d spotted him. But they had all promised to keep an eye out to let him know they were looking for him. As more of the leeries were given this job, and they got moving, the message quickly travelled, reaching Jack in only half an hour. Though with so many having these orders, Jack had the message delivered to him seven times in total. From there, he had to search London for the children while they searched for him. So there was still a good deal of confusion. It was nearly two hours later when just by chance, Jack spotted Georgie running around down a smaller side street as he cycled along the main road. He stopped as soon as he saw him and caught up with the lad, finding John and Annabel with him aswell.

“There you are.”

“Jack!” Georgie cheered.

“Hello. So, what’s going on? The lads have been saying you’ve been looking for me.”

“We have a message from Jane.” John started, holding out the bouquet. Jack’s smile faded at the mention of her name, clearly confused as to what was going on.

“She couldn’t get away from work, but she wanted us to give you this.”

“She wanted to say sorry for the other night,” Annabel continued, “she does love you and she wants to talk to you to try to sort it all out.” John passed the bouquet to Jack who stared at it in disbelief. He hadn’t been prepared for Jane to want to talk or be with him at all. But the tiny spark of hope that maybe they could make up and move on was too good to pass. Although he’d been hurt, he still loved her, and he still wanted to be with her, even if only as friends. Now that there was a chance, he couldn’t help the fond smile that crept over his face.

“She really sent this?” He could hardly believe it. “Thank you.” It was at this point that John looked at his watch and realised the time.

“You know, Jane should be finishing work soon. You could meet up with her when she’s done.” It was a good idea that Jack couldn’t allow himself to pass.

“You’re right. I’ll go now and see if I can catch her for a minute.” He focused back on the kids again, “thanks for this.” Georgie bound up to him and threw his arms around his waist for a hug which Jack happily reciprocated. Nothing could hold back his hopeful grin as he placed the bouquet in the basket and set off on his bicycle again. While Georgie waved goodbye, John and Annabel subtly high-fived each other to celebrate their matchmaking skills.

The whole way over, Jack had a giddy laugh on his lips. He kept looking at the flowers adorning the basket in amazement that she would send him something like this. It was adorable and endearing and a million other good things. After the date, Angus had sat with him for almost an hour. He’d been sure that he deserved better and had encouraged Jack not to bother trying to chase her affections. But now, he had proof that she did care, and an excuse to try to have something with her. Annabel had even gone as far as to say that she loved him! He couldn’t resist using all his strength to travel as fast as he possibly could to get to her. He knew all his friends would tell him to run the other way, and that he shouldn’t trust her, but when you’re crushing hard and they give you flowers when you’re feeling a little down, it’s hard to listen to anything rational. He didn’t care if it was a risk, to him, there was nothing wrong with taking a chance on the love of your life. After all, he’d been completely smitten with her for ages now!

Which is why it hurt all the more when he saw her.

When Jack came down Olive Street, he spotted Jane just in time as she came outside. She looked incredible; her short curls were kissed by the sun and her pink lips were twisted upwards into an infectious smile as she confidently strode down the street.

Jack practically dived from his bike to catch up to her as she turned down the corner of the street. His chest vibrated with his pounding heart beneath as he hurried towards her, grinning from ear to ear. But once he caught sight of the beautiful woman again, his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach to digest. There she was, Jane Banks, perfect in every way, and supposedly in love with him, making out with another man. He’d never seen the guy before, but clearly Jane had. Her roaming hands were enough to say she knew him very well. He stared in horror at the scene before him as the man pulled her closer. He wanted to be sick. He wanted to cry. What was she doing?!

He stumbled backward, nearly toppling over. No. No. No no no no no! This couldn’t be happening! Words of warning flashed through his mind. Scattered memories he’d ignored for so long: Angus telling him that workers couldn’t trust rich girls, that they had no respect, that he could never satisfy her no matter how hard he’d try. She’d always want someone with money. Angus was right. He wasn’t enough for her. He never could be. Why hadn’t he listened?! How had he been so stupid?! As he clambered back onto his bike and raced away, Jack couldn’t stop the thoughts whirring in his head:

He’d never make her happy. Why did he even try? He was just Jack! A leerie that can barely make enough money to put food on the table for himself. He was forced to skip meals multiple times a week, of course he couldn’t support anyone else. He was just a worker. All he was meant to do was his job: make the rich people happy enough so he can hope for at least the smallest scraps of their lustrous lives. He wasn’t meant to be happy. He was just meant to live. The very idea that he had a chance with Jane was absurd. And as much as he hated the word, he knew it would be impossible to make a relationship with her work.

When he finally stopped peddling, Jack was completely out of breath. He hadn’t even noticed the frustrated tears that had stained his cheeks along the way. Why was it so impossible to hold onto anything good? His eyes fell on the front basket, still carrying Jane’s bouquet, mocking him. Yellow roses and lilies making him jealous of their happiness, pearly white orchids and tulips laughing at him as if he ever had a chance. Blue hyacinths to serve as a painful reminder of his miserable life while the daisies pointed out his new beginning in life: total loneliness. And the ivy. That god-damned ivy! It had always been his mother’s favourite. Right up until she- she-

His head fell into his hands as he helplessly sobbed in the empty street. God, he hated it. He would’ve given anything to have someone to hug, but he couldn’t seem to hang on to anyone for long enough for that to happen. When he’d tried dating women in the past, it had ended so badly that on one occasion he even tried with another man, but even that was just as much of a failure. The leeries came and went in his life as they worked and then moved on to better things. But he never did. He was always stuck right where he was, watching everyone race past to achieve their dreams, while he was left alone. Life hadn’t even allowed him to keep his family for as long as most people. He barely knew his father before he left, he had no siblings to speak of, and his mother died when he was still just a boy. And what with being from an immigrant family, all his other relatives were in another country and didn’t even know he existed. Hell, even Bert left! All he wanted in his life, was someone that would be a bit more permanent. Was it so much to ask?! But no. Even when he thought he’d found the one, the world disagreed and forced Jane away from him. It just seemed that he was destined to be alone, living a meaningless life.

The wind blew an icy breeze that settled deep in his bones even faster than the existential dread. Looking down at the flowers, he decided to put them to a better use. He set out on his bike again with a new destination in mind, trying desperately to focus on where he was going and ignore the voices in the back of his mind that were getting increasingly louder as they made sure to remind him of his lonely world. It was more than a little distracting, but eventually, he made it across town, to the Church of St. Rita of Cascia.

Thankfully, it was still open as there were a few people waiting to go to confession. Nobody looked up as Jack entered and made his way to the Lady Chapel by the sanctuary. He stood there for a moment and removed his hat, just looking at the statue of Mary in front of him, before lighting a candle in memory of his mother. He hated having to do it, he really should’ve been visiting her grave. But, unfortunately, when she died, he’d only been very young and his father had already left. He’d been so scared of being sent to an orphanage that he ran away. Of course that did work out rather well as it allowed him to meet Bert, but it also meant that he never knew where his mother was buried. And even after looking for her a few years later, he never found her.

He set down the flowers in front of the small alter and knelt in front of it. For a few minutes, Jack simply watched the statue. Mary’s features were kind and loving like a perfect mother, as she stared right back at him. Her gentle smile was comforting and seemed to remind him heavily of his own mother. Something in his heart wished the statue could be a real person, someone who could actually hear. But then again, the statue was just that, a statue. Of course it couldn’t hear him. It was just meant to stand over you while you prayed.

Jack had never been a particularly pious man, not like his mother had been. Back in Puerto Rico, she had always been sure to go into the village every Sunday to go to mass and she kept this tradition up when they came to England too. And so, ever since she passed, Jack couldn’t help but visit the church every so often to talk. Even though the idea was crazy to him, he liked to think there was a god and an afterlife. It made him feel like he wasn’t so alone. His mother was looking down on him and was hopefully smiling. And the thought that some great divine being had a special plan for him, certainly made him feel a little less hopeless.

His hands crept into the inside pocket of his jacket, pulling out his mother’s rosary beads, the only thing that he had left of her. As his thumb gently brushed over the delicate cross, he found his voice hitching as he tried to speak, not even realising the tears beginning to well up in his eyes. It took a lot longer than he expected before he was able to collect himself enough to speak his native tongue,

“Hi mama. It’s been a while.” He knew it was silly, but every time he did this, he half expected her to reply. His voice trembled as he looked up from the beads entwined with his fingers.

“I brought you some flowers today.” He said hopefully, “I know that you’d say I shouldn't spend my money on things like that, but it's fine. I didn't buy them, and no, I didn't steal them either, don't worry.” He chuckled.

“Jane gave them to me. She wanted to say sorry, but I don't think she meant it. I thought you would appreciate them.” He said with a sad smile, “I know how much you like ivy...” The memories of her fluttered past his eyes, dancing in his mind almost as well as she used to. He couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t smiling... well, except when she got sick.

“It’s still strange to think that you’re really gone.” His voice cracked, “It still hurts... a lot. I thought it wouldn't hurt so much anymore, especially since there are so many other people in my life to keep up with. Actually, there's almost too many...” His eyes fell back down to the rosary he clutched as he choked back a spine shuddering sob.

“So is it strange to feel so alone?” In the quiet church, he could only hope nobody heard him as the statue gazed down at his shuddering form knelt on the floor. Of course they wouldn’t understand what he was saying, but it wasn’t exactly difficult to deduce what was going on.

“I can make lots of friends, but they never stay. It’s getting very lonely and I’m starting to worry.” He let out an exhausted sigh as his eyes fell back onto the flowers before the statue, still laughing at him that he thought he had a chance. But now he was well aware that there really was no hope of it.

“I was hoping I could get my own family,” he stuttered, “But now I'm not so sure. I don’t know what to do. I thought Jane loved me... but I was wrong.” When he fell silent, he heard some whispering a little way behind him as more tears began to tumble, and when he shook a glance, Jack saw two older women sadly tutting at him. Damn it! They’d seen him. He hastily wiped his face with his sleeve, trying to hide his face in embarrassment. He was glad they wouldn’t understand the Spanish, but he still didn’t want them to see him crying like this, even if he was having a genuinely hard time. He didn’t need their pity. It was the last thing he wanted. But even though he knew he was being watched, he couldn’t stop the words from pouring past his lips. It had been far too long since he’d last admitted how he felt.

“I don't know what I'm doing with myself anymore. I’m struggling to cope and nothing seems to be getting any better. Everything just stays the same... it's hard.” He tried desperately to keep his trembling voice from failing him, but it was difficult to stop the words getting caught in his throat. He hated it: being such a mess. He hated everything about it. He’d much rather just be a boring person if it meant he didn’t have to deal with this. He’d be much happier that way.

“I don't think I can take much more. And honestly... I'm scared.” His voice caught again as his chest tightened. He didn’t even attempt to hide his choked sobs as he wrapped his arms around himself, wishing it would just stop.

“I wish you were still here. You’d know just what to say, you always did. I really miss you mama. I wish you could come back. I wish we could just go home.” By now he was a mess, hunched over on the floor as he quietly wept. He just wanted to be like other people: normal, with a family, and not having to face everything alone. Back in Puerto Rico, things had been so much simpler. Living on a farm in the mountains, playing with his friends in the lake, endless summers to warm your heart and body. It was perfect. But now things were so much more complicated. He used to think he’d like a more complicated life, but after arriving to England, he realised it wasn’t the most desirable thing.

He’d only been there a year when his mother passed away, and he didn’t even know English completely at that point. From then on, he seemed to be stuck in a loop of meeting people, becoming attached to them before they’d leave. It was exhausting and he could only pray for it to stop, if only for a little while.

Across the church, the women that had been watching Jack, had decided to tell Father Vincent as he finished taking confessions. The elderly man had been rather surprised to see the leerie in such a state. He knew he visited every so often to speak to his mother, but he’d never seen him get so upset before. So once everyone else had finished their prayers and left, Vincent adjusted his glasses, and went to talk to him.

Although Jack had fallen silent by this point, he didn’t notice the priest’s footsteps approaching from behind. He was lost in his own mind as he stared down at his mother’s rosary, wrapping and unwrapping it from his hand while he thought. It was only when Vincent cleared his throat, that Jack faced him.

“Are you alright there?” He asked softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jack’s words were a massive contradiction to his appearance. His eyes were red from crying the tears that had stained his face. He was much more tired than usual and slouched where he sat, keeping his head low, not wanting to look Vincent in the eye any longer, for fear that he couldn’t keep it together in front of such a nice man.

With some difficulty, Vincent joined Jack, sitting by his side on the stone floor. It wasn’t particularly comfortable, but it made it easier for them to talk.

“Those are nice flowers,” he commented, spotting them by the statue, “she would’ve loved them.” Jack didn’t respond, he was filling up again as he thought of his mother. He turned away with a sniffle as he bit back a sob, and quickly wiped the tears from his eyes again.

“Rough day?” Jack nodded and sighed.

“Just been feeling a bit lonely is all. It’s nothing. Look, I should just go.” With a heavy breath, he went to stand, but Father Vincent grabbed his hand, stopping him.

“Forgive me, but, if you’re feeling lonely, surely the best thing to do is to talk to someone. And you know you’re always welcome here.” Jack seemed hesitant at first, but Vincent’s warm and welcoming eyes willed him to stay.

“So, what’s been on your mind?” Jack sighed as he tried to gather his problems into words, which was quite a challenge when they felt so overwhelming.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot about how many people I’ve lost. I can’t seem to hold on to my friends for very long. I lost another one today, you see. They all move on and I’m left behind trying to find new friends. It’s just something that makes you feel like you’ve got nobody at all.”

“Have you told anyone this?”

“No.” Vincent gave Jack’s hand a comforting squeeze and smiled.

“You know, if you share more with them, you might be able to hold a stronger bond with them. Friends don’t just share the good times, they share hardships as well. You’ll feel much better if you talk to them about this sort of thing, and you’ll be much closer.” Vincent knew for a fact that no matter how close you become with your friends, it’ll never be the same bond as with a family. Families are unique and can never be replaced. He couldn’t even imagine what Jack would be feeling to have lost so much. But that doesn’t mean that having friends won’t help. Everyone needs someone to rely on.

“Surround yourself with kind people. People that care about you. The friends that you can trust enough to share your hardships with will never leave you.” For the first time since he’d arrived, Jack felt a smile creep over his face. It wasn’t one of his usual ones. He was still hurting. But he was very happy that someone had heard him and cared. It was much welcomed company as they sat watching the flickering candles. Even when they didn’t speak. It was nice to have someone there. It was nice not to be so lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear thins chapter got more depressing every time I edited it. Oh well, see you next week!


	8. Cut Out

When Angus heard that Jack was on the roof, he wasn’t particularly surprised. Now this is not because Jack was one for overreacting when times are hard, and he’d certainly never threatened suicide before, but he liked to go up there to think. He seemed to find it much easier to gather his thoughts while listening to the general din of London below him, while the breeze rushed through his hair. He went up there quite regularly, really. 

So when Angus went up there to check on him, things were just as normal. The fence was made up of metal posts placed at regular intervals around the roof edge. Two bars looped around them all; one going around the posts about half way up, and one running along the top. This was ideal for Jack to sit comfortably. He could dangle his feet over the edge of the building and rest his arms and head over the fence’s lowest rung. And just as usual, that was exactly what he’d done.

The afternoon rumble of passing trains, cars and people roared up from the streets below as Angus joined Jack, sitting against the fence. The first thing he noticed was that he looked tired. He could barely hold his bloodshot eyes open as he slumped against the railings. It was unusual to see him so drained. Normally, he was singing and dancing from the moment he woke up at the crack of dawn, till the second he got to bed under the not-so-starry night.

The next unusual thing was how long it had been since anyone had seen him. Yesterday, a few of them had seen him to tell him that the Banks children were looking for him, but for the rest of the day, nobody saw him. He didn’t come to the pub that evening, even though they always did on the weekends, and after today’s morning route, he seemed to have gone into hiding at his flat all day. So in reality, maybe it was quite surprising to see him up on the roof.

Jack didn’t say a word while Angus sat with him. He didn’t want to. Normally, he was the one looking after the other leeries. It was never the other way around. He didn’t really want anyone to see him so upset. Enough people already had and it was absolutely humiliating. But then again, as Father Vincent’s words rattled about in his head, it was becoming harder not to speak his mind, especially after what had happened that morning. Maybe showing a little anger wouldn’t be as awkward as sadness?

“You alright?” Jack sighed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out an envelope, before passing it to Angus.

“This came this morning.” When Angus opened the envelope, he nearly passed out at the sight of a whole ten pounds. He’d never imagined someone would give away so much money.

“Oh my god! Who gave you this?!”

“There’s a note in it.” Angus spotted the piece of paper sitting behind the money and carefully pulled it out to read:

‘Hey Jack. Sorry you saw that yesterday. Maybe this can put us back on good terms. We could have some real fun. I know what you’re like~  
-Jane’  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
“Is she seriously trying to pay you?”

“Yep.” He was disgusted. What the hell was she doing?!

“You know, she got the kids to send me some flowers from her yesterday, to say she was sorry about Friday. Apparently, she still liked me.” There was a bitterness in his voice that Angus had never heard before, and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it, “When I went to find her, she was making out with another guy.”

“And now, she wants to pay you for a night together?” Jack sighed,

“Yeah, I guess the best thing I can hope to be, in her eyes, is a poor and desperate prostitute. The only reason why she was nice to me in the first place was probably just to look good for SPRUCE. I’m just a novelty.” Angus simply couldn’t believe it. He was at a loss for words. When he’d first met Jane, he thought she was a lovely woman, he’d have never believed she would do this. And as he looked at Jack, he could tell it had seriously hurt him. But then, he broke the silence.

“I’m going to do my own route tonight.”

“Wait, what?! Jack,” He asked cautiously, “What are you planning?”

“I’m sick of being a novelty. I’ve got a few things I want to say to her.” As Jack rose from his place to head back inside, Angus was just as quick to jump up and practically dived after him.

“Hang on! Are you sure about this? It might not be such a good idea! Have you even thought this through?” He didn’t respond, “Come on Jack! She’s only going to make you feel worse.”

“No! I’ve had enough of it. I’ve spent way too long moping around and changing my own life to avoid her, while she tears across London working her hardest to make me feel worse. It’s not that she doesn’t care, she hates me. And it’s about time I put a stop to it myself.”

“Ok... if you’re sure.” It was certainly a surprise to see him so fired up, once more walking with purpose, but that didn’t stop Angus from worrying. Jack cared about people a lot, even if he tried not to show it. Despite trying to show he didn’t care about Jane anymore, it still didn’t stop the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach, warning him that Jane would know exactly what to say and do to upset him. However, it was far too late to stop him. Jack was determined. And when he got like this, he would always see things through. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t look out for him.

A few hours later, across town, sat Jane in 17 Cherry Tree Lane. She came over for Sunday dinner just as normal, but she wasn’t quite as cheerful as normal. She sat in the parlour looking out the window at the unlit lamp outside. When she had arrived at the house, the children had said Jack went to speak to her yesterday, but the problem was, Esther had been in control from the early afternoon, to that very morning. She hadn’t written what she’d been up to in the notebook (it seemed she’d given up on that idea entirely), so Jane was completely clueless as to what could’ve happened.

When she thought about it, it was pretty clear that Esther was beginning to control her life completely. She seemed to be the only one who ever got to talk to Jack. In fact, it must’ve been about a week since she spoke to Jack as herself. It was agonising. And since he’d switched routes with Angus, she had no way of knowing where he was in the day if he wasn’t at his flat- and most of the time, he wasn’t.

It was all just getting so complicated. She wanted to tell someone about Esther, she really did. If someone could understand and help her, she’d be eternally grateful. But unfortunately, the chance of that happening was incredibly slim. She’d just be labelled as a mad woman with multiple personalities and end up stuck in an asylum. And that was the last thing she needed. So until she could figure it out herself, she was stuck, and progress in figuring it out herself was not just slow, but it was non-existent. She had no idea what was going on or how to stop it.

“Dinner’s ready!” Ellen’s call from the dining room, rang all throughout the house, quickly gathering everyone to the table. The hearty roast dinner had an enchanting smell that wafted through the room, but Jane found it rather difficult to focus on and enjoy it. She couldn’t think of much more than the mess she was in, and didn’t contribute at all to the table’s conversation. She was vaguely aware of what they were talking about: something along the line of their weirdest school experiences, but that was all she knew. So she wasn’t exactly prepared when Michael asked,

“What about you Jane?”

“Oh, well...” Then she noticed it. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a light come on outside the parlour window. She turned to look at the leerie that now stood on their ladder, illuminated by its warm glow. She’d recognise that face anywhere.

“Excuse me.” She dropped her napkin on the table and stood up, much to the surprise of Michael and the children, before racing outside to talk before he left. As she got outside into the autumn night, Jack had just finished loading his ladder back onto his bike, when he spotted her.

“Jack! Jack! Look, we really need to talk.” When the leerie turned to face her, he held a look she’d never seen before. He was almost always smiling, and on the rare occasion he wasn’t, it was usually because he was concentrating on something important. This, however, was something else entirely: shame, sadness, pain and anger all rolled into one. Whenever their eyes met in the past, she had run to him, but now, it was talking all her will not to run from him. His eyes were ablaze. There was something of a determined fire behind them, that bore into her soul without remorse. She wished she could run. She’d never been scared of him before.

“Yeah,” he spat, “we do.”

“Look, I’m really sorry about Friday. I didn’t mean to leave you waiting, but I just messed up some things. I know I should’ve been there. I’m sorry.”

“And that’s all you’ve done?” He asked rhetorically, “I think you’ve missed some other things there.” Ooooh God, what had Esther done now?

“You know, the kids brought a lovely bouquet from you. They said that you wanted to talk to me to work things out. They said you liked me. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw you making out with some other guy after work.” He snapped bitterly. Jane was certainly a little shocked that he’d seen something like that, and as she tried to explain herself, all that came out was a load of stuttered nonsense.

“Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to be lead on like this?”

“I’m- I’m sorry.” She tried, but it wasn’t nearly enough.

“Do you love him?” Jane stared in shock at his question. She didn’t even know who the guy was.

“I- no! Of course not!”

“So I’m so worthless that you can just mess around while you lead me on? Why am I just a joke to you?” Jane desperately tried to assure him that she loved him, but no matter how hard she tried, nothing was coming out.

“I’m sick of just being your novelty! I’m a human being, not just some prize to make you look better for SPRUCE. Why can’t you just stop messing with me?!” He choked on his words as he tried to keep it together. He refused to be weak in front of her. Not now. But Jesus, it was hard to stop himself from welling up. Why was it so difficult to just be angry?!

“I don’t get it. Did I do something wrong?” His pleading eyes were like a puppy’s, desperate for some kind of answer. Something, anything to explain why on earth she’d been acting like this.

“Of course not! This is all my fault! We can work this out!”

“No, I can’t stand it anymore. And I refuse to spend my life trying to live up to your ridiculous expectations. You’ll never change. All you can ever do is makes promises and let me down.”

“But- but- no. WAIT! I can explain! I just- I-“

“Shut up!” His tears were gently dripping down his face in painful frustration. Wiping them away with the ball of his hand, his voice trembled as he released an exhausted sigh,

“I’m not letting you do this to me again.” He was silent. “I’m done.” Jane was stunned, she couldn’t speak as he turned to his bike to go.

“Oh, and one last thing,” he reached into his pocket, pulling out the envelope and tossing it to her, “I don’t want your money. I’m not your prostitute. Now leave me alone.” With that, he pushed off on his bike without looking back.

“Oh my God...” Jane was horrified. She stared after him, and with a sudden fear of losing him, bolted down the road after Jack.

“WAIT! NO! PLEASE! COME BACK! DON’T GO!” But he didn’t listen. Even though he was fighting an urge to cry, he meant what he said, he wasn’t going back to her. It was over.

Jane got to the end of the street when she finally stopped. Her heart was aching as she watched him leave. She didn’t know she’d done that! It wasn’t her fault! Esther was the one who did it all! She loved him. She was so close to being with him. And now, everything had been completely screwed up. She hated it so much. Why couldn’t Esther just leave her life alone?!

The silence of the night settled once again. Why did this have to happen? She couldn’t hold it back anymore. As her lip quivered, she finally broke down sobbing, burying her face in her hands as she stood in the middle of the empty street. She wished she could’ve done something different, something to really show she was sorry. But what could she expect?! Jack wasn’t going to believe her. He thought she did this. He hated her. And now, the best thing that she could hope for was for Esther to leave him alone. She’d ruined their relationship. She won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was a little later than usual. I’ve been dealing with a little incident this afternoon. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I’ll see you all again next week!


	9. Words, Words, Words

“Careful... careful... THERE!” It was perfect! Georgie sat back from his work, proudly beaming. He’d spent the last hour making a clay sculpture of a dog in his art lesson, and his hard work had finally paid off. It was a bit more like a wonky sausage with legs and a worm on it’s bum, but it was made with love and that was what mattered.

RING RING! As the school bell echoed through the building, Miss Golde nearly had a heart attack. She’d completely lost track of the time.

“Alright everyone, pack up, we can get these painted next time.” Grabbing his bag and racing out of the classroom, he was able to get to John and Annabel’s classes just in time to meet them as they left.

“Hello!” He chirped, skipping alongside the twins. He was in such a cheerful mood over his wonky dog, that he hadn’t even realised they were already having a conversation, and a rather serious one too.

“Did you see her when she came in afterwards? She was so upset.”

“I didn’t see that, but I heard them outside. It sounded pretty bad. She kept saying she was sorry.”

“Do you think he’ll come back? What if we don’t get to see him again?!”

“What are you talking about?” The twins eyes shot to Georgie, as if they hadn’t even noticed he was there. For a moment, they didn’t speak, as they wondered if it was a good idea to tell Georgie. After all, he tended to have a habit of overreacting to this sort of thing.

“We were just talking about Jack and Aunt Jane.”

Georgie’s face fell, “Oh.” He’d heard it too. When Jane dashed off during dinner, they’d all heard shouting. they’d only been able to properly make out a few bits and pieces, but he’d been rather surprised to hear that Jane had been being so nasty to Jack. After hearing it, it had also prompted him to find out what a prostitute was, but Dad wouldn’t tell him. When Jane came back, she’d been crying a lot. Georgie had watched from the landing and saw firsthand how badly upset she was. It didn’t look like their plan had worked. Things between Jane and Jack had finally hit rock bottom. He just hoped they weren’t going to try to dig deeper.

“So what should we do?”

“Nothing.” John stated rather firmly, “I told you we shouldn’t get involved. But you wouldn’t listen to me. And now look what’s happened!”

“John!” Annabel warned.

“Wait..” Georgie started, “does that mean this is all our fault?”

“No no!”

“Of course not.” But before his siblings could stop him, Georgie had already run ahead. He was desperate for real answers. John and Annabel knew as much as he did on the matter, and that wasn’t a lot. He needed to talk to his Dad. Thankfully, Michael had decided to take the week off work to use up some of his holiday time, so he was able to pick the three up from school all week. Which meant Georgie didn’t have to go far to find his answers. As soon as he spotted his Father on the playground, waiting with the other parents, he bolted towards him, bombarding him with his question.

“Dad, why are Jack and Aunt Jane fighting?”

“Woah, hi. Are you alright?” He asked, noticing the tears in his eyes.

“Is it because of us? We didn’t mean to make it worse. Honest! We thought the flowers might help!” Michael was quick to try and calm him down as the twins caught up.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok.” But then he realised, “Hang on a minute. What flowers?” John and Annabel looked at each other, cringing. In the end, it was John who answered his father first.

“After she got upset with Angus, we thought if we could get her and Jack to talk, it might help. So we sent flowers to Jack and said they were from Jane to say sorry.” Michael sighed. He should’ve known they’d do something to try to help. Of course they would, they were the Banks children. He wouldn’t expect any less.

“That’s not what they’re fighting about. It’s ok. But honestly, I don’t know much of what’s going on either.” He paused for a moment as he thought how best to word himself without villainising either of them, “As far as I can tell, Jane has made some mistakes, and they’re both just having a hard time moving past it. But Jane hasn’t really said much.”

“What about Jack?” Annabel asked.

“Actually, I haven’t had a chance to speak to him in a while. I haven’t heard anything from him at all. He’s barely even been around since all this started.”

“Shouldn’t you ask him?” Honestly, he hadn’t really thought to do so. He certainly liked the idea. He hated to admit, but he was pretty curious about the whole thing too, and he wanted to know what was going on. He’d been pretty determined to give them privacy, so he hadn’t listened in on anything he wasn’t meant to hear. But seeing his only sister so upset was pretty distressing and he couldn’t understand what she could have possibly done that was so horrible. He didn’t think she’d be so cruel to Jack, but the leerie was not one to be easily offended. Whatever happened must have been rather bad to upset Jack of all people. So it was quite the mystery, and one that he really wanted to solve, despite it being none of his business.

“You know, I think I will. I’ll nip round to his flat after I drop you guys off at home. But don’t get your hopes up. He might not be there and even if he is, I still might decide that you don’t need to know.” The children all agreed, knowing it was best not to argue any further on the matter. So it was set. And as the family walked home, they couldn’t help but wonder what was going on.

“Hey Jack! There you are.” Across town, Angus had finally found the man he was looking for. Jack was cycling down Pump Street, when Angus pulled alongside him to chat. He hadn’t seen Jack since their talk on the roof and had been anxious to hear how things went.

“Did it go well?”

“Yeah, more or less. Said everything I needed to. Think she got the message.”

“How’d she take it?”

“She was crying and didn’t want me to go, as if she even cared. I really held back to be honest. I had quite a long list of things I was planning on calling her that I never used. That would’ve really given her something to cry about.” Angus chuckled to himself.

“So what are you gonna do with yourself now then?” Jack thought for a moment.

“I dunno. Probably just get on with work and take a break from women for a while.” The two laughed.

“Well, if you’re feeling down, talk to me, ok? No excuses.”

“Alright, alright. See ya later.” Jack smiled. It was nice having a friend. Much better and simpler than having a partner. As Angus cycled off to who-knows-where, Jack headed home, deciding he’d like to have a nap before making dinner. However, upon arriving back to his block of flats, he was met with an odd surprise.

The block was several floors high and instead of an enclosed corridor to get to each home, it ran around the outside of the building like a long balcony, meaning Jack could spot he had a guest waiting, right from the moment he pulled up outside.

Once he tied up his bike, Jack climbed the stairs to the third floor and headed to the third door along, now able to see that it was, in fact, Michael at his door.

“Good timing.” Michael tensed, having not noticed Jack approaching.

“Oh, hello. Yes, I suppose it is. I was just about to give up and try again later, as well. How are you?”

“Not too bad,” he said, unlocking the door, “Come on in.” As Michael entered the flat, the first thing he noticed was its size. He supposed he shouldn’t have been so surprised, a leerie’s wage couldn’t be that high, after all. The entrance lead straight into a small living-room, containing only a couch, a fireplace, a round coffee table and a bookshelf. Across from the main window was an archway leading into a rather cramped kitchen, next to a small hallway presumably to get to a bedroom and bathroom. 

Before he knew it, they were sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, while talking about all sorts of random nonsense. There was a moment where he spotted some roses on the counter. Jack simply laughed when he pointed them out. Apparently Jane sent them to apologise after last night, but he hadn’t really believed her. He was surprisingly relaxed about the whole thing. The two had been so distraught the previous night, but here he was, laughing and joking like it never happened. Well, it was probably more the fact that he was good at compartmentalising. It was at this moment Michael realised that he really needed to hang out with Jack more often; he was a funny guy. But despite that, there was a reason why he stopped by. He had a question to ask,

“So, what’s been going on with you and Jane? It seems pretty rough.” He tried to act causal but he could tell why Jack took a long sip of his coffee: he needed a moment to word himself very carefully, after all, he was talking about a fight with a girl with her brother. Michael just had to hope that wouldn’t mean he wouldn’t tell him.

“Well I don’t know how much you know, but I asked Jane out. We were going to meet on Friday, so myself and the guys put together a dinner in the park, but she didn’t show.” Each word was spoken rather slowly, as Jack tried to read Michael’s expression for a reaction. He didn’t want to anger him, he liked the guy, but he knew siblings could be protective of each other. But Michael just looked disappointed, and he almost wanted to stop. He didn’t want to upset the guy, but he urged him on anyway.

“Ok, well, then she sent some flowers and had the kids deliver ‘em. They said she was sorry and that she did want to try work things out. But when I went to talk, I found her with another guy, makin’ out. So, uh, a few mixed signals there.” Michael’s expression didn’t change even as Jack tried to force a small joke. But unfortunately, it failed to even raise the tension even slightly.

“Go on.”

“Well, the last thing before the spat, was when she sent me an envelope with a tenner in it, and a note that wasn’t worded very well.” He was feeling pretty awkward and was trying his best not to make too many accusations in front of her brother.

“What do you mean?”

“Well it, uh, was worded as if she was paying a, uh, a prostitute.” He hated saying that. It just made him feel like he was implying he actually was one. And Michael didn’t look too impressed. But he couldn’t really tell who with.

“I can’t believe it. That’s not like her at all...” 

“I know.” he sighed, “I thought she bailed on the date from nerves, or maybe I’d just been rushing. And when I caught her with the other guy, I figured she just hadn’t been interested. But I couldn’t explain the money if I tried.”

“Wow... I was sure she loved you.” He let out a frustrated sigh as he shoved his head in his hands, “She’s been acting weird for a while. She seems to just be switching between her usual self and something else, something much ruder. I don’t know what’s going on with her. She’s just... changed.”

“Yeah,” Jack mindlessly traced the rim of his cup with his finger, “and she’s not changing for the best, that’s for sure.” As the two sat talking, Michael could tell Jack was being polite. He knew for a fact that he was more upset than he was letting on and that he was holding back on his not-so-nice opinions of her. He didn’t really want to think about the two being at each other’s throats, but it seemed that was the state of their relationship. And the chance of that changing after last night’s spat, were extremely unlikely.

But he wasn’t going to lose a friend over this. Michael still liked him, and the children certainly did. He didn’t want the kids to lose a beloved family friend over an argument they were caught between. And of course, they’d want to know what was going on. There wasn’t really a way to explain it without making Jane look bad. But then again, he didn’t guarantee that he’d tell them anything, so maybe he wouldn’t need to worry. But there was one thing to worry about, a question that had plagued his mind since the conversation started: what on earth was she doing?!


	10. Sincerely

23\. That’s how many she’d bought. 23. In a month. She’d gotten one almost every day. Each one had been filled with different colours, made of different shapes, and costing different amounts. 23 bouquets. 23 apologies. In a month.

As Jane brought her 23rd bouquet to his flat, her heart was numb. For a whole month, he hadn’t spoken to her, and for the entire time, had avoided her like the Spanish Flu. She wanted to say sorry and try get onto civil terms with him again, but he never answered. Every time, she had to leave the flowers at his door. She knew he was staying at his flat and not somewhere else, since every time she came back, her previous bouquet was gone. He had to be coming back to move them. But considering he never spoke to her, he was probably just binning them.

Today’s offering was a bunch of sunflowers. Their friendly glow a great welcome on such a dreary day. Though she wasn’t sure if that would make a difference.

At exactly 5:30pm, she arrived at the flat, having left straight from work. Just as usual, yesterday’s flowers, a rather colourful selection of lilies, were gone. But just as usual, he had never tried to talk to her. She walked to the door and hopelessly knocked. No answer. She knocked again. What was the point? She knew she should just give up and accept the end, but she didn’t want to. She didn’t do this, it wasn’t her fault! Why couldn’t they just talk? Tears swelled in her eyes as she choked back a sob while covering her mouth. But then she heard footsteps. And they were definitely coming from behind the door.

“Jack?” She wept, leaning against the door, “Jack I know it’s you. Why won’t you answer? Please! I just want to talk. I’m sorry. I just want to make it up to you. Is it so much to ask?” The footsteps had ceased.

“Jack?”  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” He sounded tired and upset, disappointed that she’d returned again.

“Because I need to say sorry! Come on, open the door!”

“Well you’ve said it, so now can you just go away?” His request was harsh, but she could understand why. But still, that didn’t stop her knees from giving way, as she crumpled to the floor in a heap of broken sobs. She stayed there for a while, gathering together words in her head, still completely unsure of what to do without him by her side.

“Ok.” The word just slipped out. She didn’t want to hurt him anymore. He wanted this right? He wanted her to leave? So shouldn’t she just do that, if she really cared about him? But it was so hard! This wasn’t her fault, she shouldn’t have to do this! But there was nothing else that could be done. Nothing that could change.

“I’m so sorry.” Her words were barely audible, “I’ll go.” It took every ounce of strength to hoist herself from the floor, leaving her gift for him. She didn’t want to be there any longer, but she didn’t want to leave. More specifically, she didn’t want to leave him. And although she didn’t know, neither did he.

On the other side of the door, Jack sat with his back against the wood as he stared up at the ceiling. He wanted her to stay. But he knew how that would turn out if he were to say that. He missed Jane. The real Jane. The woman that Mary poppins had introduced him to. Not this woman. He didn’t even seem to know her. As he looked around the room at every bouquet she sent, he couldn’t help but wonder,

‘How are you doing this to me again?!’ 

Jane didn’t know what to do anymore. She’d lost the fight. She’d lost Jack. It was over. When she made it back home, the feeling had only grown. She only felt worse.

Turning on her desk lamp, she dropped down at the chair in the otherwise dark room, collecting a pen and some paper for herself. She hoped she was satisfied now.

‘Esther,

I hope you’re happy. Jack hates me now. I’ve said my final goodbyes to him so you can leave him alone, just like I’ll be doing. You’ve won. Congratulations. But you’ll never be able to be happy if you spend your entire life ruining things. He’ll be much happier now he’s not involved in this. So you can’t ruin things completely, and you can’t really win. So why don’t you just go fuck yourself!

-Jane’

Slamming the pen down on the desk, Jane held her head in her hands. Her heart beat fast as the frustration built. She didn’t even know whether or not to scream or cry. In the end, she picked a third option: taking an empty glass on the side of the desk and launching it across the room with all the strength she could manage. The glass shattered everywhere, spilling all over the floor with a loud crash as Jane stood, slightly hunched over and breathing heavily.

‘Damnit’ she thought, ‘I’m going to have to clean that up.’ But she made no move towards it. As Jane sat back down, the most she did was look at it as the rage began to dissipate. She’d never taken herself as a violent type of person, but, then again, everyone has their limits. Jane couldn’t help but wonder what else Esther had planned. She’d been so desperate to ruin her life, that she was certain this was only the beginning. Any day now, she’d begin to lose somebody else.

The thought alone was enough to send the fury fizzing through her body. Why was she doing this?! What the hell was her problem?! The anger began to boil and swell until she was purely seeing red... or... wait, black?! Black shadows danced at the edge of her vision, bringing a ring of darkness that began to consume her view. The fizzing through her veins became stronger and a surge of adrenaline screamed at her to run, though she couldn’t say how it would help. Colour drained from her face as she fought to remain conscious. No. NO! She would not give up control. But the urge to let go only grew. She didn’t even know how to stop it, so it came as no surprise when the floor began to disintegrate beneath her. NO. NO. STOP IT! But it was much too late for anything to be done. Because by the time her exhausted mind had any chance to process what was happening, she was already falling into the void below.

Ahhh. Much better. Esther yawned and stretched before looking around the room.

“Ooooh, someone’s a bit moody!” She jeered upon seeing the broken glass. It was nice to take the wheel after seeing Jane break down. The world’s spinning in chaos. Why not add a little more?

A heavy knock came at the door. Strange. It wasn’t often that Jane had visitors. As she made her way to the door, she spotted her state in the mirror. Her face was stained with tear tracks and her hair was a mess. Ew. But as she couldn’t be bothered fixing it yet, she decided it would be perfect for her plan. Why not win some pity and mess with people? It’ll be a laugh.

Upon opening the door, she was greeted with a fairly familiar sight: Jane’s work friends: Leslie and Joanna. When they saw her face, the two both gave a pitying look. Perfect. She was determined to play it up as much as possible.

“Hey...” she mumbled.

“Are you ok?” Leslie started, “I take it things didn’t go well with Jack today?” She shook her head.

“Don’t worry! There’s plenty more fish in the sea!” Joanna assured, “Come on, we wanted to see if you wanted to come out with us. It’d help you get over him.” She said suggestively. This is why she liked these two. They were always up for a party. And some devilish ideas crossed her mind at the proposition. Instead of just drinking them under the table, she could mess with them while they’re drunk. It didn’t take a second longer for her to make her final decision.

“Ok, I’ll go. Sounds fun.” She immediately ran to her bedroom, flinging open the wardrobe to put on the best dress Jane owned. A short teal dress, with some heels. Quickly fixing her hair and doing some bold makeup, she joined Joanna and Leslie, who were also dressed to party, and followed them out the door.

The night air was lovely. It was unseasonably hot even though the sun had gone down. The town was buzzing with life and to say Esther was in her element, would be the most obvious statement a person could make. She strutted down the street like she owned the place, leaving her friends to wonder how on earth she’d been such a mess before. It must’ve been a dream. Honestly, Esther did like Jack. But he wasn’t irreplaceable. At least to her he wasn’t. He was a great guy and was a lot of fun, but so where another few hundred men in this cold dead city. If things weren’t working out with Jack, she would always find someone else. And after all, it was Joanna that said there were plenty more fish in the sea. And she was absolutely right. In fact, she’d just spotted one of these fish. One that she liked the look of a lot. And of course it’d be trouble, but she loved a bit of drama.

Brown tatty hair, an old blue shirt, bottle green eyes, standing under a streetlight to presumably wait for a friend. She’d come to know the leeries quite well over the last few weeks, so she was well aware that she was looking at Joey. He was just like Jack, but a bit less innocent. He’d do just nicely. So as Joanna and Leslie entered the pub, she sauntered over to him instead.

“Hey, you.” The tired leerie’s eyes burnt the moment he laid eyes on her.

“What are you doing here?” He hissed.

“Well, I’m looking for some fun. You might’ve heard I recently lost my man. So in his absence, I’m choosing you to be his replacement!” Her theatricality was lost on him, as he shifted from his spot and walked towards her. For a second, she thought he’d try to hit her- which wouldn’t work great for him when she had heels and a fabulous aim- but he didn’t. Instead, he just stood there for a minute, gathering his words.

“I’m only gonna say this once, so I suggest you bloody well listen. We are people!” She laughed,

“I kinda gathered that.”

“We aren’t objects! We have more purpose in our lives than just pleasing you. So if you keep harassing any of the lads, especially Jack, I swear I will make you regret it.” He stalked away as soon as he finished speaking, but the moment he was out of earshot, Esther couldn’t help it any longer. She burst out laughing at her realisation. Esther hadn’t even spoken to any of them since the not-date. Which could only mean that Jane had gotten desperate and was trying to get Jack back.

“Are you coming?” Joanna’s head poked out from the pub, looking for her.

“Yeah, give me a second.” That was enough for Joanna to go back inside so Esther could finish laughing at Jane’s misfortune. She was never going to be able to get a man again, or even be able to walk down the street without getting dirty looks from everyone. But that was hardly going to be her problem. So without any further thought, she headed back inside. If Jane wanted to send 23 bouquets, then she’d have 23 shots.


	11. The Beginning Of Something New

Today was not a good day for Jane Banks. She was currently sat on the floor next to the toilet having spent the morning being sick. And it wasn’t due to a hangover. No, that was yesterday’s problem. Today’s problem was much worse. But she didn’t know that... yet.

She tried hard to think what it could be. It wasn’t like she’d caught some bug from her food, the meal was perfectly tame and cooked by herself. It’s not like she’d had anymore alcohol since Friday and she’d already passed the hangover. Then a thought crossed her mind. Could it be her period? She was due.

It took a good deal of strength to get up and look at her calendar, but when she did, she noticed something rather terrifying. She was well overdue: over two weeks. How had she missed that? Realising this could be serious, she grabbed a coat and headed out to see a doctor. She absolutely had to get tested.

Walking in the rain didn’t make much of a difference as she strode through the streets. What if her fears were true? What if? What if? Although Jane herself hadn’t done anything, Esther would’ve. She was happy to go to bed with anyone willing. It made her cringe at how many people could’ve potentially seen her naked because of this. She tried not to assume anything, just to avoid a panic, at least while she was in public. But inside, she was ready to scream. If this was really really real, how the hell was she supposed to look after it?!

Upon arriving at the clinic, she was met with cream walls, a quiet waiting room and a receptionist who was rather tired of dealing with purely elderly patients. So the lady was a lot happier to see someone who was less inclined to complain about every last thing that happened to them. Posters lined the wall about the plethora of illnesses that could be ailing the patients and advice on how to live to avoid them. A few magazines lay at the side of the room, but as Jane sat down, she didn’t really want to take one. She instead chose to sit, bouncing her leg anxiously and biting her nails- a terrible habit that she just couldn’t seem to give up no matter how hard she tried. Sitting there for so long was starting to seriously drain her. Why couldn’t things just hurry along a bit more? She was desperate! She breathed a heavy sigh of relief when, finally, she was called through to the office.

The office itself was much more complicated than the waiting room had been. Various medical posters lined the walls, covered in confusing charts and diagrams full of words she didn’t understand. Cupboards and cabinets and drawers were filled with scary equipment that was way too sharp and pointy for her liking. The doctor himself wasn’t particularly welcoming either. He had a resting scowl and a balding head. Sharp rectangular glasses sat atop the bridge of his large nose as he looked through a book of some kind, writing down a note. The name tag on his jacket held his name in a serious blocky font: Dr Simon Glass.

She took a seat and waited for him to speak, feeling rather unsure of herself.

“Jane Banks, is it?” His nasally voice cut through the otherwise deathly silent room like a steak knife.

“Yes it is.”

“Ok then,” he wrote it in then put the pen down, “what seems to be the problem?” She hadn’t thought about it, but she’d never even said it to herself. She knew what the problem was, it was in the back of her mind, she could see it! But for some reason, saying it out loud was different. As if she was accepting it to be true, and she really really didn’t want that. She was absolutely not prepared for that.

“I think I’m pregnant.” For some reason, she expected him to be surprised. As if he would know her circumstances and why a pregnancy would be weird. But of course he didn’t. He just saw a woman that’d been trying for a baby and was finally having success. He even smiled at her, suddenly changing personalities entirely. As if a baby was the least annoying thing he could deal with in a day.

“Well then, let’s take a look.” The procedure was simple. He took a urine sample and ran his test, leaving Jane to sit and wait not-so-patiently. Her nerves were almost enough to make her whole body vibrate. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to know anymore. Part of her was screaming the answer in her head, but she didn’t want to believe it. Not now. It couldn’t happen now.

“Alright, Miss Banks,” He said, taking a seat at his desk once more, “I have the results.” He was smiling. Oh god no, he was smiling! Don’t say it! Don’t say! Please, oh God, don’t say it!

“Congratulations, you’re pregnant!” 

The whole world froze.

No.

NO!

Would screaming be an appropriate reaction? Because she wanted to. But that would probably scare the man, or make him worry about her. And she definitely didn’t need him getting involved in her well being and joining the fight against herself. But still, she couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes. She tried to pass it off as happiness and left as quickly as she could.

Pregnant.

Shit.

She wasn’t ready for this! She had no way to care for it. She’d be at work all day! She couldn’t afford other people to look after it. And what did this mean about a father? Was it Jack? Had Esther slept with anyone else? Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t mind if Jack was the father of her baby, but now that he hated her... How was she going to tell him? Surely it would only look like a desperate plea to get him back in her life. She couldn’t force that on him! And what if the father was someone else? Sure, she wouldn’t have to worry about her awful relationship with Jack, but to know she’d slept with a stranger... she’d never know the father. Could she really do that?

And what about the baby? There were only really three options. She didn’t want to cause a miscarriage. The very idea made her sick to her stomach, maybe that was the baby trying to protest. The other option was to hope for a natural miscarriage, but she could hardly rely on that method. Which left one option. Carry the baby, give birth and then either put it up for adoption or raise it herself. She couldn’t raise a child alone, that would just be impossible. And there was no way she’d be able to look at it and not think about how they came into the world: by someone who just wanted to ruin her life for the fun of it. And the child would only ever be a product of that mission to her. But then again, would she be able to part with it if she saw the pregnancy through?

A million thoughts flooded her head at once. It’s not like she didn’t want kids. She’d love to have them one day. Emphasis on the ‘one day’. She just didn’t want them now. Not in these circumstances. It wasn’t right. She’d never be able to look after it. And god only knows what would happen when her family found out. It’s not like she could hide this forever. They’d eventually see the bump. And if she hid for nine months, she’d still have a son or daughter to keep hidden for another 18 years after that! It would be impossible! She’d be completely trapped. Her whole life was over.

Trekking back into her flat, she removed her hat and coat, but as she passed the full length mirror in the hall, she couldn’t help but look. Turning to the side, she watched her stomach, as if she’d somehow see something there despite it being so early. But just knowing something was in there was weird enough. A something that would pretty quickly become a someone. Placing a hand against her abdomen, she couldn’t help but feel a slight connection. This was her baby. A baby she should love and cherish. Why did she want to get rid of it?

At this point, the world had had enough of being calm, and threw something entirely new at her. When she looked back to the mirror, her reflection had changed. It was still her, but she was not happy. A suspicious frown lay on her lips as her arms were crossed over her chest.

“Esther?! What- how- what are you doing?!”

“I could ask the same of you.” She spluttered for an answer, but instead decided against it. This was her life. She was in control. Especially now. And she had much more important questions to ask.

“I need you to tell me every person you’ve slept with in my body, right now.” 

“What?! Why?!” Esther was appalled as her arms dropped from her chest in surprise.

“I swear to God, you need to tell me right now. This is not some petty thing, this could actually change both of our lives in a very big way, so I suggest you give me a fucking answer!” She tried to play it cool, but couldn’t help the rage boiling in her chest.

“Ok, ok. I swear I’ve only been with Jack. I never went further than a touching with anyone else.” Her heart sank and her head fell into her hands.

“I was afraid you’d say that.”

“Why?” She was silent for a moment as Esther’s quizzical eyes gazed upon her.

“I’m pregnant.”  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
“What?” Esther had lost all the colour in her face as her hands instinctively raised from her sides to hold her abdomen. She was clearly not keen on the idea, and found herself coming close to hyperventilation. Her thundering heart beat her ribs and knocked against her frantic lungs.

“Well- well- we can get rid of it! You just say the word and and I’ll punch us and kill it!”

“No! We’re not doing that. I haven’t thought what to do really. But I don’t want to kill it.”

“Come on! It’s hardly worth calling it a living thing!”

“I said no!” She commanded, crossing her arms, “You might not always listen to me, but you will with this. It’s a lot more serious than parties and men. So you aren’t going to do anything unless I say so. This is Jack’s baby as much as mine, so you will not harm it. Got it?” Esther remained quiet, like a sulking child. With a petulant sigh, she nodded her head.

As Jane watched her, she couldn’t disguise the boiling rage. Esther just seemed to be standing there sulking, as if she didn’t deserve to be in trouble. It was pathetic! Didn’t she realise how serious this was?! She didn’t even realise when her hand balled into a fist. Just as Esther once did, she raised her arm. Her reflection still sulked, but when she finally noticed the anger, she was caught off guard a bit. The same worlds circled within her. This is her fault. This is her fault. This is her fault. SHE did this to me! And although she wouldn’t remember doing it, she remembered the pain. Ice cold shrapnel embedded into her hand as the remaining pieces fell in a synchronised storm to become buried in the carpet, cutting her for days whenever she stepped on them accidentally. The blood painted the mirror where the remaining pieces displayed a myriad of reflections, highlighting every detailed inch of her rage. And it was terrifying.

When did she become so violent?

Although she couldn’t say she agreed with her response-or could she?- it had worked. Esther was gone. Broken into a million pieces and scattered on the floor. But she was still in her head, mocking her for losing her temper. Such an outburst was rather unnatural for a woman of her kind. But Esther loved it. She could feel the rush of adrenaline she felt. The pride. The excitement. That wasn’t her. It was all Esther, she was sure of it. Jane knew she’d never be like that. Of course not. She wasn’t evil. She was just the opposite. So when Esther tried to encourage her to do more, she paid no mind. She’d never do what Esther says. She was above her. And Jane rarely felt she was above anyone.

Something inside felt rather strange. Although she’d dealt with Esther, she could feel the child inside her asking what she’d do about it. And honestly, she didn’t know. How on earth was she meant to keep something like this hidden? And Jack. Could she deny him his child? And if she did, wouldn’t they question their lack of a father as they grew up? Someone would notice. It was certain. She’d be found out and be forced to face a world that knew her life had fallen apart. And God forbid if she tried to blame it on the voice in her head that did bad things. She’d be a loony! And they’d lock her up as soon as physically possible. Maybe Esther was right. Maybe she should get rid of it. It was only going to make things worse with Jack anyway. But even though her logic screamed at her, something maternal was lighting up. She couldn’t do it. It was the beginning of a new life. She couldn’t stop that. This was her baby.


	12. Needs Must When The Devil Drives

‘Dear Jane,

I thought about what we should do. I am more than happy to complicate most lives, but I understand the severity of our situation. I still need you if I want to have fun. So I promise not to harm the child unless you so wish. 

However,  
This is my life just as much as it is yours. So while I know I can’t be the only one to make the decision, I at least should get to have my say taken into consideration. And personally, I don’t think you should keep the child. It will ruin us both. And you may choose to have it adopted, but, since you’re now without a father, you’re probably going to want me to deal with it.

After all, I think things might be a bit too hot for Jack to handle...  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
20 past twelve. It had been raining for the last hour, but had finally let up. Halfway across town in a small dingy flat, one man was in another world. Jack sat on his bed, right by the window, reading one of the best crime thriller novels he’d ever come across. He should’ve been asleep really, but he couldn’t help getting caught up in such a good book. And anyway, by this point, there’d be no point going to bed. He’d only get a couple of hours before he’d need to start his route. He could catch up during the day. It’s not like he had anything else to do that day.

Adjusting his reading glasses, he turned the page,

‘Beckett ducked and dived through the tunnel, his heart racing. Just a small way down, he could hear him talking. Magpie. He rushed to the tunnel’s end, half basking in the room’s light, half still hidden in the tunnel’s shadow. There he stood, the man that had killed his wife. And now, he’d finally have his revenge. Taking his gun, he raised his arm and took aim, trying to slow his breathing until he was finally ready. Finally still. Slower. Slower. Slower. His pointed finger reached to the trigger, pulling back with all it’s might and-‘

Uuuugh. Damnit. A large smudge on the lens of his glasses was becoming unbearable. Jack pulled off the frames, in a hurry to get back to his book, but he couldn’t find the cloth for them. And he didn’t particularly like using anything else; most fabrics wouldn’t wipe away smudges, they’d just turn them into huge streaks, which were even more annoying. After one final check around the room, he decided he must have left it in the kitchen, but as he approached the bedroom door, he noticed something much more important.

A roaring crackle was rumbling through the door, like a snoring beast had settled in his living room, and as he set his hand on the door knob, he half expected the beast to notice. He half expected the beast to charge as soon as it spotted him opening the door. But once he saw this beast, Jack realised, the beast was already awake. It had never been asleep. And it wasn’t a creature like most. This thing was much worse. Red dancing lights, licking up the walls with a powerful heat to melt the skin off one’s bones if they were to run their fingers through the soft tufts of smoky fur or against its flaming skin. For this was no beast. This was fire. A fire that was eating his house.

The colour drained from his face as he took in the scene. Flames had erupted from his front door, lavishing the walls in thick black smoke, staining them in its destructive art. Ravishing the few furnishings he had, it was hungry for more. But as Jack longed for it not to approach him, he knew he was trapped. Being on the third floor of the building, his only escape had been the front door, which, in its current state, no longer even looked like a door, but rather, a gateway to hell.

No!

No!

This couldn’t be happening! Immediately, he slammed the door shut, desperate to put any kind of barricade between him and the flames, even if it was only wooden. His hands shot to his head, running through his hair and pulling, hoping to some sort of god that this was all just some kind of cruel nightmare that he had to wake himself from. But he didn’t wake up. It was real. All of it. Even the smoke seeping through from underneath the door was real.

Wait. What?!

Racing to his wardrobe, Jack yanked out the first jacket he could grab, and shoved it up against the door to block the smoke. It wouldn’t be much use if the fire reached the door, but it would have to do. As he desperately tried to think what the hell he was meant to do next, he couldn’t help it when his hands began to shake. The sense of panic was making it difficult to breath and was even worse than the smoke. Tears were pooling in his eyes as he wondered: was he going to die here? A thumping reverberated around him. He was completely unsure if that was part of the roof collapsing, or if it was his own heart beat. But either way, if it was making that sound, it couldn’t be good. He was panting desperately as he tried to hold onto any logical train of thought. He had to something! He couldn’t just wait to die. Think! Think!

The window! He dived across the room, flinging it open, just hoping that someone was out there. Down in the street below, he could see a few people, not many, but it would do.

“HELP!” He leant out the window, frantically waving his arms to get their attention.

“HELP! MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE! I’M TRAPPED!” The people below looked up, horrified. While one man rushed off to find a phone and call for help, the others could only mill around and watch as Jack frantically waved and shouted out his window.

He only ducked back inside when he felt things getting pretty hot behind him. The poor leerie wished with all his heart that nothing was going any more wrong, but upon turning around, he was faced with his bedroom door- well, he was actually faced with the fire that had dressed the door in their groping flames. And it was encroaching further.

His head helplessly fluttered between the window and the fire, hoping someone would come to help him. But all that was happening, was the people down below getting proof of the situation, as smoke began to billow from the window. The room was filling fast, with more smoke being produced than what could escape out the window. It was floating around the room and binding to his skin, clinging to his throat and filling his lungs. As his breathing became more laboured, he could’ve sworn the flames began to rush to surround him. But he couldn’t really say, because by that point, the smoke had already blinded him with a thick smoggy cloud.

Closer. Closer. Closer. The flames kept getting closer. Part of him just wanted to scream: go away! But of course it wouldn’t listen. They surrounded him. Pulled in tighter. Prepared to ambush. There was nowhere left to run. He could hear people shouting outside. Had a crowd gathered? A whole crowd of people and yet nothing could be done. There was screaming coming from outside. Or was that him? It hadn’t even registered that the flames were reaching out to him. And once they took a hold of him, they refused to let go.

Flickering fire grabbing, touching, groping, scratching. Peeling skin away from his body. Eating everything available to it and ebbing away at the edges. Hissing burns tore through his throat, ripping agonised screams that couldn’t even come close to expressing his pain. Red. Yellow. Orange. White. All over him. Pulling. Tearing. Hurting. Getoffgetoffgetoff! He tried to pat himself down, but he was already engulfed in the raging colours. His racing heart thundered in his ears as his lungs twisted and constricted in his chest, being repeatedly beaten against his aching ribs. He wanted to cry. He was in enough pain to cry enough tears to quench the hungry flames, but the fire burned too hot. He could feel the water sizzling and drying on his cheeks. Wild eyes flashed to each tendril gently wrapping their way up his arms, legs, chest, neck. Squeezing. Choking. He continued to shout but the world had grown deaf to his cries.

Then a flash. For an eternal second, he could’ve sworn everything went white. He saw home. Puerto Rico. His small home on the coffee farm and his best friends. Miguel was jumping into the lake. Then he saw Abuela Carmi making dinner for them all: Abuelo, Tios, primos, Mamá. He saw the letter from his father and the ship that brought them to England. He saw him leave and saw Mamá die. He saw the leeries, Mary Poppins, Bert, the Banks family. Even Jane, as she cried in the street, begging him to come back. Had his life really been a good one?

But then she came. Mamá stood right in front of him. Her kind eyes pitied his state. He didn’t even want to know what’s he must look like in his sundered state.

“Mamá,” his voice was barely broke above a whisper as the pain stole his voice.

“Duele. Por favor. Ayuadame.” She teared up at the sight of his pain, and carefully, reached out to him.

“Vamos, cariño.” The moment his hand entwined with hers, everything stopped. The agony seemed to wash away. The fire seemed to dissipate. In those eternal moments, he was safe. Everything was ok. She was here. She knew what to do to make it all better. She always knew. And now, it was finally over. As he stared into her nebulous eyes, the whole world seemed to right itself.

“Está bien. Podemos ir a casa ahora.”  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
‘I don’t suppose you’ll be too happy about this.’

The cries had fallen silent when they got past the door.

‘But you must understand my thinking.’

The flames had finally been put out after far too long in their opinion. Far too long.

‘Without a father, you cannot raise a child.’

But as they entered the ash filled flat, they couldn’t help but hope they’d come in time.

‘Of course I will wait for you to tell me when to deal with it, after all, I’m not a monster. ‘

They could tell it had been arson. No fire would start at a door, otherwise. But who would do this? Why?

‘Just say when.’

The firemen cautiously checked around the flat, hoping beyond hope to find any source of life.

‘Just say when, and I’ll do it. ‘

Everything once loved had been covered in a thick black layer of dust and left half melted where they sat in their rightful places.

‘You know I will.’

The bedroom was the final place to check. They’d done this job for years, but they could never get used to facing what they were about to face.

‘And if you don’t, you may find I’ll have to... persuade you.’

The firemen entered, not even noticing that they stepped on a pair of reading classes discarded on the floor, crushing them immediately.

‘I hope you know it’s nothing personal, in fact, I rather liked the guy. It’s a shame, really.’

They didn’t really want to see it. But there it was.

‘But it had to be done.’

When they arrived, there wasn’t much very much for the paramedics to work on.

‘Needs must when the devil drives.’

“Time of death: 12:31.”

‘Sincerely,  
Esther Jones.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I suppose this isn’t very festive, huh? Well I’ll be posting a Christmas oneshot on the 24th, so I’ll see you then!


	13. The Sunflower Boy

So. She’d heard the news. Of course she had. It was impossible to avoid. Jane had sat for several hours, staring at the letter that had been left for her. She didn’t want to believe it. When she heard of the fire, she had wished it wasn’t Esther’s doing, but of course it was. Why on earth would it be anyone else? She was numb. This had all gone too far. She should’ve done something. Anything. Just something different. It could’ve been the difference between life and death. But no. She’d been too selfish and let Esther have countless opportunities to roam freely across London.

Obviously the kids found out rather quickly. Everyone had tried to keep it from them, a least for a bit. But they were smart, just like their mother, and crafty too. Of course they’d find out. But although they’d deliberately done so, that didn’t make it hurt any less. There had been a torrent of tears, flooding the room with their grief and sorrow. And as the water level rose, they had all found it rather difficult to keep their heads above the water. But after 2 dreadful nights, they finally fell silent. And that’s how they stayed.

The leeries had heard too. They were some of the first people to get over to the flat. Many of them had threatened to run in and bring him out themselves, but they’d been held back by the police. Anyone could tell they felt guilty. But not much could be done about it. She could only watch as the leeries walked Jack’s route, tying flowers to each lamp as they went. Sunflowers. His favourite. Their songs had gone along with their smiles. The whole of London had seen the shift. And in times like this, they knew not to bother them. The leeries had lost the light in their hearts. And with that, London went dark.

As Jane sat by the fire in her childhood home, she’s remembered the boy who waved to her through the window. The charm of his smile bringing joy to her day every time. She used to sneak out to speak to him, and had been caught numerous times. Of course her father hadn’t approved, but that made it all the more fun. To fight against the system and be with her love. But eventually, of course, life happened. They grew up. Jane moved away to go to school before she got her own flat and a job. Jack seemed to disappear too, following another ambition before returning when the slump hit. And when he came back, he couldn’t find her.

It was Mary who brought them together again, and it was like they were staring over. They’d both changed so much. They both had a million secrets for each other to discover and surprises to present on grey days. She couldn’t stop the smile creeping over her face as she recalled the time Jack had found and repaired her father’s old watch that she’d lost a month prior. And the way his eyes had lit up so much when she surprised him with a homemade Spanish meal.

Even when Esther came along, they’d clung to one another for so long. Only breaking apart when they physically couldn’t hold on any more. She thought he’d be safe. She thought.

As Michael and Ellen came out to the hall, the children appeared, dragging their feet as they trudged down the stairs. It wasn’t right to see them wearing black. And they didn’t suit the frowns they wore. But there they all were, in a matching lack of colours, ready as they’ll ever be to lay their friend to rest.

“Right then. Let’s be off.” Michael’s words attempted to sound encouraging, maybe even a little light. But as the words took a tumble past his lips, so did the tone, sounding tired and miserable and the furthest thing possible from cheery. 

They shuffled out into the street to face the lamp outside, its warm glow bathing them in a bittersweet nostalgia. The service was to be held at 9 o’clock, meaning they could stay under Jack’s light for as long as possible, and remember the warm smiles, the soft hugs, the light songs and the best friend. They followed his route. Walking past all the monuments Jack would see each day, past the the houses and through the alleys. Down by the water and along the bridges. Every step they took had been travelled daily by a man on his bike, a whistle in the air, and a dream in his heart. And for the first time in years, he wasn’t there to take it. And for the first time in years, the streets were silent.

They arrived at the Church of St. Rita of Cascia at half past eight, to be greeted by long lines of lanterns, leading the way through the dark and into the cemetery. Bikes had lined the fence, each one with a basket full of sunflowers. Following the lights through the cemetery, the children watched each of their flames’ shimmering glow. It was almost sickening to think that Jack spent his life using the glow of a fire to bring light to London, only to be consumed by the very same thing that brings joy and safety to millions.

They were still pretty early so the service was far from ready to start, but quite a lot of people were there already. Looking around, they realised pretty quickly that they barely knew anyone. It seemed that all the leeries and come, and most of London’s poor workers. He certainly had a lot of friends. But the people that they were most surprised to see, were talking off to the side. A man and woman they knew very well.

Mary Poppins stood in an elegant knee length dress trying to look indifferent to the situation as she did her best best to sooth Bert, who was completely inconsolable. At the sight of the Banks, Mary seemed to perk up, presumably because the distraction might be good for Bert. So she rather hurriedly dragged him over to them.

“Hello Mary.” Michael’s smile was attempted, but ultimately fell flat.

“It’s good to see you again. Though it’s a shame to be under such circumstances.” Despite her formal tone, her emotion was plain to see. But that certainly didn’t stop her from at least trying to hide the waves of tears that welled in her eyes every so often. He couldn’t help but think this was the most emotional he’d ever seen her.

“Apparently it was arson,” Bert started ,”I can’t believe anyone would be so sick in the head to do that. I don’t even know what I’d do if I found out who did this.” The threat was something just about everyone agreed with, but as they continued to talk, Jane, who remained silent, couldn’t help but disagree. She hated Esther for it, but what would happen to her?

For a moment, she could’ve sworn she felt a tap on her shoulder, but upon turning around, found that there was no one there. She was startled shortly after by a sudden jab in the side and a shiver up her spine. She could’ve sworn there was someone there, or maybe even a voice, but every time she looked, there was no one. Great! Now she was going mad. Just what she needed when she had to deal with Esther.

Speaking of Esther, Jane had already decided that this would be her last time out. She couldn’t risk changing in public and having Esther free to roam all over London. However, she couldn’t get out of this particular event, so here she was, to say goodbye to the man she used to love and also waving a final goodbye to any sort of freedom she could ever hope to have. 

“What about you Jane?” She was brought back to reality by a sudden question from the sweep. 

“Huh?” Mary rolled her eyes at her rudeness, but Bert didn’t seem to mind.

“Well, I know your relationship with him was quite- uh- complicated. So how’ve you been faring?” Although she hated the fact he’d heard about it at all, it was a question she hadn’t considered. She didn’t really think anyone would care. Really, with the state of their friendship, she shouldn’t have even been there. It was rather strange for someone to care about how she felt over the whole situation. Part of her even going as far as to say that it felt kind of nice.

“I guess it’s just been a bit weird. It doesn’t feel like he’s gone... but I wish I could’ve sorted things out before all this happened. I hate that it went on for so long, and now... I guess that’s never coming to an end.” She hated the pitying eyes that she was given. She didn’t deserve it. After all, she was in this position because of her own actions. She was entirely to blame. And as she looked into the eyes of the once cheerful Bert, she could barely stand to stay with the group.

In fact, at the first opportunity she had, she quietly excused herself and went to sit on a bench on her own for a while. It was nice and secluded from everyone else, and the veil of darkness she hid in was particularly comforting. Nobody could see her, and for once, she felt safe. That was until, however, the priest, Father Vincent if she recalled, walked over to her, carrying a lantern in one hand and a bible in the other. His expression held a sympathetic disposition, clearly illuminated by the lantern, which flickered brightly, taking away the darkness of her hiding place.

“Good evening Miss.” he took a seat next to her, placing the bible and lantern at his side.

“Hey.”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m managing.” Nothing could express well enough how badly she wanted to be left alone, but she used to be so social. And after so long of having to hide herself, it was like rediscovering an old addiction. She was craving the human contact, but the desire to keep him safe meant she couldn’t bear to speak very much, making things even more unbearable.

“So how did you know him?”

“We were...” she wasn’t exactly sure how best to word herself, “friends for a long time. We knew each other as kids, you see. Then we were sort of dating... kind of. But I messed it up.”

“How so?” In her head, she was screaming ‘go away, I’m not answering that!’, but she couldn’t exactly do that to a priest.

“I didn’t make him feel very good about himself. It was just me being selfish.” She knew she was being vague, but she barely even knew what she did, technically, she wasn’t even there. So when he didn’t respond and was waiting for her to continue, Jane wasn’t exactly sure what else to say.

“I guess, he’d probably be better off having never known me.”

“Now, now, there’s no need to be talking like that.”

“It’s true though.”

“You know, I don’t think he’d agree with that.” She almost laughed right at him at the comment.

“You know, he often felt quite lonely.” For a moment she was totally silent. She couldn’t understand how someone like Jack would feel that way. He was surrounded by loads of people. Hell, it seemed like half of London had turned up to the funeral!

“How?”

“Well, it’s quite simple. Most of his friends weren’t around for very long. He barely got to know them before they left. And it hurt him. So if you were his friend right from childhood, then I’m fairly certain he held you in high esteem.”

The look in his eyes was genuine, and for a moment she almost felt better. The more she thought about it, the more she couldn’t help but remember all those good times they had. They practically created their own sign language to speak to each other through the window, and all those nights sitting under the lamp light’s glow, quietly wishing for an excuse to be together more often. Michael used to laugh at her, but she didn’t care. It was kind of sad when she left for school. She used to stare out of her window every night wondering when she’d see him again, and every time she came home, he was still there, a little older each time. Until one day, he wasn’t. And it hurt for a while. But she moved on. And as she grew up, she forgot all about it. But that fateful day when they bumped into each other, quite literally, everything came back, and it all got better. 

When they world was grey, his smile brought the sun back out. If you were lost, he knew where to take you, and if you were sad, he knew what to say. Countless nights she’d spent with him, just talking and talking to each other for hours on ends. The nights could’ve lasted forever and it still wouldn’t even be close to enough. She could say with perfect certainty that he was the man she would happily spend her life with, and although things had changed since Esther turned up, when it was just them, things were perfect. And nothing could ruin that for her. Even though it couldn’t last, at least she got to experience perfection for a little while, and that was enough for her.

“Come along,” he smiled, “I think it’s time to start the service.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now Christmas is over, we can get back to the grit! Hope you had a lovely Christmas!


	14. To Shine A Light On The Situation

Three days had passed since the service. Of course she wouldn’t admit she was counting, but she was. Mostly due to the fact that she could hardly believe the days were passing by so slowly. In fact, Mary had had a rather stern conversation with the sun, who assured her that he was moving at his usual pace. But she hadn’t believed it. She didn’t want to. But of course she wouldn’t say that either, she couldn’t just ignore the truth because she didn’t like it. That went entirely against her creed. She told herself that the sun must be lying, she would never admit the time went slow due to her own grief. She wasn’t usually one for sentiment. Too much would muddle her thinking and make her job far too difficult. So she couldn’t help but scold herself whenever she became attached to people she worked with. Like Austin, Maria, or David, or Tony, Bert, or Jack. The list was much too long for her liking, and she knew she’d regret letting it get to such a point. But although many considered her to be super-human, it still meant she was human, and it still meant her emotions could sometimes could get to be a bit too much.

Still, she was a professional lier- though she’d never say it out loud- so of course nobody knew all this. To anybody else, she was totally calm about the whole situation. She’d moved on...

Despite her assurance that she was fine, Mary had often found herself at the church cemetery, time and time again. Considering she could talk to so many more kinds of people than most, she found it more than a little frustrating that dead people were not on her list. The hours she would spend with him seemed rather silly in the knowledge that he couldn’t even hear her, but that hadn’t stopped her.

In fact, this was one of those very days. The sun was glowing, bathing the freshly fallen autumn leaves in its light. The wildlife were preparing to hibernate, as many other humans wished they could do the same thing. Mary had been gone for almost four hours by that point, but with it being her day off, thankfully, not a single soul had come looking for her.

Mary had been sitting quietly on a bench beside the grave. Something about the whole thing just didn’t make sense. The police believed it was done deliberately, but if that were the case, who on earth would it be? There wasn’t anyone who disliked Jack enough to risk their freedom with a crime like this. And if there was someone, a scary thought is that she didn’t know who it could be. And she knew everyone. So they were either a great lier, or hider. And if you could get past a woman like her while doing such things, then you really were a force to be reckoned with.

After a particularly long session of pondering her circumstances, another person chose to make their presence known. Just across the way, Mary spotted none other than Jane approaching. However, something about her seemed... off. She’d had that feeling ever since she’d arrived back to London, and it was one of the reasons (other than to make sure the family could move on properly) that she had decided to stay for a while. So to give herself a chance to watch her for longer, Mary quickly got up, and glided over to strategically place herself behind a tree: the perfect spot to see, without being seen.

As Jane wandered through the cemetery, she seemed to be inspecting each and every headstone as she went, as if she had no idea which one was the one she was looking for. It took a good few minutes for her to actually get to the right one, and once she did, she said in triumph,

“Aha! There you are!” The exclamation was more than a little unexpected in the otherwise silent cemetery, but the silence resettled just as quickly as it had been disturbed. Jane sat down in front of the stone with a smile on her face as she read the engraving, quietly chuckling to herself. After a quiet few moments, she disturbed the silence again,

“Well, I hadn’t been sure it would actually work, but look at you!” She looked down at herself and laughed, “Now she has no other choice.” The grin on her face was one of pure satisfaction, totally content with whatever she’d done, which Mary was quickly figuring out, and she wasn’t too happy about it. But as she looked at the woman in question, she couldn’t help but feel like this wasn’t Jane. There was just something...wrong about her. Plain and simple. So when she saw the perfect moment, Mary decided it was time to meet this stranger that she was supposed to know.

“Hello there.” Her formal greeting was met with wide eyes. She only looked at her for a second, before she started doing her absolute best to look miserable and as if she hadn’t been laughing. However, she was certainly trying a little bit too hard, enough that anyone could tell it wasn’t genuine, even if they hadn’t seen how she’d behaved previously. Nevertheless, she wanted this person to think she was clueless, so she ignored the enormous red flags.

“Are you alright?”

“ Fine.” Although her voice was quiet, her tone was quite snappish, and it took a lot to stop herself from scolding the woman.

“Are you sure, Jane?” The use of her own name seemed to make her tense, as if she was shocked that Mary should even know it.

“Yes I’m sure, how long have you been here?” As her pace quickened, Mary could see the panic on her face, even though it was mixed quite thoroughly with a rather unhealthy amount of anger.

“Not very long.” Of course she was lying. But that was ok. As I said before, she was a professional at it, “It’s awful isn’t it? I can’t believe anyone could be so evil. He didn’t deserve any of this.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” She muttered.

“Pardon?”

“I said that doesn’t mean anything to some people. There are people who would quite happily go to extreme lengths for a profit.”

“Yes, it’s a rather horrible thought.” The two were quiet for a moment as they thought. And as Mary looked at Jane, she couldn’t ignore it any longer,

“You know, Jane, something about you seems different these days.”

“Well, people change.”

“Yes, however, I’ve never known someone to change so much that they would be gleeful of their friend’s death.” Jane’s eyes went wide as she quickly stumbled to her feet, realising she’d really been caught.

“In fact, I’m rather inclined to think you may even hold responsibility for this whole mess.” With every word, Jane grew angrier and more panicked. But as she tried to speak to defend herself, Mary only cut her off.

“In fact, I’d say I’m also rather inclined to think that I’m not really speaking to Jane Banks, am I?” That was enough to set off Not-Jane.

“Now listen here! You have no idea what you’re dealing with. Yes, you’re right. But are you really going to tell anyone and get your precious Jane locked up for something she didn’t do? And even if you could do it, you know what I can do. You’ll be dead before the police have come within a mile of me. If you try to stop me, I’ll bring you down too!” The sudden threat was a little more than she expected, but Mary was able to recover from the initial shock as soon as it had come about.

“Now, now. There’s no need for that kind of talk. I merely wish to know who I’m speaking too.”

“Esther. And why the hell should that matter?!”

“Don’t you think it makes it easier to hold a conversation now, Esther?” She shied away a little, still not losing the furious look on her face. “Now, would you be so good as to tell me why you felt it necessary to go to such lengths?” Esther looked down for a second, weighing her options. But at this point, Mary knew so much, she didn’t care what else she knew. Even if the whole world knew what had happened, it meant nothing. It’s not like they could do anything to separate her from Jane. She was still in complete control. And why not shake up her day a little more.

“I’m afraid it was the only option to get rid of their baby.”

“Baby?!” Mary was horrified. It had never happened before, and she despised the feeling, but she really was horrified.

“It won’t be my problem anymore now that it won’t have a father. I’m sure Jane will be happy for it to go.” Now she’d mentioned it, as. Mary looked, she could vaguely see the beginning of a bump, and due to the nature of her profession, she was pretty well able to tell that this was definitely a pregnancy.

“Now if you don’t mind, I have places to be.” In one swift motion, she shoved Mary to the ground, turned on her heel, and sprinted out of the cemetery.

Totally appalled and still in shock, Mary, rather ungracefully, pushed herself to her feet to follow her, doing her best to brush off the worst of the dirt that now coated her dress. But as soon as she reached the gates, she already knew it was too late. Esther was nowhere to be seen, and she’d only get further away while she went wandering all over London. She needed a different plan, this wasn’t going to work, she needed to figure out something else. Giving one last look back towards the grave, she sighed,

“Oh Jack, what has she done to you?” Continuing with her plan, she left the yard and headed straight back to Cherry Tree Lane, weaving between the crowds like a woman on a mission. The midday sun warmed her back despite the shivers that ran down her spine, every time she thought about what Esther had done. The thought that this had been going on for a while made her sick and she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to know everything that had happened. But considering a baby was involved, it was plain to see that whatever it was, it had been pretty bad.

As soon as she got back to the house, she walked right on in, immediately going to find Michael and much to her surprise, found him talking to Bert in the kitchen, each with a cup of tea. They seemed to be going through a photo album, but when she came in, all eyes fell on her.

Noticing the dirt on her dress, Bert was the first to speak.

“My Lord, Mary! What on earth happened?” But she didn’t feel it necessary to answer him, choosing to turn her head to Michael instead.

“Michael, how long has Jane been acting strangely?” Both men were slightly taken aback by the sudden question, Bert even more so when Michael answered, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

“A few weeks now, why?”

“I believe I just met her peculiar side.”

“Oh,” his eyes fell in embarrassment, “I’m sorry about whatever she said to you. She’s been pushing people away a lot recently. And she isn’t afraid to say terrible things to do it.”

“That’s not the problem.” Both men were completely intrigued as she continued, “My problem, Michael, is that she just told me that she’s responsible for what happened to Jack.” Horrified gasps passed their lips as Bert became completely fired up.

“I can’t believe it! Of all people. Her?! Why I’ve got half a mind to head over and give her a taste of what she’s dealing with.” But as Bert stood up ready to leave, Mary grabbed his arm, urging him to sit back down.

“I’m not finished.” Her words were rather stern as she looked at each of them in turn. “She’s apparently done this because of their baby,” Michael went white, “without Jack around to help look after it, she seems to think Jane will get rid of it.”

Michael looked about ready to faint at the thought of his sister being pregnant, but before he could find his words again, it was Bert who spoke up,

“You’re saying that as if she’s two different people. What do you mean?”

“She actually is two people. We know the usual side of her as Jane, but her peculiar side is a woman called Esther.” And it was at this point that Michael fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year!


	15. Anything To Pass The Time

They’d been talking for almost an hour. After Michael was seen to, of course. It all made sense. As they discussed everything she’d done, every last bit of it made sense. Missing the date, disturbing the family meal, the partying, the arguing. Every last bit had some kind of explanation with Esther at the heart of it. But one question was still on their mind.

“How do we stop this?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? You’re Mary Poppins! You always know!”

“Michael,” she snapped, “I understand this is rather stressful, but can you please at least try to calm down. I don’t know everything. The very thought is preposterous.”

“Wait,” Bert realised something, “if she can switch between personalities with no memories of what the other did, then it’s only a matter of time before she changes. Wherever she is, she won’t know that there’s any trouble. She’ll probably just go home. We should wait for her there.”

“Good idea. Thank you Bert.” She stood up, “Right then. Chop chop. Let’s be off.” Without a second thought, Bert and Michael got up and followed her out the door as her obedient charges. They raced across London, all the while checking the streets as they went in case they came across her, but alas, she was nowhere to be seen. They could only hope she wouldn’t cause too much trouble before coming home. 

Upon arrival at the flat, Michael unlocked the door with the spare key Jane had given him when she first moved in. The flat was fairly normal. Everything seemed to mostly be in its rightful place, except for a few things. For example, her hanging mirror was gone, and eyeing the few small shards still embedded in the carpet beneath where it once hung, it was pretty easy to see what it’s fate had been.

However, the most interesting thing was at her writing desk. Papers covered the whole thing with various letters in two very distinct handwriting styles: one being the wavy calligraphy Michael knew to be Jane’s, and the other, a scrawled clunky style that he assumed was Esther. Each letter had been dated and given a time when they were written to keep them organised, but lay over the desk completely jumbled. Some had even been discarded on the floor. As Michael read a few, he could very clearly understand what was going on. Esther seemed to threaten Jane in just about every letter, while Jane seemed to be begging her to stop.

The trio attempted to sit and read them all, but there were too many, and Michael found he couldn’t bear to read what his sister had been silently suffering through for so long. If they had known about it sooner, none of this would’ve happened.

They sat there for a good few hours, on a repeating cycle of mindlessly chattering about whatever came to mind, before falling back into silence as the conversation ran dry. They were all hoping beyond hope that Jane would return soon, but no matter how long they waited she didn’t come back.

And so they went home again, slept, and came back the next day. But yet again, she wasn’t there. They tried again the next day, and the next day and the next. They hoped she might be hiding away out of guilt over her actions, but as the days stretched to weeks, it was becoming pretty clear that she wasn’t coming back any time soon. Night and day became a blur but they were no closer to seeing her again. So after the third week, they were certain they’d have to find her themselves. But their first point of call for help, had not been so successful.

“She did it?!”

“Not exactly, it was Esther. Jane didn’t have a say in any of it.”

“But she could’ve done something to stop it going so far! If-if she locked Esther in the house, it would’ve never happened!” Angus had been on the verge of tears as Michael and Mary did their best to explain the situation to him.

“Look, she’s been gone now for a few weeks and we need to find her. We need the leeries’ help to search London.”

“Seriously?! She killed him and now you want us to help her!?”

“Angus please,” Michael started, “Jane herself did nothing. And if Esther remains free to roam, Lord only knows what else will happen!”

“No! Not after what she did to Jack. She had plenty of time to deal with it, but, no! The amount of times I had to see him completely broken was ridiculous! He completely lost all sense of who he was because of her. She doesn’t deserve our help. This is her mess to deal with!”

“Angus, we-“

“NO!” Mary had been rather shocked to be cut off so abruptly, but as she looked into his pained eyes, she hadn’t been able to be angry.

“I’m sorry, but I think I can speak for all the lads when I say we don’t want any part of this. We’ve lost too much already. We’re not losing any more.” With that, Angus had got up, wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, before swiftly leaving and getting back to work. They’d wanted to go after him, but they’d known it would be futile. So instead, they’d chosen to get on with finding another form of help and just hoping they could still be friends with the leeries.

A week later and the police were searching. They were quick to remind them that as Jane was a grown adult, she could’ve just decided to leave, and that wouldn’t be a problem. But when they found out about her relationship with Jack, they started making assumptions and decided to get involved, ‘just in case’. Of course nobody told them about Esther. They didn’t want to incriminate Jane or make her sound mad, but this did make it a little more difficult to talk to the police when they had to work past certain questions and lie to them. But they managed pretty well overall.

Every day, they hoped beyond hope that she’d return, but everyday they were left disappointed. Time dragged on and soon enough a month had passed. Then another. Then another. The days were slipping between their fingers and the police were still having no luck in locating her. They didn’t even have a clue.

They did their best to stay close and not panic, but if you were to find yourself in such an unbelievable situation as they did, you’d find it rather hard for your imagination not to run wild. After all, everything they thought they knew, had been wrong. It wasn’t completely unthinkable that it could get stranger.

However, no matter the situation, children will always be the ones to really let their imagination run away with them. And when they were told about Esther, there was going to be no way to prevent that.

“What if Esther hurt her?”

“She wouldn’t. They’re sharing a body, so it would hurt them both.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because it makes sense.”

“But nothing else about this makes sense. So why would that?”

“Will you three please stop squabbling!” Mary sat at the table while the children did their homework, but unfortunately, very little was getting done.

“Mary, are we ever going to see Aunt Jane again?” Georgie was looking rather distressed, but although Mary felt the same, she wouldn’t allow herself to feed into such a feeling.

“Of course you will. Why on earth wouldn’t you?”

“Well, she’s been gone for ages.”

“Exactly, she’s been gone for long enough now. She’ll be back any day.” Her confidence did very little to comfort the kids or herself, but it would have to do. She had nothing else she could offer.

“Can’t we help find her?” Annabel asked, and although it was well-meaning, Mary couldn’t help but overreact a little.

“Absolutely not! Goodness knows what would happen if you three went wandering across London on your own. Anything could happen!” Their heads fell in defeat and Mary couldn’t help but pity them, despite their silly idea.

“Look, I know you’re worried, but the police are doing their best. Nobody else could be better equipped to find your aunt. She’ll be fine. Come on now, finish your work.”

The trio did as they were asked and continued with their various maths problems, while Mary took advantage of the quiet moment to ponder their position.

The kids didn’t know, but the police were beginning to think they’d never find her. They’d given an ultimatum. They would only search for another week or two, and if they didn’t get any leads, they’d close the case. They couldn’t take any more time up with the search for someone who may not even want to be found. So they were ready to let her hide. Of course this was taking its toll on Michael, who hadn’t moved from his place at the kitchen table since he’d been told that morning. He’d never expected to lose his only sister. But here he was. And where was she? Somewhere in another world probably. The poor man had dealt with enough of Esther’s antics to last a lifetime, but this had to be the worst of them all. He almost wished Esther would come back, just so he could see his sister’s face again. That would be enough. Or even go back to when he didn’t know what was happening. Ignorance is bliss. But of course he would never wish his sister any misery, so he fought to keep such thoughts and wishes out of his head.

And Bert. Dear old Bert. She honestly didn’t know what to think of the poor man. Bert had been very reserved since the funeral, but after hearing about Esther and then her disappearance, he’d gone completely silent. He’d never gone a day without cracking a few jokes. And although they could be crude and inappropriate at times, she’d give anything to hear them again. He’d taken to looking through a large photo album full of pictures of himself and Jack. He’d told himself the story of their lives over and over again as if he’d ever even be able to forget such memories in the first place.

When Jack’s flat had been cleared out, most things had been destroyed, but everything that was still relatively intact, had been passed on to Bert. It had been a small box, but one that, like the photo album, Bert had looked through time and time again. By now, he knew every item it contained. The rosary beads his mother had given him sat right next to a small pouch of shells he’d painted with Bert many years ago. A rather sweet plant pot was full of various sewing things Jack had used to make his clothes last years longer than they were made to. But the hardest one to look at was a small envelope. Inside was a letter from many years ago from Puerto Rico. It seemed like his family back home had had a busy life and liked to tell him all about it. But now they wouldn’t get another letter. And of course Bert would have to write a letter to explain what happened. He’d been telling himself that everyday for the past few months. But everyday, he’d told himself the letter would be unreadable when it was stained with so many tears.

The whole house was silent and for once, Mary couldn’t bear it. She’d always been a fan of having some peace and quiet, but now it was too much of a void that needed to be filled. An empty space in her soul made it harder to breath everyday, and she could only hope that it would one day heal. She hated when she got too attached. But she couldn’t help it. She’d mourned many friends over the years, but this one had hurt the most. She’d pretty much lost two in one go. And one would have been plenty enough. But here she was.

Sighing, she looked across the room to the mirror. Her hair was far too messy for her liking. And she’d have to redo her make up if she wanted to hide the bags under her eyes. It was so unsightly. Though most people wouldn’t notice, she could see all the small imperfections, and she longed to fix them. But every time she told herself to do it, she found an excuse to keep busy, or at least occupied, with something else. Anything else. And currently, that task was to count the leaves that passed the window as the wind began to pick up. A storm was coming, and honestly, for once, she didn’t care at all.


	16. A Windswept Thief

Swirling gusts were coming from the east. And the west. And the north and the south. And up and down. Blowing every which way and then going backwards to do it all over again. He’d never known wind like it. But then again, the wind always seemed to blow whenever he ran. Trees had begun to thrash as if they were trying to stop him. But his pace never ceased. This was far too important. The delivery in his arms had been a tough one to bring. Getting it away without being spotted was nearly impossible. But the silent night held the perfect cover for his escape: a veil as black as the room he collected it from.

He was nearly at the drop off point. He could only hope they wouldn’t reject it. But even if they did, he was certain they’d at least treat it well and give it to someone better prepared to take over the responsibility of its care. They had plenty of love to give, and with the losses they’d faced, they needed something to fill the gap that was left behind. God knows they’d had it rough.

When he finally arrived on the street, the lamps were all on, but the homes were dark. He supposed it was rather late. But this couldn’t exactly wait. As the gusts rose to a deafening roar, he made his way along the road. Number 15. No. Number 16. No. Number 17. Perfect. Just what he’d been looking for. The wind weaved between the leaves of the trees, screaming like flutes in an almost deafening cacophony of unnecessary noise. But it was enough to drown out the sound being made by the bundle in his arms, which he was rather grateful for. He couldn’t let her hear it. He couldn’t let her know what he’d stolen.

He walked up to the house while his feet never touched the steps. And as he laid down his gift, he was half tempted to stay. But he couldn’t do that. It was far too cold. Looking at it, he couldn’t help but smile. Nobody would ever know he was there. Nobody would ever know what he’d done. He’d be safe. His job was done. She couldn’t hurt anyone else.

“I wish you every happiness... and maybe I’ll see you again. One day. But for now, they’ll have to do. Enjoy yourself, life’s too short for regrets. I love you.” With a kiss goodbye, he stood up and knocked on the door.

Voices inside began to bubble up, but when they opened the door and the wind fell silent. They didn’t see him. They didn’t hear him. They could only see the child he’d left at their door.

“I’m sorry. But you’re safe now.”

“MICHAEL!”

Ellen’s shout had Michael and the rest of the house rushing to the door to see what was so urgent. By the time they’d all got there, she had just picked up what had been left there.

“What’s wrong?” When she turned around, everyone’s breath caught as they laid their eyes on the small bundle in her arms. And before anyone had a chance to ask what it was, she brought it over, to reveal the baby boy she held.

“What on earth!”

“Who left that?!”

“Who’s child is it?!”

“How should I know?! He was just left on the doorstep.” Everyone was stunned as they examined the child. He seemed perfectly healthy, if a little cold. But after a minute or so, Mary remembered what Esther has said.

“Hang on a minute. Let me see him.” When Ellen passed the boy to her, she only had to look at him for a second to realise what was going on. He must have only been less than a month old, but it was plain to see. With a nose like that, this was obviously Jack’s, as if the small tuft of black hair wasn’t enough of an indication. His eyes and mouth were just like Jane’s. It had to be theirs. It had to be. There was no other possibility.

He shifted in her arms and a tiny hand poked past the blankets, grabbing her hand in the tightest grip he could muster. She was so absorbed by the sight that she almost didn’t notice the leather bracelet on his wrist.

“What on earth is that?” She muttered. Everyone came in closer, trying to get a proper look it. She turned the bracelet, which was tied loose around him, to find a name written on it,

“Finn.”

“Finn?”

“I suppose that’s his name.”

“Well, what are we supposed to do with him?!” Mary was quiet as everyone looked to her. She could almost laugh at the fact they thought she held any authority in this matter.

“This is Jane and Jack’s son. You’re the one’s that are related to him. It’s your decision.”

It seemed to surprise them when they realised they were the cousins, uncle and grandfather to the boy, and none of them really knew what to do. They looked between each other until Bert was finally able to collect himself enough to speak.

“Of course we’re going to look after him. There’s no debate on that.” Everyone seemed to be in agreement with him as Mary passed the boy to him.

Bert couldn’t help but choke up a bit. He looked so much like his parents. It could only remind him of when he first met Jack. Of course, he was a lot older at the time, about 12, but he was so scared and vulnerable. He was the only one who could protect him. And as he held his grandson, he felt the exact same way. Except this time, there wasn’t just one person to care for him. Even though he’d never know his father, and the future of his relationship with his mother was uncertain, he’d still have a network of people that would do anything to keep him safe. They wouldn’t let any harm come to him. And he’d grow up happily, and make a life for himself. He was going to be great. He already knew. If he had just a fragment of Jane’s determination, or a fraction of Jack’s creative mind, that would be more than enough to do something great. Something he’d be remembered for. Something that would make his parents proud, wherever they were.

“I think I’ve still got a cot up in the attic, I’ll bring it down and we can put him in that.” Michael dashed upstairs as his own children followed, each one wanting to help set up for the new baby. Ellen was also quick to jump into action, heading to the kitchen to see if they still had any baby bottles so she could give him some milk. This left Mary and Bert alone with the boy, who they brought into the lounge, still in total amazement of what they had been given.

“I can’t believe it. I always thought the day I’d meet my grandchild would be a little less complicated than this.”

“It’s a shame Jack won’t see him.” Mary mused as Bert laughed sadly,

“Can you imagine if he was still here? He’d be so happy.”

“And I’d guess he’d be the type of father to cry when he meets his son.” They both chuckled a little.

“Definitely.” Bert bit his lip as he started to get emotional. He certainly hadn’t considered things turning out like this. And even though Finn would be well loved, it was hurting his very soul to know he wouldn’t see his parents.

“They would’ve loved him so much.”

“And they do.” Bert looked at her quizzically.

“Remember what I told you about where the lost things go?”

“Oh yeah, right.” He looked out the window, just about able to spot the moon from their position, despite the fact that the sunrise was beginning to hide its view.

“He’s probably looking down on us right now, isn’t he?”

“I suspect so. And of course Jane isn’t really gone either.” Bert couldn’t really hide the doubtful look that spread across his face at her words.

“I’ve never known a mother who wouldn’t fight tooth and nail to be with her baby. We’re more likely to find her now than ever before.”

Outside, the wind was finally calming down, enough so that they may have even heard her. Far away in the old dilapidated house, Esther had been screaming and shouting blue murder.

“I KNOW YOU HID IT! WHERE IS IT?!”

“I don’t know! I already told you! I don’t know!”

“HOW ELSE WOULD IT JUST DISAPPEAR?! YOU HID IT! Her head snapped to the side with each change in character. Jane had given birth a few weeks ago and it had completely ruined their shifts. They were switching constantly and it had worn both of them out so much. It was the only thing that had kept Esther from killing the boy. And now, it was the only thing keeping her from searching for him. The moment she’d step outside, they’d change again and again and again, and they’d never get anywhere. They’d probably just get hurt. But that fact had only fuelled Esther’s rage. She’d turned tables, broken down walls, and even ripped up the floorboards in her fury, desperately looking for the baby that would ruin her. But Jane had hid the baby. She hid him as soon as he was born. He wasn’t safe with her. But when Esther had turned the place upside down to find him, she’d come across Jane’s spot on numerous occasions, but nothing was there.

“WHERE DID YOU PUT IT?!”

“I told you, I hid him under the stairs. I don’t know what happened to him since then. He should be there! I don’t know why he’s not!”

“LIAR!!” She ripped a door from its hinges as the wind outside began to pick up. Louder and louder and louder until they couldn’t hear a thing.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU DID THIS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” As Esther became exhausted, she finally let go. Jane took over but their body was so tired. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept or eaten or seen the sun. Before she even realised, she was sitting on the floor in a ball as the tears began to fall.

Esther was right. This was her fault. This was all her fault. Of course it was. She could’ve done something sooner, but she let it get out of hand. First it was family. Then Jack. And now her own baby. She didn’t even get to name him before she lost him too. But how was she meant to know what to do?! It wasn’t fair.

Something was screaming in her ear. She did know what to do. She had known for a while. There was no other option, but that didn’t mean it was any easier. If the world was better without Esther in it. She could always get rid of her. It just meant getting rid of herself too. There were enough dangerous items in the dump she called home. All she had to do was pick. But every time she tried, she ended up choosing not to do it at all. And she hated herself for it. She still wasn’t doing what she had to. But how was anyone meant to be able to do it? And what if it didn’t help? What if it just meant Jane was gone and Esther had control. She was the only person stopping her from ruining anymore lives and she was still doing a bad job. God only knows what would happen if Esther had total control.

She was helpless. There was no other word for it. Every second she had control was agony, and any minute she could let go. She wasn’t strong enough. She never could be. But she was glad of one thing. Something had looked down on her and, for someone reason unknown to her, had taken pity on her. Something had taken her baby and saved it. Taken it somewhere far away, where he was warm, fed and loved, or so she hoped. She had no idea what could’ve done it, but she couldn’t be anymore grateful. So when the darkness encroached at the edge of her vision, and Esther’s threats echoed in her mind, she didn’t tremble. She smiled. Esther was trapped. And her baby was safe.

Though not for long.

When Esther returned, she’d had time to think. The wind battered at the windows and that was where she found her answer. Jane was telling the truth. Jane didn’t know where the baby was. But now, Esther did. When the realisation hit her, the flame inside her was reignited. She knew exactly where he was. And as she hissed her words, venom dripped from her tongue. The urge to fight had returned. The urge to kill had consumed her.

“He stole it.”


	17. The Copper Teapot

It had been easy to find the motivation to go back. He stole it and gave it to the family. That baby was hers and nobody else’s. It had ruined her life and hell would freeze over the day she let that slide. The walk had been long, but her fury allowed her to hold on and stay in control, fuelling every step with the energy she needed. 

The stars above London had been extinguished by the clouds that had shrouded them, leaving the lamp posts below to hold the only flames that were illuminating the city. Cold hard buildings towered up, stretching to the sky like it was some sort of competition. But while most would stop to stare in wonder, Esther refused to raise a glance. She knew what London looked like and she didn’t need to look again. She was far to busy for any of that.

The maze of streets tried to confuse her, muddling her mind about which way to go, but she remembered the way. She’d walked it enough. Although she barely recognised the streets themselves, the directions were burned into her head. When the trees rustled and tried to ambush her with fallen leaves, she merely batted them out of the way. She wouldn’t be stopped. Not even by God himself.

The cherry trees were the indication that she’d made it to her desired destination. Her baby had been there for a day, but that was way too long for her liking. It didn’t deserve such a luxury. But she couldn’t just walk into the house. The lights were on and she’d be stopped. And she couldn’t really be bothered trying to fight them. She’d much rather just get on with things.

This way of thinking led her out into the back garden, where she climbed up the tree near the guest room window (a skill acquired through Jane’s many escapes as a teenager). She could see a cot inside containing her sleeping baby, and the sight alone was almost enough to knock her back. He looked like a perfectly normal child, it was almost hard to believe that it was the cause of her rage.

Carefully, she reached out to the window, knowing the lock on it was busted (yet again, all thanks to Jane’s teenage escapes) and pulled it open. Getting inside was a bit difficult as there was a set of drawers in the way adorned with a fancy vase of flowers, and she didn’t exactly want to make any noise. She wanted to kill the baby, but she also wanted a clean getaway.

As soon as she was inside, she hovered over the crib and pulled out her knife. Finally. She could end this. But of course, despite her careful work, the world wouldn’t allow it to be so easy. For the door opened, revealing Annabel. And as soon as she laid eyes upon her, of course, she screamed. And when a child screams, people come running. And that’s exactly what happened.

She had wanted to grab the baby quickly and run, but before she even got the chance, the rest of the family had arrived. As Ellen pulled Annabel away with her brothers, Bert, Michael and Mary rushed inside.

“Esther?!” Michael was completely shocked, but he was also unarmed, and in her presence, he didn’t feel comfortable with that. So he rushed to the fireplace where he grabbed a poker to use as his weapon. Mary had, thankfully, brought her umbrella with her, already thinking a fight might ensue. And although Bert was unarmed, he was much bigger than Esther, and had plenty of experience defending himself after so many years in London’s rough streets. But Esther had something they didn’t have: animalistic rage, and a knife. A dangerous combination.

“Esther. Put the knife down. Or else we’ll have to stop you ourselves.” Mary’s warning fell on deaf ears as Esther was too mad to care. Her eyes were wild and she was practically foaming from the mouth as her whole body vibrated with energy.

“He stole it. AND I WANT IT BACK!” She charged at Mary first, but Bert was quick to step between them, grabbing Esther by the wrists as she kicked and thrashed against his grip. In her struggle, she broke her left arm free and landed a solid punch into his gut. As he doubled over, she pushed herself away from him and went right back to the cot, but Mary was already there, holding baby Finn, who was wailing in terror.

“GIVE HIM BACK!”

“Absolutely not!” Mary was stern and sharp, but not as sharp as the knife when Esther swung it at her. Mary stepped back, turning to keep Finn away from her. The knife sliced across her arm with ease as she hissed in pain. But her small victory was short lived, as Bert and Michael dragged Esther back and threw her to the ground. As she thrashed, she landed a lucky kick on Michael, who staggered backwards, leaving Bert to hold her. Without him there, Esther was nearly loose as she pulled against the grip on her arms. He wouldn’t keep her pinned for long.

“You’re gonna ‘ave to help me ‘ere!” Michael grabbed his fire poker, but once he turned back, he froze. He couldn’t bear to see what that thing had done to his sister. She lay on the ground, pinned, thrashing like a rabid animal, screaming and hissing and cursing as she foamed at the mouth. 

“I’LL KILL YOU BASTARDS! YOU STOLE HIM! YOU STOLE HIM!” But he knew that wasn’t her voice. It couldn’t be. Jane would never say that. This wasn’t Jane. This wasn’t his sister. And that was what he told himself as he raised his weapon over his head, and brought it crashing down again. Only when she fell unconscious, was she still.

“We should tie her up. She could wake up any moment.”

“And I need to go.” Mary’s statement surprised everyone, who all stared at her in confusion.

“Restrain her, I must go for now. I have a cousin who will know what to do. I’ll be back later tonight.” This seemed to satisfy them. Mary passed Finn to Michael while Ellen brought up some rope for Bert.

“Don’t let her leave, if my cousin can indeed help, we’ll be able to separate Jane and Esther.”

Mary was out the door in moments, leaving Michael, Bert, Ellen and the kids. They managed to tie her up pretty well with no chance she’d be able to free herself if she awoke. And thanks to Ellen’s wisdom, they also had sense to tie a towel over her mouth so she couldn’t scream and scare the baby or even the neighbours.

After they were satisfied, Bert and Michael were left in the room while Ellen settled the children, who they could hear panicking downstairs.

“Go on. I’ll stay and watch her. You go and look after your kids.” Michael was a little surprised that Bert wouldn’t mind being alone with her, but he couldn’t pass the opportunity, and was quickly out the door to comfort his family.

Bert sat for quite a while in silence. Just staring at her. The woman who killed his son. The woman who hurt him and made him feel worthless. The woman who didn’t even deserve to have known him in the first place. A seething hatred was ebbing away at his soul like a roaring fire, and it was taking every ounce of will power not to kill her while he had the chance. But his logical side reminded him that Jane was not entirely to blame and he shouldn’t be angry with her. However, that thought did very little to actually calm him down.

The thought of what Jack would do if he were there played over and over if his head. Would Jack be angry at her? Jane? Esther? Or both? He never got to know what was going on, after all. He wanted to do what Jack would want, but for once in his life, he hadn’t the foggiest of what that would be. Jack was always a very forgiving person, but surely even he would have a problem working past this.

A shuffling in front of him pulled him from his thoughts. Esther had woken up and was trying to free herself from her bonds.

“I wouldn’t bother trying if I were you,” her head snapped up to look at him, “you’ll never get out of that.” Her features morphed to a look of fury as she desperately tried to wriggle herself free from the rope. However, nothing she tried seemed to work, and as exhaustion settled, she finally gave up her attempt, instead choosing to give her captor the harshest glare she could possibly manage. But despite this, Bert’s cold expression never faltered. What did change, however, was when he shuffled over to her on the floor, and removed the cloth from her mouth.

“What the hell are you doing?!” She hissed.

“I jus’ wanted to meet this side of you, is all.”

“Well you’ve met me, now piss off!”

“Why did you do it?” His question was completely void of any emotion and sounded genuinely curious, but Esther wasn’t stupid. She could tell he could blow up any minute no matter what she said to him.

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you kill my son?” His voice was rising slightly with every word.

“Because I needed to if I wanted to get rid of the kid.”

“Fat lot of use that was.” He hissed.

“Fair enough. I suppose a mere sweep wouldn’t understand something like this.” But despite her insult, Bert burst out laughing at her.

“Honestly, I couldn’t care less what you say about me. I’m the one who’s tied you up after all. The only thing I’m gonna get mad about, is an insult to Jack. And considering your position, I don’t think it’s wise to say anything like that.” She glared at him, realising he was right. But Esther wasn’t a coward. And she had no filter from her brain to her mouth either.

“Really? I would’ve thought you’d want to know all about how much of a fuc-“ before she could even finish, Bert had gotten up, walked over to her and planted a solid kick to her gut, knocking her down to lie on the floor where she’d sat.

“I warned you about that.” Once Esther caught her breath again, she only started laughing.

“Aww, am I upsetting you? Are you gonna cry? You gonna cry just like Jack?” He practically snarled at her, but she was undeterred as more and more spewed from her lips, “You know he wasn’t as special as you liked to think. If there’s one thing I learned from him, he’s completely disposable. Every other leerie I met were just the same. Why don’t you just pick up another one off the streets like the fucking stray dogs they are?”

Bert hurled his boot into her as hard as physically possible. He couldn’t bear to listen to the rubbish that spewed out of her mouth any longer.

“I don’t care about how little respect you had for another human being, but if you could look past your own ego for one bloody minute, then maybe you could value someone other than yourself!” He kicked her again and this seemed to shut her up. And even if it didn’t, nobody would know, because Bert was very quick to seal her lips with the cloth again. He’d listened to more than enough of her.

“God, if this is what you’re like now, I can only imagine how much of a stuck-up brat you were with him.” She silently sulked in her restraints as Bert went back to sitting across the room to watch her.

She couldn’t stand it, she hated feeling like a child needing to be looked after. Even though she was bound, it still felt the most unnecessary. She didn’t like how he looked at her at all: as if some wild animal and a criminal were joined together. But she wasn’t evil. She did what was necessary for her to have fun. And there was nothing wrong with that.

They stayed in this awkward silence for what felt like hours. And it was nearly one in the morning when the opening of the front door signalled Mary’s return. And after a brief discussion downstairs with Michael, the two came upstairs, as ready as they’d ever be.

“Right. Shall we begin?”

Kneeling down beside Esther on the floor, she opened her bag and started pulling things out.

“As I suspected, my cousin has heard of this all before. Spirits from the past who wish to live again after dying too young. So they take over the bodies of the living and have their way, without caring about the damage. However, they’re not usually this problematic.” The glare she gave Esther only left her sulking more.

“No matter, though. She gave me just the thing we need. Though she’s adamant I return it later.” Bert and Michael watched in confusion as she pulled out an old copper teapot.

“It’s a rather potent mixture of salt water and lambs blood, brought to boil. It should do the job nicely.” She poured it into a cup and let it cool a little so as not to burn her insides too badly.

“Would you mind holding her?” Bert and Michael happily grabbed ahold of her, preventing her from squirming beneath Mary. She was screaming and trying to shout through the cloth, but the fabric muffled her cries.

“Alright, now if could just remove the cloth and we can get on with this.” Michael pulled the cloth away, but as soon as it was off, Esther spat directly at Mary. She was rather disgusted, but in a totally calm voice, she sighed,

“I can’t wait till you’re gone. You really are hard work.” With that, she brought the cup to her lips and forced her mouth open to pour in the mixture. She tried desperately to thrash and kick, but only found the ropes rubbing her skin sore and Michael and Bert putting more of their weight on to pin her aching body. Once the mixture was in her mouth however, Mary had to cover her mouth and nose when she refused to swallow it. Esther was left with no other choice but to drink it down or else she’d choke. But as soon as she let it happen, she instantly regretted it.

The vile taste nearly made her vomit as it burned its way down her throat. She let out a scream as she felt her body dissolve from the inside out and her insides seemed to fizz. A shooting pain ran up her spine where it settled in her head to beat frantically against her skull like it was trying to break her mind out of her head. She was completely immobile as her whole body shook and her vision blurred, leaving her wondering if she could see a ghostly hand emerging from her own, or if it was just her poor sight. Bert, Mary and Michael stepped away, leaving her writhing on the floor and screaming in agony as she felt her heart tear in half. But the panic truly set in when she started to feel her body gradually go cold as she stared losing feeling in her limbs. Her feet went first, trailing up her legs until she felt the same cold tingling in her fingers, before they too stopped moving. The feeling slid across her body and reached up towards her neck where she could feel herself choking on the air. But as it consumed her skull, her body returned, though it wasn’t the one she was used to. Suddenly, she felt herself being pulled from Jane’s skin, as if it had been a cage, and all at once, the was looking down at what had been her body from something entirely different: a cold, ghastly, almost transparent figure that she felt she knew.

“No. NO. NO!” It was as if she was filled with helium, as she couldn’t get back down to the floor. Her body just seemed to rise up and up and up, until she was passing through the ceiling and going God knows where. But even as she screamed, it seemed like the trio that did this to her didn’t care. In fact, they were proud of their work. They watched in glee as she was carried away and pushed off with the wind, leaving them with Jane, and nobody else.

The room quickly fell silent once Esther was gone, leaving the three of them to wonder what would come next. Michael turned to his sister and immediately began untying the ropes around her and holding on tight to her unconscious body in a desperately needed hug.

“I can’t believe it, she’s really gone?” Bert stared out the window in disbelief as Mary joined him.

“From Jane, yes. However, I imagine she may come back some time in the future.” Although they’d just had such great success, her words were defeated. She looked rather sad and if he didn’t know better, Bert may have even said she was scared. But he didn’t get much time to dwell on that fact, as they heard Jane murmuring slightly and shifting in Michael’s arms.

“I suppose we ought to get her settled. She might be a bit sore in the morning. And it’s best we move Finley, just in case.” And as they set about this task, a strange sense of calm settled over them. Something they hadn’t felt in a while. And something that was gladly welcomed by all. For they finally had Jane back. Their Jane. The real Jane.


	18. An Empty Head

When one wakes up, one expects to find themselves tucked in their own bed. On the rare occasion that this is not the case, there is usually a fine reason behind it. But there is an occasional exception to this rule, where you wake up and are surprised. However such situations are rare. Waking up in bed should never warrant fear for more than a few moments before you are sure that everything is as it should be. Unless you were Jane Banks.

Jane Banks was not one to be easily spooked, but when she woke up in a bed she didn’t know, she’d by lying if she said she wasn’t concerned. She felt like she knew it, the deja vu was almost scary, though it had been such a long time since she was ever home. And her home looked nothing like this. But something else was rather more concerning.

... it was very quiet.

That’s strange...

It hadn’t been so quiet all year.

What was it that was always so loud?

Another voice?

Esther?

ESTHER!

She shot up in the bed completely disoriented. The loud noise in her head that she’d come so accustomed to over the past months, was gone. Without a trace. And it left an eerily quiet void in its absence. She could hear herself think for once and it was glorious. Though she had to try a lot harder to think loud enough thoughts without Esther there to fill the space. She was rather glad of it, but was rather confused as to where it had gone and why. 

An old memory came to mind now that she had the space to think. Many months ago, when she’d wake up standing in the middle of an empty room for no reason. She had left a note and been surprised to find a reply. She looked around the room hastily for anything of the sort. Nothing. Michael had made her stay at his home when she had the flu. Could she still be sick? Was it all just a dream? Everything was as she remembered. It could be possible.

But in the end, the quiet she was becoming more accustomed to was interrupted. From another room, someone was crying. Loud and pained. All at once, something inside her was set alight. A thundering beat against her chest pumped adrenaline through her body as she realised who it was. And when she realised, she remembered everything: the bar and Jack, the date and the leeries, the fire and the funeral, her friends, Mary, running away, and-

“My baby!”

Flinging open the door, she raced across the hall of her childhood home, but she didn’t contemplate even for a second why she was there in the first place. In the nursery she found the cot, and in the cot she found him. A tiny baby with a small tuft of black hair, just like his father. He was clearly very upset, probably hungry. A shiver ran down her spine, but as she lifted him out of the cot, someone else entered.

“Michael?”

“... Jane?” He seemed cautious as if he couldn’t believe it was her, but when she nodded, a huge grin spread across his face.

“It worked! It actually worked! I’m so glad your back!” He pulled her into a hug as tightly as he could without squashing the baby in her arms.

“What do you mean?”

“Mary got rid of her. I wasn’t sure if it was for real, but it actually worked!” The sibling’s fell into a comforting silence for a moment, taking the chance to relish being together again. They missed each other more than words could say, so to finally be together, was enough to fill the gap left by Esther. But then the other thing she could occupy her life with, began to wriggle in her arms. Looking down at her baby, she couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re going to make a great mother,” he started, “I can already tell Finn’s going to grow up to do great things.” But she was certainly rather surprised to hear that he supposedly already had a name.

“Finn?”

“That’s was was on the leather bracelet. We thought that was his name.”

“I never got the chance to name him. And I never gave him a bracelet.”

“But you did leave him here, didn’t you?”

“No??” She was very confused by this point and mildly concerned, until she remembered that the fact someone saved her baby was a good thing, even if the circumstances were a little weird.

“Couldn’t Esther have done it?”

“She wanted to kill him, of course not.” She looked back to her son, as if he’d be able to offer an answer, to explain exactly what was going on. But of course, he was barely a few weeks old, so there’d be no chance of that happening any time soon.

Of course, Michael did his best to explain what happened, and she too shared her side of the story, but they were still no closer to figuring it out.

“Maybe we should ask Mary? She’s downstairs with Bert.” At the mere mention of his name, she shifted uncomfortably.

“He’s not going to be angry at you. He understands what happened.”

“I doubt that’ll make a difference.”

“I’m serious, don’t worry about it.” She didn’t want to, but something about trusting someone again, was thrilling. The chance to let someone else look after her was not one she’d had in a long time. And she wasn’t exactly going to pass on such an opportunity.

“Ok.” Taking her hand, he brought her downstairs, already practically bursting with excitement. Beyond the banister, she could see Bert and Mary sat in the lounge having some sort of discussion over a small pile of books, and suddenly, all the confidence she had in Michael faded. She wanted to run back up, make up an excuse that she should go back up to look after Finn. But his grip on her hand was too tight, and by the time she made the decision to run, they’d already noticed them. She couldn’t back out now.

“You were right,” Michael chirped, “it worked. She’s back to her usual self now.”

“Wonderful.” Mary beamed. However, Jane’s gaze was instead drawn to Bert who, although he was looking at her, he wasn’t looking her in the eye. He seemed to just look past her, as if he didn’t want her there but was trying to be polite.

“And how are you Jane?”

“I’m feeling alright.”

“Excellent.” Both Michael and Mary could feel the tension in the air, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out where it had come from. Mary could even feel the conflicted hatred emanating from Bert beside her.

“Remember what we talked about.” She whispered. He seemed to settle a little bit, but he still wasn’t completely over it. But she knew not to press the matter further. She knew well enough that the only thing that would help him move on, was time and patience.

“I see you’ve already taken to caring for Finley.” She commented with a fond smile.

“Yeah, actually, that’s what I needed to ask you about. Do you know who brought him here? Because it wasn’t me and it wasn’t Esther either.” She quirked a brow at her as if she didn’t believe it.

“Really? How peculiar...”

“Surely it’s gotta have something to do with who Esther was?”

“I think you may be right, Bert.”

“Why? Who was she?” Jane asked. Mary sighed, already wishing she didn’t have to say. But when Michael and Jane sat down expectantly next to her, she knew there was there other option.

“We’ve done some research and found that the two of you were related to an Esther Jones. She was your aunt.” Jane and Michael sat in total dumbfounded silence as they stared at her in shock. There was no way they were related to someone like that. It couldn’t be true. It simply couldn’t be true!

“She married your mother’s brother. Though I can’t say I know why she’d be wanting to cause so much trouble.” A shiver ran down Jane’s spine, as she could practically feel a set of hands holding her by the shoulders, their film grip starting to hurt. She wanted to run away from everything so badly, but they didn’t let her even make a move. Couldn’t they just have a normal life? It’s not like they needed all of this supernatural rubbish to contend with on top of bills, work and a busy family life. And why on earth would the ghost of their dead aunt be trying to ruin her like this?! Part of her wanted to burst into tears, while the other half wanted to scream ‘screw you!’ at Esther from the roof of the house. In the end, the rage and misery merged into a total numbness, that left her merely sitting quietly as she tried to process what she was hearing.

“I suppose we should probably ask Winifred about this. We might be able to get a better idea of what’s been going on.” Everyone seemed to be in agreement on this, though Jane certainly didn’t want to jump back into Esther’s life so soon.

“I’m going to see to Finn first.” When nobody disagreed with her, she took it as a sign that they’d wait, so without any hesitation, she headed upstairs to spend some time with her son.

Although she certainly wasn’t ready to tell anyone, she was already feeling pretty down about missing Jack. She thought she’d moved past those thoughts of him. But now she was holding his son, and he looked just like him, and there was nothing that could stop the ‘what if’s and ‘I wish’s. She missed him so much. He should’ve been there. He should’ve been holding his little boy. It was his, just as much as it was hers. But of course, things had gotten a little too complicated, and now he didn’t have a father.

While she held her son in her arms, she couldn’t help but think what it would be like if he was still there. And if their son had been intended. If that were the case, they’d probably be married, and that thought alone was enough to make her smile and blush. He’d come up behind her and gently wrap his arms around her waist, resting his head in her shoulder. And in the comforting silence, he’d plant a kiss on her cheek as they admired the bundle of joy they’d brought into the world.

She couldn’t deny that the warm fuzzy feeling felt nice. Butterflies were whistling in her stomach as if she was crushing on a guy she was scared to ask out, when in reality, he was the guy she abandoned and left for dead. Hardly the type of person you’d expect to be in love with.

But the little boy was squirming slightly now, and she wanted nothing more but to make him comfortable. So she pushed her thoughts out of her mind, and fed her son, relishing in the feeling of his tiny hand reaching out to hold her finger. In those moments as her eyes fell over his face, she couldn’t help but admire his adorable features. While his hair and nose were definitely from Jack, it seemed the rest of his face was coming from Jane. He was too cute as he wriggled in her arms, and she couldn’t help but stare at the deep brown of his eyes. A deep chocolatey colour that was as soft as fur. Beautiful. When he grew up, she knew he’d have all the ladies swooning over him. He’d have a brilliant and hopeful mind if he had even a fragment of Jack’s personality. And if he was anything like Jane, he wouldn’t let anyone be treated unfairly. Would he have a magical imagination? Would he find an interest in politics? Would be be loud and bold? Or would he be calm and reserved? Whatever he was, he would be brilliant. He could change so much. He could make the world into what his parents had always hoped it could be. He could bring happiness to all the people in London and the world that were lacking anything of the sort. He could be so great. He would do so much.But for now, nothing was better than the warm little baby she held.

“I love you.”

But as she finished up feeding him and left the room, she never noticed the ghostly hand that almost grabbed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are far from over...


	19. Marbles

“And when they thought that we would settle, we threw rotten eggs at the prime minister. They knew they couldn’t keep us quiet then!” The four old ladies sat around laughing at her story.

“So of course then it was just a matter of keeping up with it until they finally gave us the vote.”

“Winifred, that’s brilliant.”

“Thank you Margret. Though I imagine you have some interesting stories from your campaigns.”

“Well we didn’t throw things at the prime minister, but a friend of mine did tie a sash to a horse in the races... it didn’t go well.” A few of them couldn’t help but giggle a bit at the way she told the story, even though they all remembered exactly what had happened.

“Well, I’m fairly certain Emmeline would be proud of the women today. Why, my daughter has been wearing trousers for years now, and she’s one of the leaders of the SPRUCE committee, fighting for workers rights.” Renee laughed,

“You can really tell she’s your daughter.”

“Mrs Banks?” One of the carers in the home was standing in the lounge doorway.

“Yes?”

“You have some visitors.” Winifred was pleasantly surprised by this as they didn’t usually visit on Fridays, but she wouldn’t grumble at the opportunity to spend more time with her family. So she bid her friends a fond farewell while she went to talk to them.

As soon as she stepped out, she saw a lot more than she expected to. Of course Michael was there, but so was Jane, which was quite a surprise since she hadn’t visited for a few months. And on top of that, Mary was there as well as that chimney sweep she was friends with. They all looked a little bit stressed, but happy to be there all the same.

“Hello mother,” Michael started, “I know this is a bit weird, but we really need to know something. Did you ever know a lady called Esther.” At the mere mention of her name, she frowned.

“Yes, I knew her,” she looked around the room, suspicious if anyone else in the care home would hear, “Come with me. It’ll be more private in my room.”

They followed her down the hall and into a small bedroom with cream walls and simple furniture. Once inside, she shut the door behind them and took a seat in the arm chair, while everyone else either stayed standing, or perched on the bed. She stayed quiet for long enough that Jane was about to ask her again, thinking her age was showing and she’d already forgotten the question. But before she could speak, her mother began,

“Esther Jones. Yes. She was my sister-in-law.”

“What was she like?”

“Well, I certainly didn’t approve of her joining the family. She wasn’t particularly lady-like.” This was quite a surprise to hear. The Banks women were never particularly lady-like, so for her to be so inappropriate that she annoys Winifred Banks, they knew she was bad. But, they didn’t need someone else to tell them that she was bad.

“I didn’t like her. No. Not at all. She tried on a few occasions to have s-e-x with your father.” Jane and Michael didn’t know whether to cringe at Esther’s antics, or to laugh at how their mother could barely stand to say the word.

“She always got into fights with everyone. I was almost glad when she finally died. Even if it was rather tragic.”

“How did she die?”

“A bad case of the flu got her in the end. And good riddance. She would’ve ruined our family if she was around any longer. You two certainly wouldn’t be here,” she said, gesturing to Jane and Michael, “she was determined to drive a wedge between myself and your father.”

“Thats not the only relationship she’s ruined.” Jane muttered, but before she even realised she had said it out loud, her mother got curious,

“What do you mean?” At this point, Jane and Michael were at a loss at how to explain their situation to her. How would you say that the ghost of your sister-in-law had possessed your daughter? While the siblings stayed quiet, Mary was able to find the words and found herself speaking for them.

“I’m afraid we’ve been having trouble with her spirit. And she seems to have made it her duty to make Jane’s life as difficult as possible.” Winifred’s face fell as she looked at her daughter with a painfully pitiful expression lacing her features. Mary needn’t say any more for her to know exactly what she was talking about.

“She controlled you, didn’t she?” Jane was more than a little surprised that her mother understood so easily, but judging by the look on her face, she probably wished she didn’t know what had happened.

“She did that to her own daughter too. Your cousin, Carmel, remember?” Jane was shaken at the memory. Their cousin had once been a lovely girl, but after getting the flu, she seemed to change. She’d been impossibly rude and fought anyone that tried to get close to her. Eventually, she became too much of a handful, and after she robbed their neighbour, she was sent away to boarding school, never to be seen again. Her father was sent a letter a few weeks later saying that she climbed and fell off the roof, killing her. They never knew it was Esther’s doing. But considering when Carmel changed, it was becoming more obvious how Esther was able to take control.

“I was rather hoping that after Carmel, that would be the last we’d see of her. I suppose I was wrong.”

“Then we need to be rid of her, permanently.” Mary’s statement turned the room cold in an instant, but nobody disagreed with her. Still, the thought that they would have to do something horrible to get rid of anyone, sent shivers racing down their spines.

“Well, my dear, good luck with that. I’m afraid I can’t help you, I would have no idea where to even start with any of that.”

“That’s not a problem, that just means we have a lot of research to be doing.”

“But if there’s anything you can tell us about her abilities,” Michael started, “it would be gratefully appreciated.” She thought for a moment, gathering a small list in her mind before she said anything more on the matter,

“Well, she can control people that are weak and vulnerable, but only partially unless they have same ailment as what killed her. And since she’s already a thing of the dead, she can’t permanently kill someone, just turn them into a spirit like her. And I’m fairly certain she can-”

“WHAT?” Bert’s sudden interest shocked everyone. But considering what he was so shocked about, his reaction was certainly justified. And as everyone else in the room realised what she had said, the possibilities for the future really began to sink in, “What do you mean, she can’t kill people?!”

“Well, as I said, she herself is already a spirit. She’s not a material being. So she can’t actually kill anyone. She can change them to be like her, but they won’t actually be dead like she is.” Bert almost choked on his own surprise as Jane fell on the verge of tears.

“I don’t understand, what happened?”

“She killed Jack,” Jane rambled, “she started a fire in his house and he didn’t make it out. There was a funeral and everything. I thought he was gone. We thought he was really dead.” Winifred was rather surprised by this outburst, more due to the fact that she didn’t know this Jack that they seemed to be so worked up about. But to know that they had mourned for someone they didn’t really need to, hurt her more than she ever expected it to. Bert and Mary were standing off to the side giving each other looks that seemed to share an entire conversation that only they could understand, while her children were looking at her with a desperate and pleading gaze to tell them what they were hoping to hear. And thankfully, she wouldn’t have to lie to do that.

“Then your friend is a spirit like Esther. But it’s a little more complicated than that. He’s not going to be nearly as strong as Esther and certainly couldn’t be seen by the naked eye or heard by our own ears. So he won’t be in the world of the dead, but the world of the spirits, those who were never able to truly die. So if you want him back, he needs to reclaim his body. But you’d have to help him with that. You need to open a passage between the spirit world and our own. Then he’ll be able to come through.”

“How do we do that?” Jane asked hastily.

“It’s rather simple actually. I could sort that out for you. But one of you will have to go in and get him.”

“I’ll do it!” Jane responded without hesitation.

“Alright then,” her mother began, “when you go in, you’ll have to find him. But that world has few residents and I imagine he’ll probably stay fairly local. Once you’ve found him, you must take him to his burial site so he can enter his grave and body, then you have to leave. And you must excavate the burial site as soon as possible after he has returned to his body, otherwise, you risk him suffocating. Then he’ll really be gone.” With each word out of her mother’s mouth, Jane absorbed it perfectly into her memory, determined not to forget a single step. If she really had a chance to fix things, she couldn’t get it wrong.

“Great,” she beamed, “how do we start?” They were all surprised by just how eager Jane was to do this. They knew she’d do anything to make up for Esther’s actions, but seeing her jump head on into something so strange and otherworldly, was still a bit of a shock. Had she not been through all that she had, she would certainly be a little more hesitant to do such a thing.

Winifred looked at her daughter in pure admiration of her bravery, eyes lighting up as she rummaged through some drawers of old trinkets she thought she’d never need, but had simply never gotten around to throwing away. In the bottom of the draw was an unusual beige crocheted draw-string pouch. She drew out the pouch as it clicked with its contents knocking against each other.

“This should do the trick,” she mused, opening the pouch and pulling out what looked to be a clear glass marble. “Are you ready?” Jane took a deep breath, taking the moment to mentally prepare herself for what was about to happen. But despite this, she wasn’t really ready for what her mother did when she said, ‘yes’.

Winifred’s face was blank as she dropped the marble onto the floor by her feet. As she passed the rest of the marbles to Jane, she smiled,

“You’re going to need this to get back.” With one swift movement, she pressed all her weight onto the small ball, as she stood on it. The marble shattered and crunched with a small pop of glass beneath her. And when she removed her foot, a blue mist shot out and swirled in from of them. The mist whizzed around at a ferocious speed, to the point where it’s wind was almost enough to form a tornado within the room. But as it spun, the circle it created began to fill with a molten-looking liquid, reflecting their faces like a mirror, until it faded to a new view. Looking through the portal, it seemed like the were just looking at the room normally, the only exception being that everything just seemed to have a dark layer over it, as if they were looking through black sunglasses. They could see how the light from the window fell in, but everything just seemed much more muted.

It was almost enough for Jane to want to back out, but she kept reminding herself why she was about to do this. Jack couldn’t be left because of her own actions. She had allowed things to get so out of hand, and now it was her duty to put it right. The thought that Jack would be able to meet his son was certainly one that was pushing her onwards, picking up her feet and forcing her forward into the dark world ahead of her. And as she took her first step inside, she could feel a tingling starting at her feet and fizzing up to her head to the point she thought she’d explode. But the feeling ceased as soon as her whole body passed the threshold. She could hear her family and friends wishing her ‘good luck’ behind her, but despite this, she couldn’t bear to look back, for fear she’d wind up getting scared and not wanting to leave them. With her eyes fixed straight ahead, she took one last breath before she began her search.

“Well, here we go.”


	20. Colour

Silence.

Yet again, she could only notice the silence.

A silence even more deafening than when her head was finally cleared.

When the portal sealed up behind her, she’d instinctively felt for the bag of marbles in her pocket, to reassure herself that they were there and that she could get back. But of course, they were still there. They hadn’t moved. After all, they were just a bag of marbles.

“Ok,” she told herself, “I can do this.” The world didn’t seem to change once she was in it. There still seemed to be a dark veil casted over an otherwise normal view. She was still in her mother’s room at the care home, but when she turned around to where the portal had once been, she couldn’t see anyone there. However, as she came closer to where they had been standing and really focused, she could just about see them and if she had a bit more energy, she may have even been able to reach out and touch them. But just seeing them seemed to drain her enough, and so she was hardly ready to try anything more than that.

As she took her first step forward, the floor seemed to change. In the moment she first made contact with the surface, all the outlines of each piece of the wood seemed to grow clearer, glowing in a myriad of colours, before disappearing after a few seconds like footprint along the beach. It was an astonishing sight, and as she kept walking, it continued. Anything she touched seemed to get these colourful lines, like the line work of one of Michael’s many drawings. It even seemed to work when she tapped the back of her hand, in a small radius, just encompassing the tips of her fingers, the glowing lines enveloped her, fading between multiple colours in different areas of her hand. She could barely manage to focus after noticing this unusual detail of the world around her, but after she’d spent a few more moments admiring the view, her brain revved up and kicked her back into reality again, reminding her as to why she was even there in the first place. So once again, she set off, trying not to be distracted by the colourful trail she left behind her.

She reached out to the door of her mother’s room and found her hand when straight through the handle. She tried again and again, before she pushed against the door, surprising herself as she found herself falling through the heavy wood. It was rather strange, and as she made her way through the hallway, she tried to put her hands through the walls and other decorations. Nothing seemed to move, but she couldn’t pass through them either. It seemed that she could only pass through something if she really needed to. And to confirm her theory, when she focused enough, her hand went right through the potted plant at the end of the hall.

As she left the care home, she was beginning to get used to her new environment, being able to pass through closed doors with ease. She decided, however, not to walk through walls to get out as it was quite tiring, and also got her lost very easily, as she passed through rooms that she had never seen before.

When she finally made it outside, she attempted to look up towards the sun. But she found there was no need to squint. That part of the sky was definitely lighter than the rest, but it wasn’t very bright. The light seemed to be glowing black, something she hadn’t really thought possible until she saw it. But there it was, ‘lighting?’ the sky as best as the darkness could.

She quickly took to wandering, but it seemed that she’d need to make her search a bit more logical. Jack has been gone for about 9 months. Chances are he’d travelled a bit in that time. She found herself going to the flat first. Even in the spirit world, it was still ruined. But what surprised her more was the fact it was still burning, although it was just a dark flickering shape. The fire wasn’t hot and it caused her no harm when she reached out to touch it. But it burned in a flickering macabre dance, flashing in an array of colours as soon as her hand was enveloped by the fire.

In an explosion of colour, the fire flared up, growing in size and ferocity. As the sparks jumped from the blaze, they landed on the floor by her side, and suddenly, things began to change. In the same way hers did, a set of footprints became visible, glowing in the colours she was becoming much more accustomed to seeing. But they weren’t hers. And they didn’t disappear. They seemed to follow a different path than the one she had taken, and in that moment, she guessed who’s they were and the only urge she had left was to follow them.

They seemed to meander around the apartment at first, before leaving and heading down into the street. She couldn’t follow the whole path that had been taken, 9 months of walking would be a lot to try and follow, so she skipped sections, jumping onto the other paths she saw, winding all over the city. She crisscrossed all over London for a while, but came to the conclusion very quickly, that this was definitely Jack’s steps that she was following, and as the path wore on, she began to realise a depressing truth about it.

It seemed that Jack had wandered London for a while, and he did go back to doing that every now and then, but he spent most of his time following his lighting route. The path had clearly been walked many times. She dreaded to think how many hundreds of times he’d compulsively wandered the same route every day. Around and around and around. It seemed that his first walk had been hopeful, as she could still make out the clearly defined steps of his first few passings, but the most recent rounds were a lot more exhausted, as he dragged his feet behind him. And there was a similar pattern on the lamps. There were clear hand and footprints higher up, where he had climbed the lamp without a ladder. But the most recent marks seemed to be where he just brushed his hand against the post from ground level, lacking any motivation to do anything more than just touch base.

Each step and each print was enough to tell a story. Despite being layered over one another over time, she could see through to each one individually and the state they were in. Some were a little more forceful as he grew frustrated with his predicament, while others seemed to have been placed while wet with his own tears. She could see each and every stage of his grief, until he finally accepted his fate. Giving in and tiredly wandering a world he didn’t belong in.

She couldn’t bear to think what the whole thing had done to him. Being alone for so long would be rough for anyone. But for someone as social as Jack, she could only imagine that the blow hurt even more. She couldn’t help but continue to blame herself for what he’d been through. Not only was it her fault he was there, it was her fault he hadn’t been able to leave. Once again, by failing to tell anyone, she’d let Esther do whatever she wanted. And in doing so, she’d abandoned the man she was supposed to love.

It felt like hours before she eventually heard footsteps in the silence. A soft padding followed by the dragging of feet across the pavement. As she rounded the corner, only a hundred yards ahead of her, there he was. Jack’s pace was painfully slow as his hand merely brushed against the lamps he passed, each time he did so, lighting the lamp in a joyful array of colour that extinguished itself after only a few seconds. She almost didn’t want to say anything. He was completely silent. He’d never been silent on his rounds; there was always a tune on his lips wherever he went, but this time, it seemed he’d run out of music and had instead taken to listening to the deathly silence that surrounded him. Deafening him to anything else around him. He was so locked into his own trance that she thought she’d never break through. Disturbing the silence he lived in seemed almost disrespectful. But of course, she had to.

“JACK!” Her shout definitely travelled to him. Being so used to the nothingness of the spirit world, he would’ve probably heard her if she whispered. Which is why the sudden noise seemed to shock him so much. But he didn’t turn around. He just froze. It was as if time had completely stopped, with his hand frozen as he had been midway through reaching out to the next lamp. She could hear his breathing pick up into a frenzied panic as she ran to catch up with him, and when she finally tried to lay her hand on his shoulder, he came to life again, only to violently flinch away from her touch, refusing all contact as he turned around to face her.

There was only a hint of any hope in his otherwise wide eyes. He stared at her in horror as his face grew pale. He looked to barely be able to hold up his own body and found himself almost stumbling backwards at the sight of her. His clothes hung, sagging over his weak and starving frame and the dark circles under his eyes were enough to tell her to add ‘tried’ to her list of adjectives. But when he found his voice, something he hadn’t used in months, he didn’t say what she was expecting,

“No, you’re not real. Go away!” His hoarse voice could barely hiss his words at her, but they still stung her. Had he really lost that much hope?

“Of course I’m real. I’ve come to bring you home.” Her pleading seemed to have no effect as she reached out to take his hand, but again, he wouldn’t let her touch him, pulling his hand away from her before she even got close.

“No you’re not. You’re in my head. I’m just hallucinating again.” He choked back a sob as the desperation for any kind of contact set in. But he didn’t want to let himself start talking to the figments of his imagination. He tried to walk away from her, shaking his head as if to try and clear his mind to make her go away, but it didn’t work. She kept following as he tried to pick up the pace. But after walking and tiring himself out for so long, he didn’t really have a chance. Only making him panic more.

“I’m real, honestly. I’m serious, Jack, it’s me!”

“Leave me alone, Esther!”

Esther?

What?

Was that what he saw now?

“Jack, I’m not Esther, she’s gone,” she choked on her own tears, finally starting to get overwhelmed, “I’m Jane. It’s ok. It’s me! It’s just me!” By now he had stopped, just holding his head in his heads and muttering to himself,

“It’s all in my head. It’s all in my head. It’s all in my head.” His eyes were squeezed shut as his breaths heaved in panicked bursts. Jane desperately tried to speak again, to do anything to reassure him, but by now he was no longer listening. She couldn’t leave him like this, so she tried one more time to make him believe.

“Jack,” she forced her voice to stay calm and soft this time, all the panic gone, though there was still a hint of concern there. She reached up to where his hands had ran up his head and into his hair, blocking his face with his forearms. “It’s alright,” she assured, taking his hands in her own and pulling them away. He didn’t try to fight. He only looked at her hands in amazement, like he couldn’t remember what it was like to experience physical contact. “It’s me, Jane.” She forced a smile for him as he stared at her hands, brushing his thumbs gently over her knuckles, savouring the feeling of another person. His breath caught and almost choked him when he realised,

“You’re really here...” his movement was sudden and much faster than she’d ever known him to be capable of, even if he hadn’t been in this situation. But somehow, his relief and excitement were enough to be able to pull her into the strongest and most desperately needed hug she’d even known a person give. His breathing was jittery as they held each other, savouring the feeling of the other person. It was the sweetest thing she’d felt in a while, and in that moment, it seemed like everything was going to be alright after all.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” He said, smiling for the first time, “I never thought I’d see anyone again!”

“Well, I can get you out of here too.” His expression changed into one of total shock at the very prospect of going home.

“You- can?”

“Yeah. You need to go back to your grave. Everyone’s there ready to dig you out when get in.”

“Wait, get in?”

“You have to get back into the coffin so you can go back to the real world and they can get you out.” Jack seemed very unsure of what to do, looking around as if looking for assurance from someone, even though there was nobody there to give any.

“It’ll be fine,” she assured, “Mary’s there. She knows what to do. And Bert’s there too.” At that mention, Jack seemed to perk up a bit, feeling a little more confident in what he was about to do. Even though he’d been wandering the spirit world of London, he felt like he’d been trapped in his coffin the entire time, slowly choking to death again and again and again. And so the idea of physically getting back into it was one that sent shivers down his spine and drowned him in dread. He didn’t want to do it, but he couldn’t bear to be alone any longer. And the thought of being back with Bert, was definitely a sweet one. So as he took a hesitant breath, he forced all the courage he could,

“Ok, let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly late today, but here we go. Have a nice day!


	21. He Never Said

They were definitely ready. It would be more of a surprise if they weren’t. After Jane passed through the portal, Winifred had told them all about what they had to do. So at that moment, Mary, Michael and Bert were stood in the cemetery, armed with shovels and a crowbar (in case the lid gave them some difficulty), ready to dig. They had to wait until Jack had gone back to his body before they could start, but they’d have to be quick. Chances were that he’d lose consciousness from a lack of oxygen before they got to him, if the soil was particularly solid, so they were also ready to need to resuscitate him.

One thing they hadn’t been ready for, was the weather. It had taken a cold sharp turn and it looked like it would start raining in the next few hours. But none of them were about to complain. They had all gotten too focussed, staring at the headstone for any sign that they should begin the rescue. It seemed a little disrespectful to be digging up a grave, but after everything they’d seen, it was probably the most normal thing they’d dealt with.

Of the four of them, it was no surprise that Bert was the most nervous. He hadn’t seen the lad in quite a few years. He’d left not long after the war when Jack started work and he had to admit, he definitely felt bad doing so, even when Jack had assured him that it was alright. He’d only intended to be gone for a year at most. But the next thing he knew, it had been almost 20 years since he’d lived in England for longer than a few weeks. He’d missed a lot of Jack’s life and knew he couldn’t make up for that, but hell would freeze over the day he abandoned him completely. And now, he was ready to do anything to bring his apprentice- no, his son- back.

Out of nowhere, there was a flash. A light trying to push through from under the ground. And a strange sound, like something had imploded. It was for just a second, but the signal was clear enough. And it was even clearer when Jane broke another marble to pass back through to their world. The time had finally come.

Without hesitation, they had practically thrown themselves into digging, Bert taking the brunt of the work, covering the most vertical distance, while Michael and Mary cleared out the edges of the hole so the coffin could actually be opened when they got to it. Within the coffin, they couldn’t really hear anything, but as they got closer, they began to hear panicked breathing and Jack banging on the lid. Bert’s descent became much more rapid, but as he tossed the soil behind him and got closer, the sound began to fade, until absolutely nothing could be heard.

After way too long, Bert reached the heavy wooden lid. Clearing the rest of the dirt away, he wrenched the coffin open, with a fair bit of difficulty as he had to stand on it at the same time. It was an awkward system to get it open as he stood on the edge, but he managed it, just about. And once he’d made it inside, he was very quick to check over his son.

He appeared to be mostly alright. He was missing any physical injuries that he absolutely should’ve had from the fire. But there were no burns, no breaks, his skin was completely unmarred despite everything. He looked a little pale, but that was understandable considering he’d been locked underground for nine months. And although his spirit reuniting with his body seemed to have undone the worst of any starvation, he was definitely looking pretty underweight to Bert.

As Winifred had suspected he would, he’d lost consciousness. So without a moment of hesitation, he picked Jack up, and passed him up to Mary, Michael and Jane, who were stood by the edge of the hole. The three of them managed to bring him out, before laying him out on the ground, as Bert clambered out of the hole again, eyes wide and breaths quick as Jack lay completely motionless.

“Is he ok? Is he alright?!” Bert was met with no answer other than Mary trying to resuscitate the leerie. Michael and Jane quickly moved out of the way for Bert to get past, kneeling by Jack’s side as Mary continued trying to bring him around.

“Come on, come on, come on.” Mary may have made a comment about Bert’s unhelpful muttering, but she was too preoccupied to care, and although she wouldn’t admit it, her inner monologue was rambling just as much as the old sweep was. As the four of them kept their eyes fixed on him, hoping that any moment, Jack would wake up, they desperately tried not to lose hope as the seconds dragged on into the longest minute they’d ever experienced. But, finally, the leerie’s eyes opened, as he started coughing and frantically trying to catch his breath.

“Give him some space!” Mary’s command was immediately obeyed, as the four of them backed up and stopped crowding him, giving Jack a chance to breath again. It was certainly a relief for them to see him awake again, and as his breathing began to slow down again, Bert was once more at his side to comfort him.

“Thank god you’re ok.” Bert felt Jack flinch slightly when he put his hand on his shoulder, but when he realised who it was, he relaxed again immediately and accepted his help in sitting up. And although he was fairly calm, that didn’t stop Bert from pulling him into a hug and having to fight back the powerful urge to cry, although it still seemed to choke him up a little,

“I thought I’d never see you again! Are you ok? You’re not hurt are you?” Bert once more found himself looking over the leerie, terrified he’d find something seriously wrong now that he was awake. But Jack just smiled, taking the chance to speak for the first time,

“I’m fine. I’m ok.” This moment of calm also gave Jack a chance to properly take in his surroundings for the first time, noticing that Michael and Jane were there, and much to his surprise, Mary. He hadn’t expected her to want to return to them all again. Jane seemed to look a little uncomfortable as she did her best to try and hide behind Michael as casually as possible, so as not to be noticed. But Jack wasn’t too focussed on that. Despite everything, and even the fact that he was sat in a graveyard, he was still happiest to see Bert. It had been a few years since he last visited and so the sight of the man was enough to make him feel that all was right with the world.

“We better be getting back then, here,” Bert said, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around Jack for some extra warmth. The rest of the group seemed in agreement, so, much to Jack’s surprise, Bert picked him up and they set off. He was quite surprised the old sweep could lift him without too much difficulty, but when he considered the sort of adventures he would go on while on his travels, it made a lot of sense that he’d still have so much strength despite his age. And Jack was also pretty grateful that he did it at all. After 9 months of his body being made to lie down in a coffin, he didn’t quite feel ready to try walking again.

The journey back was a pretty rushed one, since the rain had continued to threaten to pour, and as they arrived back to Cherry Tree Lane, they could even hear thunder in the distance. By that point, Jack had also fallen asleep in Bert’s arms, the exhaustion finally getting to be too much on his weakened body. So Bert carried him up to the guest room, to get him settled, while everyone else was left to a game of musical beds. Bert set up to sleep on the armchair by Jack, while Jane shared Michael’s bed, and Mary used her usual room just off from the nursery. Thankfully, Ellen had managed to get all the children into bed before they got back (even Finn), so they had a pretty easy job getting settled down for the night.

That is, everyone except for two people.

Bert found himself unable to sleep and spent much of his time staring up at the ceiling, reflecting on everything that happened, when Jane entered the room with the same problem. They both still couldn’t believe that they’d gotten Jack back again and found themselves sitting near the bed, listening to him breathing, just to make sure they hadn’t dreamt the whole thing.

The night had fallen completely silent as they sat there against the wall, each of them wondering what was to come next. For Jane, she didn’t even know where she’d start. When Jack woke up, he could stay or leave and she couldn’t bear the thought of using Finn to force him to stay. He seemed to have been glad to see her when she first found him, but at the same time, it was likely that that was only because she was the first person he’d seen in months. She’d done a lot to him and it wouldn’t be a huge surprise if that had been a deal breaker for their relationship, even if he knew it was mostly Esther’s fault. 

And what about Esther? Mary said she could come back again at any point in the future. So what were they meant to do about that? Were they just going to have to wait until she took over someone else? Or was there some way to actually stop her? The thoughts drove her mad, so much so that she forget where she was for the moment.

It was only when Bert got up to have a drink of water from the cup he’d left himself on the set of drawers, that she was brought back to reality. Jane found herself watching him, wondering how he was so calm about the whole thing. Or at least, be able to pretend he was. He’d been seething in his place when she had first spoke to him and Mary after Esther was gone. Yet now, he seemed to not be bothered in the slightest by her, even though they had been sitting right next to each other.

“How did you meet him?” Her question was so sudden she even surprised herself, wondering if it had actually been her that had asked, or if maybe Esther or some other spirit had decided she should be controlled again. And Bert seemed just as surprised. It was only when she looked over to Jack’s sleeping form, that he realised what she had meant.

“Oh, well, he was my apprentice.” Bert looked a little dodgy as he came back to where he’d been sat. She’d heard that Jack worked for him, but from the story she was told, it seemed like he was pretty young at the time, younger than she thought someone should be to start work as a chimney sweep.

“I know that, but he was so young, unless you were stuffing him up the chimney, I can’t imagine he was just working.” Bert’s eyes widened at the very prospect of being accused of something like that. He realised that it definitely sounded like he was breaking the law, but he would never have even thought to do such a thing. Sighing, his gaze fell back on Jack, wondering whether or not he even wanted to tell her.

“I used to take him to work with me, just because I had nowhere else I could send him. That’s why he started saying he was my apprentice. And over the years, I guess he was. But I was more like a father to him. He’s never been too comfortable calling me ‘dad’, and I assume it’s something to do with his real family. But he’s never really told me much about that.”

“What do you mean? I would’ve thought you’d know more about him than anyone.” Bert paused again before he answered her,

“Honestly, nobody knows much about him. He’s always been very secretive about where he came from. But I always thought it was best not to ask. That it was none of my business and I didn’t need to know.”

“So, what, did he come to you looking for work, or something?” Jane asked, still trying to get him to answer her initial question.

“I wish it had been that simple,” he forced a small laugh, but that quickly shifted to a look of pity as he recalled their meeting, “I’d been walking through an alley and tripped over a box, it made a noise, and when I checked, I found a little boy inside.” His gaze fell on Jack again as he thought how much he’d changed since then. “He’d been so much smaller then. Unhealthily so. He looked to be about 10 or 12, but his growth had definitely been stunted to a certain degree. It’s probably why he’s not particularly tall now.”

“Was it really that bad?” Bert only nodded, before going quiet again for a minute. He could feel himself getting emotional at the memories, but he didn’t want to lose his composure fully.

“Poor lad was half dead. I dread to think how long he’d gone without eating. He was sick, and when I tried to help, he cried and tried to run away.” Choking up slightly, Bert felt Jane’s hand on his, trying to comfort him as best she could, but urging him to continue at the same time.

“Well, I eventually got him to calm down. Took me nearly an hour to coax him out from behind the boxes he’d hidden among. But when I tried to talk to him, he didn’t understand. He didn’t speak any English.” Jane was quite surprised at the thought, but didn’t say anything. “For nearly a year we could only talk to each other through pictures. And that first day was the only time he’s ever said anything about his family.”

“What did he say?”

“I’d drawn a house with some chalk, a smaller figure as him and two larger ones as his parents. And he seemed to understand what I was asking. But he just cried. And when I passed him the chalk, he crossed it all out.” The thought that Jack’s childhood could be so miserable was something she had never expected. He always seemed so happy, and the idea of him being left half dead in an alley made her sick.

“We never talked about it again. I taught him English and got him educated, and life went on as if he was my own flesh and blood. And he always seemed to be happy, so I thought there was no need to bring it up since it didn’t seem to ever bother him. Still, I do wonder somethings, what happened to him to leave him like that. I still don’t even know what language he was speaking!” A sense of guilt began to flood him. It was as if he never even got to know him properly. “I guess that’s why I’ve always been so protective of him. He’d been so weak and scared, and still feels like he needs to hide himself even today. And the fact that he trusted me enough, that day, to even talk to him, is something I’ll never forget.”

“Do you wish he’d tell you more?”

“Of course. I’ve no idea if he ever really dealt with his past, but I assume he didn’t or else he wouldn’t feel such a need to hide it. If he would tell me, I’d be able to help. But I don’t know if he ever would.”

The conversation very quickly fell to silence. Jane knew she could try reassuring Bert that Jack would tell him one day, but she couldn’t be sure it would happen. And she didn’t think there was much point in lying to try make him feel better. So she said nothing, and Bert said nothing too, having come to the end of his story. She didn’t like to think about Jack the way Bert knew him. It just felt... wrong. Jack wasn’t a gloomy person, he was always so cheerful and kind. He didn’t deserve the cruelty the world had provided. He didn’t need it from his past. He didn’t need it from society. And he certainly didn’t need it from her. There was so much she could’ve done differently. But she didn’t even think about anyone else but herself. It was always ‘what will happen to ME?’, ‘what are they going to think about ME?’, ‘why is this happening to ME?’ Jack was probably asking all the same questions while Esther was around. And she never thought to wonder about how HE felt.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?” Bert was more than a little startled by her sudden apology, considering they’d been silent at that point, for several minutes.

“About Jack. I could’ve done something more. But I let Esther run rampant and only worried about my reputation. I didn’t even think about what she’d do to anyone else. And because of that, you, Jack, and everyone else had had deal with something you never deserved.” When Bert didn’t respond, she thought he might be holding a grudge, but finally, as he ran a hand through his thinning hair, he spoke again,

“I suppose I can’t blame you as much as I have been. Even though we could both sit here and say you should’ve done more, we both know it wouldn’t have been that easy. It wouldn’t have done anyone any good if you ended up in an asylum or locking yourself up at home all the time. I suppose, really, I should be saying sorry for holding a grudge. You didn’t deserve that.”

Jane was speechless. She had no idea at all how she was meant to respond to that. She could’ve been sure he’d be more angry at her than that. But at the same time, he hadn’t been there to see any of it. He probably didn’t even know the worst of what went on. But that didn’t stop her from feeling any better that she appeared to have been forgiven. She could only hope Jack would have the same reaction. But even if he didn’t, he had the right to feel that way. If life had been so cruel to him, he deserved to throw away anything that was causing it. And if that meant her, then so be it. All she wanted, was for him to do what made him happy with his life, even if it meant she couldn’t be a part of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I’m posting a little late today. I got busy and forgot it was Saturday. Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading!


	22. We Can Try It Again

Why is everything so dark? What’s going on?! Hello! Is anyone there? This isn’t funny. You’re scaring me now. Come on. Seriously. What’s going on?

Wait. 

Who are you?

Esther!?

What are you doing here?! No! Get away from me! Leave me alone! I don’t know where he is! I’m not lying! I already told you! I don’t know where he is! Wait! STOP!!

.

.

.

.

.

... I’m coming back. You can count on it.

Howling winds were finally beginning to die down. For several minutes it had been quiet. And that was about the time the chimney sweep began to stir. When Bert woke up, Jane had already left. She’d only stayed for a few minutes after he had fallen asleep, before she retired to bed herself. The clock said it was 5:30, but he hadn’t really noticed. All he realised was that the sun was just about trying to rise. The world certainly hadn’t woken up yet, but he had. And now there was no point in trying to get back to sleep.

He shuffled around the room, in a quiet attempt to reach the glass of water he left on the dresser, without waking the sleeping leerie. But his silence made it much easier to notice any movement Jack made. So when Jack rolled over, Bert noticed.

And when he rolled over again. And when he started breathing heavily. When he started mumbling to himself. And when his features twisted to a look of fear. He spotted every move. Which is why he was so quick to be by his side again to wake his son from his nightmare.

“Jack. Jack! Wake up.” He tried not to be too loud, for fear of making it worse, but that only meant that Jack didn’t hear him. It was only when he gave his arm a squeeze that his eyes flung open and he sat up like a bolt of lighting, yanking his arm away from Bert as if he’d been burnt.

“Get off me!” His frantic command came as a sudden shock, but to avoid startling him any further, Bert did exactly as he was told and let him shuffle away as far from him as possible, without falling off the bed. His eyes were wild as they darted left and right, his heaving breaths still choking him. It was only when Jack realised he’d been dreaming and had taken a chance to drink in his surroundings, that he finally started to calm down.

“You’re alright,” Bert assured, “it’s just me.” Jack was able to look at him slightly less fearfully in that moment, which Bert took as a sign he’d be ok to touch him. He slowly placed his hand over Jack’s own trembling one, and as he didn’t flinch, they stayed like that, Bert watching Jack’s breathing as it evened out, and Jack staring at a fixed point on the floor, clearly feeling uncomfortable to make any form of eye contact. It was a solid minute before either of them wanted to break the silence.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Jack’s eyes never raised from the floor, staring intently at nothing in particular.

“It was Esther. She came back and she- she wanted to know where he was. She said I stole him. I had to lie. I had to!” By now he was hyperventilating again, “She said she’d make me pay. She said I’d be sorry. She’ll hurt me. I didn’t know she’d be this angry! I’m sorry!” Jack’s panicked ramblings were interrupted by Bert’s hands trailing up his body and taking ahold of his face, forcing him to look him in the eyes. Bert couldn’t bear to see him like this. That vulnerable look was one he knew all too well. And hell would freeze over the day he let Jack believe he was alone, like he did all those years ago.

“Jack. Listen. She’s not going to do anything to you. EVER. And I’m going to make sure of it. I’m not going to rest until she is gone for good. And that’s a promise.” Jack’s eyes switched from looking at Bert, to looking at the floor, finding his assuring gaze a little too much to handle at that moment. It had been quite a while since he’d seen another person, and he certainly wasn’t sure how deal with that. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t grateful. Bert’s words were enough to bring him to the verge of tears, as he reached up and held onto his hands where they rested against his cheeks.

“I don’t know what to do. She said she’d come back.”

“Good.” Bert said, “gives me a chance to kick the living daylights out of her.” That was enough to make Jack crack a smile, to which Bert responded by trying to keep it there.

“Last time I saw her, I showed her who’s boss for you. She’s not going to want to mess with any of us.” He joked, “it’s all just talk.” By now, the sad smile became a little lighter, even offering a small laugh.

“There’s my Laughy-Jacky.” He giggled, pulling him into a hug that Jack would be a fool to refuse. It was a huge relief to see Jack start smiling again, so Bert was quick to fill him in on how they beat Esther. And of course, being a master storyteller like he was, he was able to add a whole new sense of whacky theatricality to the tale, without taking away from what happened. The result: Jack was in hysterics as he watched Bert prancing around the room like a jester. Bert always enjoyed making people smile, but when it was someone close to him, it was always particularly special. In those hours before the rest of the world awoke, it was just like it used to be. Jack and Bert against the world. The world began to wake up around them, but they were undisturbed, lost in their own little world together. And it couldn’t have been any better.

So of course, when they were inevitably interrupted, it killed the mood pretty quickly. But that was mainly due to who had interrupted their moment.

“I see you’re doing alright.” Jane stood in the doorway to the guest room. She managed to smile and force a light tone as she spoke, but when they looked at her, she immediately lost all confidence as she realised what she was doing. Bert remained mostly casual, but Jack didn’t even want to look at her, choosing to keep his head down, only glancing in her direction every few seconds.

“Yeah, he seems much better than last night.” There was a few long seconds of silence before anyone found the courage to say anything again.

“I just wanted to let you know that Ellen made breakfast downstairs.”

“Oh good,” Bert smiled, “I’ll go bring it up.” Bert left the room trying to be as casual as possible and although he had already talked things through with Jane, that didn’t stop him feeling a little apprehensive leaving her alone with Jack. After all, he hadn’t even had a chance to ask him how he felt about the whole situation. But he’d said he’d go. He’d committed himself to it now. So without much more thought, he headed down.

Jane almost followed him. Part of her said she may as well. It was very unlikely that he’d be ready to see her again yet. But at the same time, if she didn’t do it now, would she ever? Mary had pulled her aside that morning. All she had said was ‘today or never’ and nodded to the stairs, but she got the message and had headed up. But even though Mary was expecting them to talk, it didn’t really mean she wanted to.

“So, um, you doing alright?”

“Yeah. More or less. I thought being in a coffin for so long would be a bit more damaging.” She laughed at that, in the hopes to ease some tension, but it wasn’t enough for her to want to actually enter the room, and she found herself standing in the doorway, talking to him at a distance. Or not talking. As she couldn’t think of anything to say for a solid minute to ease them into things.

“You had us worried when we got you out. You weren’t breathing for quite a while.” Jack laughed, scratching the back of his neck,

“Honestly, I don’t really remember anything from last night.”

“Oh, right.” Jane didn’t really know what to say then. She had hoped maybe they’d talk about how she helped get him back so that he wouldn’t hate her as much. But if he didn’t remember, there was no point in trying to paint herself as a hero. He wouldn’t believe her. So that only left her with her other topic of conversation: the mess that happened before all of that. And that was a little more difficult to discuss.

“Hey, Jack. I know I let a lot of stuff happen before. And it was really stupid of me to keep you in the dark about it. It’s just that-” Jack already looked like he knew what was coming. Like he knew she was going to try and defend herself. And by now, he was just disappointed. It was all he ever seemed to hear from her. All this time, she’d been trying to tell herself it was her fault for letting it go so far, but as she looked at him, she just couldn’t say it. She didn’t want him to hate her. He was someone she couldn’t allow herself to lose. But at the same time, she knew he’d be more inclined to hate her if she started to list reasons why the things she did were actually right to do. She couldn’t fool him. She couldn’t even fool herself. She shouldn’t have let Esther have so much freedom. She shouldn’t have trusted her. That was all HER fault. Not Esther’s.

“Look.” She breathed, trying to start over again. “I know you probably hate me. And I don’t blame you. I deserve it. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. Even if it doesn’t mean anything to you now.” She assumed Jack had expected a defence, as he seemed a little surprised by her apology. But that didn’t mean he was overjoyed. In fact, he stopped looking at her entirely, instead starting to fiddle with the seams on the edge of the bed’s quilt. He didn’t really know what else to do. He certainly hadn’t been prepared to have this conversation. But then again, he’d probably never have been prepared. So he just kept his eyes down as he scurried around in his own head, looking for something he could say.

“I know it wasn’t you who did all that. But it’s just- it’s hard to tell myself it wasn’t really you. Every single thing had your name attached for so long. And it’s just really hard to ignore it.” Jane was glad it wasn’t as bad as she’d initially thought, giving herself enough confidence to actually walk into the room and come over to his bed, where he sat.

“I totally understand that. It feels weird even to me. Like we were actually the same person then. But now that she’s gone, I just hope I can make it up to you. And maybe we’ll be able to actually talk to each other again.” For the first time, Jack was able to actually look at her, though he still seemed a little unsure.

“Ok, but it might be a while. It’s still kinda hard for me to want to trust you again.”

“That’s totally fine,” she assured, glad that he at least still liked her enough to not wish her dead, “we don’t have to be as close as we were. Hell, we don’t even have to be friends if you don’t want that. All I hope, is that we can be civil.” Jack nodded,

“Ok. That sounds good.” It wasn’t perfect, things weren’t even good. But after so much, the fact that he didn’t want to try to hit her, was something Jane found herself happily savouring. It would certainly be tough to deal with, and it may take a long time before they’d ever be slightly close with each other again, but the fact that they were making progress, was enough for her. So, with a smile, she looked at him, and he looked at her, both finally being able to without so much difficulty. And maybe one day, they would know each other again.


	23. Someday

The day had started in a rather bland way. Jack had been in the Banks house for two days now. He didn’t venture outside the safety of the guest room very often, as he found his legs were still rather weak from such a long period without use. But thankfully, the ability to walk was coming back to him. He got about as much rest as he could before he started to lose his mind. After all, he wasn’t usually the type to stay in one place for very long. But thankfully, while he’d been mostly immobile, everyone had been very considerate, and he found that he didn’t have to spend much time alone.

The children had been particularly happy to stay in the room with him, even if they were just sat playing on the floor. Michael and Mary had both been a great help and spent a lot of time chatting to him over a cup of tea, and even Jane seemed to have overcome her initial fear of him, also joining him for long periods of time to talk about anything and everything. He’d probably talked about every topic imaginable in all that time, which is why he was grateful to also do something more than just talk.

Jack was a man of movement. He was always on his way somewhere, and thanks to Bert, he’d been getting back on his way. With an arm slung around him for support, Bert had started helping him walk again. At first it was only him getting up, walking around the bed and sitting down again on the other side. But it had quickly escalated from there. Thankfully, whatever magic had aided his return and recovery, had acted pretty quickly, and Jack got back into the swing of things pretty fast. It hadn’t been long before he managed to tackle the stairs and soon after that, he was walking mostly unaided.

It was around this time that the leeries found out about him. Yatesy had been covering his route until a more permanent replacement could be found, so when he spotted Jack in the window, you can imagine his amazement. He had immediately ran to the door to see him, and although he’d never admit to it, he definitely cried when they were united. And of course, he had to tell everyone, so it was Mary’s idea for Jack to take his first big trip outside and go to the leerie office to see his friends.

And that was certainly an interesting experience. All it took was one phone call for word to get out, and it was then only an hour before everyone in the Worthing company, including Worthing himself- who had made the trip from Gravesend specifically for the occasion- had made it to the office, just in time for Jack to show up and be mobbed with their love and affection. I bet you’ve never seen a room of over 50 grown men that were almost all crying.

It had been a weird one to try to explain how he’d survived that fire, after all, everyone had been there and saw what happened. But as Bert had come along too, everyone was happy enough with his explanation. After all, everyone knew the sort of magical things he’d seen. It had been nearly an hour of hugging and cheering before they decided to turn in for the night, and Bert and Jack headed back to the house.

There was another situation they knew they would have to face, however, that meant Jack’s reappearance would be a little more suspicious. Michael wished he was in a position of enough power to sort out Jack with a new flat without so much hassle, but when a dead man rises and starts house-hunting, the bank would find it questionable to say the least. Mary had been quick to say she’d probably be able to help deal with it all, but for the moment, they were just happy that he was recovering.

It had been surprisingly smooth sailing since they dug him up. And it was after Jack was freely walking that Jane could no longer hide her little secret.

Jack had been just about to go to bed, as it was almost half nine. Jane had been acting a little weird ever since he came back. She’d told him that she was comfortable around him, yet she seemed to be avoiding him a lot, as if she was hiding. He’d been considering it for a while at this point. So when he heard the sudden sound of a crying child, something clicked.

Carefully, he padded out of the room and across the hall. That pained wailing was something he was sure he’d heard before. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t think for the life of him where from. The cot was set up in Michael’s room, which was void of any other life at the time. And as he came closer, something inside him was trying to wake up, screaming at him that he knew who this was.

The small little baby was kicking we’re he lay, completely inconsolable as he wiggled around and grabbed at his feet. The little tuft of black hair should’ve been a big enough indication, but it was only when he picked him up and calmed him down again that he remembered everything. Of course. How did he ever forget?

Behind him, Jane was frozen. As soon as she made it to the door, her heart sank. She’d been too slow to get there. And now he knew. She stared in horror as he turned around, having heard her come in. And the only way she could describe his expression, was confused.

There was several long seconds when neither of them said anything, because they didn’t know what could be said. Their eyes were simply fixed on each other in total shock as they tried desperately to grasp what was going on. Neither of them wanted to react, for fear of what the other would think. But of course, they couldn’t just stand still forever.

“I can explain.”

“I already know. It’s from that night in the pub, isn’t it?” Jane looked ashamed of herself as her eyes dropped to the floor, nodding.

“She didn’t force you, did she?”

“No, of course not. I wanted to- I mean- I was drunk, so- no wait, hang on-” Jack very quickly found himself rambling as he tried to come up with an answer that didn’t insult her, embarrass them, or make it look like he was raped. But it was a difficult thing to say.

“It’s ok, I get it.” The two of them shifted awkwardly where they stood. Jane was quite glad she didn’t have Esther’s memories, as it would make things a lot more uncomfortable. And although Jack had been drunk at the time, he remembered a fair bit of the evening, which is why he couldn’t help going bright red when the topic had come up.

“So, this is my son?” He already knew the answer, but he could hardly believe it. It was as if no amount of confirmation could ever be enough.

“Yep,” she forced a smile, “he’s definitely got your nose.” Jack couldn’t help but laugh, noticing that he definitely had his most distinctive feature, “Michael said that someone dropped him at the doorstep in the middle of the night, he had a leather bracelet that said-”

“Finn.” Jane was more than a little surprised that Jack already knew, but as the gears in her head began to turn, everything started to make sense to her.

“My memory’s still a little foggy from when I was gone. But I can just about remember that. I had to use every ounce of strength I had to pass through to this world and take him away from her. I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again. Hell, I didn’t even know if they’d take him in or not.” Jane found herself staring in utter disbelief at Jack, as he looked upon his son with a fondness she’d never seen before. She hadn’t expected him to already know so much, so much more than even she did. And that face! A look absolute love. She could’ve sworn he wouldn’t’ve taken it so well. But after having so long to think about it while he was trapped in another world, it really shouldn’t have come as so much of a surprise that he’d come to terms with it. But as she didn’t notice the expression she held while she thought, Jack was left wondering whether or not she didn’t like the name he’d given him.

“I only started calling him Finn so the others could have something to call him.” He continued, tensing slightly, “you can change it if you don’t like it.” Snapping herself out of her little daydream, she spluttered out,

“Oh, no, I love the name! Sorry, I was just thinking about something else.” He quirked a brow slightly, urging her to go on, “It’s just that I wasn’t sure when to tell you. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to like me again because of him. If you want nothing to do with him or me, I really don’t mind. Don’t think you need to-”

“No, it’s ok. I’d love to be part of his life.” Her eyes were drawn to his. There was a sincerity that she almost didn’t believe was really there. But there it was. He was actually happy to have him. He didn’t care about anything in the past, just that the child in his arms was really his. Someone that he could love and cherish forever.

“Really? But won’t people think it’s strange that we’re not married? And they’ll already think we’re a weird couple to have a son together.”

“Well they can mind their own business. It’s got nothing to do with anyone else.” Finn started wriggling around at that point, starting to cry again, as Jane sighed,

“I better go get his bottle.” With that, Jane hurried out of the room, leaving Jack to comfort his crying son. It was hard to believe that he actually had a child. There was no way he could ignore it now. Day in, day out, he would be working with the purpose of keeping someone else well fed. He’d normally only have to worry about supporting himself, and he did worry. So how was he going to support a child when he went hungry multiple times a week as it is? Of course, he wasn’t the only person who’d be looking after him, but still. A father should be able to provide for his children, no matter his profession.

He couldn’t help but wonder what Bert must have thought of him. People tended not to look to kindly upon people having children outside of marriage. And Mary, yikes, someone who’s so prim and proper would probably have a lot to say on the matter too. But he said it himself, they can mind their own business. Still, that didn’t make it any easy to put into effect. He didn’t like upsetting people, he hated to disappoint. So having so many eyes on him all the time, judging him... how long would he last, really? Yes, he’d said he wanted to be a part of his life, but he wasn’t exactly ready.

But as he looked to where Jane had been, he realised, she wasn’t ready either. He’ll, she was probably less prepared than he was. At least he’d been conscious at the time, Jane wasn’t able to make her own decisions. She technically wasn’t there. So really, she’d need the most support. And although he couldn’t say he knew if he could provide it, he was certain of one thing. He was going to do everything in his power to try. His own father wasn’t around, which meant it was all the more important for him to be around for his own son. And in thirty years when he would be moving on with his own life, getting his own partner and maybe even thinking about settling down to start a family of his own, Jack would be able to say wholeheartedly that he did everything in his power to make his life as good as it could possibly be. And that time was sure to come, someday.


	24. A Cup Of Tea And A Good Story

When the stars were shining, people usually felt pretty hopeful. Wondrous, even. Twinkling balls of flaming gas millions of miles away that seemed to have the sole purpose of lighting the way for another. Keeping away the bad people, the monsters. Maybe that’s why on this particular night, there were no stars in the sky. Not one. Every single one had been swallowed whole by the cloudy night, replacing the magic of the evening with an unforgettable sense of dread. Anything can happen in the dark.

Most people in London would have never even noticed such a thing, what with it being so late at night. The few who were outside in such small hours were ones who were too out of it to even notice the sky above them, or the ground below them for that matter. Maybe that’s why they stumbled so much as they made their way home from the pub. And of course, though a few intoxicated souls wandered the streets, most of London instead chose to sleep. Preferring the ability to actually be able to drag themselves out of bed again in the morning, hangover free and fully awake (or as close as you can be at seven o’clock in the morning).

So it comes as no surprise that the inhabitants of number 17, and the whole street, in fact, were all fast asleep that night. It had been pretty busy for the last while, as friends were reunited and family met for the first time. As whole new worlds and situations were established, for the people in need of them had outgrown their old lifestyle. It had once again been a game of musical beds, though they hoped that wouldn’t last much longer. Once things were figured out with Finn, Jane planned to move back into her old flat, while Jack and Bert would be getting a place together until they’d got something a bit more definite sorted out. After all, Bert still hadn’t decided fully whether or not he’d stay in London, and things were still rather complicated for Jack. And of course, it was only a matter of time until Mary would have to leave, being swept away by the wind to go to the next place in need of her assistance. She’d already taken far too long off work for her liking. She’d only intended to stay for the funeral, but even she hadn’t expected what had followed.

The event of this particular evening however, was rather more significant than anything else they’d experienced for a little while. But really, they should’ve expected it. They had known for a while that it was coming and could happen at any time. So when John was roused from his sleep by the ghastly hand poking through his wall, he was a little more startled than he really should’ve been. But then again, a sight like that would startle any child, no matter how prepared they’re meant to be. So I suppose when John screamed, it was justified.

Of course the first people awake were Georgie and Annabel. They were running for the door the moment their eyes opened. Next to show up was Bert and Jack, having only been in the guest room which was closest to the nursery. They had been rather confused by all the commotion, but the moment they spotted the ghastly hand, they were just as eager to get the children as far away as physically possible. Moments later, Jane and Michael came barrelling towards them, and while Michael had stayed out of the room to make sure his children were alright, Jane pushed through all the confusion to reach Finn first and bring him out before the skeletal fingers had made their way across the room to grab him. Of course this all happened in only a few seconds, and therefore, the hand barely made it from the wall before Jane had already left. And it wasn’t particularly happy about that, swishing it’s hand back into the wall it came from, to turn around and leave, a dress swishing about from behind them and just about pushing through the wall for at least half a second.

It was Jack who had noticed this first and he dashed to the next room over, pushing the door open just in time to see the ghostly form of a woman walking out of the nursery side wall and into the guest room.

“He’s mine!” She hissed. He recognised her. He’d never seen her like this, her ghostly form wore an old tattered dress that was years out of fashion, and her long scraggly hair looked to have not been brushed in years. And of course, he’d never even heard her real voice before, but there was something about her (other than what she said that was definitely a dead give away) that told him that he knew exactly who this was. So when Esther tried to launch into an attack, Jack knew exactly what to expect. Still, that didn’t mean he was quick enough to avoid it.

Her misty form suddenly launched at him, leaving streaks in the air behind her, before clutching onto his face and rushing into his body through his mouth and eyes.

“JACK!” He was knocked to the ground for a moment, before rising up again, only this time, he wasn’t himself.

“Give him BACK!” He practically dived on Jane, wrenching the now screaming Finn from her arms as she desperately tried to fight back. But of course, the strength of a mother protecting her son, is a powerful one to overcome. Which is why Esther decided to leave Jack and instead took over Jane. She snatched the child away from him and before anyone had a chance to understand what was happening, she’d shoved Annabel out of the way, rather harshly pushing her into the wall, and was racing away down the stairs and out the door.

It only took a split second longer for everyone else to catch up with what just happened, enough for them to go racing after her. But by the time they made it outside, she was long gone.

“No!” Michael shouted into the night. He’d only just got her back and he could hardly believe he was losing her again.

“We need to find her!” Bert stammered, “Lord only knows what she’ll do to Finn!”

“But how are we going to find her?!”

“I’ll gather the leeries, they’ll be able to help.” Jack suggested, before racing away to find them, slightly slowed by the fact his bike had been taken to the office after the fire to be used by whatever replacement came along, leaving him with no option other than to run.

“And we need to put a stop to all this, once and for all.”

“Wait,” Michael started, “I have an idea.” Taking the children by the hand, he raced back inside, informing Ellen to look after them, before heading upstairs to collect something, and making his way back out to join Mary and Bert. The two of them were still in the midst of a rather frantic discussion of what to do.

“I’ll get the teapot back from my cousin.”

“There’s no time!” But when Michael rejoined them and raised the small bag of marbles he’d taken from Jane’s bedside, they all knew exactly what he had planned.

Meanwhile, Jack had already made it a good way across town, having found Yatsey, who had just been on his way back from the pub, and was getting a lift from him, standing on his bike pegs that had been fitted to the back wheel.

“THERE!” Yatesy spotted Esther sprinting down an alley, and when Jack saw it too, he practically leapt from the bike and raced across the street to catch her, while Yatesy raced off to get the others. 

She nearly hid herself in the veil of the night, but in the same way Jane had the strength of a mother, Jack also had the strength of a father, so he was much more alert than most would be. And Esther barely had a chance to tighten her grip before Jack had wrenched the child from her grasp and started running. She was not usually one to let her prey escape so easily, however. So without even a moment to think, she raced off right after him.

The night was very dark, very consuming. And with a slowly building sense of panic, Jack very quickly found that his mental map of London was having some difficulties to visualise. So when he turned down Partmount Lane and down the alley halfway across, he hadn’t even realised it would be a dead end. Of course, Finn was inconsolable. And there was no way of Jack being able to quiet him- aside from smothering the boy, which was of course not going to happen- before Esther heard and knew where they were.

She dashed after him, and Jack soon found himself in a tug of war, as he desperately tried to take Finn away from him. They were equally matched, and as soon as one of them got ahold of him, the other would snatch him right back. But neither of them seemed to be able to hold on for long enough to start running, before they were right back where they started, struggling for control.

Esther screeched and left Jane’s body, taking control of Jack, in the hopes she’d have better luck taking Finn as him. But once Jane had a clear head, her motherly instinct kicked in and she became just as much of a problem for Esther. The result, Esther desperately switched between bodies in the hopes of tiring her victims out, but despite their aching bodies, the adrenaline firing through their system didn’t let them have half a mind to care.

Suddenly, a wall of light came shooting towards them, surrounding Jack- who at that moment was free of Esther and had just gotten ahold of Finn- in a shining wall of metal and bodies, which, upon her eyes adjusting, Esther realised was the leeries. It was almost like some strange and surreal dream. For, they were only there for a moment, but when they raced away from her again, Jack had disappeared from where he had been standing, having been whisked away by his friends. Whisked away with HER child.

They didn’t go particularly far before Theo, the one who had given Jack a lift, stopped his bike down the side of a local greengrocers.

“Your bike’s there,” he said, quickly gesturing to the metal framework half hidden in the shadows, “we’re gonna scatter, try and confuse her with who’s who and who has the kid.” He looked towards Finn for a moment, in thought, before he pulled off his rather long scarf and handed it to Jack, who was rather confused by the gesture.

“What’s this for?”

“You can use it as a sling. I imagine it’d be better than putting him in the front basket.” Jack rather liked the idea, so the pair quickly worked to tie it around him, securely enough that there was no chance of Finn falling, before putting his jacket back on over it, to make it slightly harder for Esther to be able to spot. Finn seemed to be quite fond of the idea too, having finally quietened down and snuggled into the warmth of his father’s chest.

“Perfect,” Theo beamed, “now go!” So without another word needing to be said, Jack hopped onto his bicycle and peddled away as fast as he could, while Theo shot off in the opposite direction.

The leeries scattered all across London. A silent army zig zagging through the streets with no particular destination in mind, other than somewhere that another leerie would not be. And with London being such a big place, that was a fairly easy task. Not once did they come across each other again as they peddled along the harsh cobbles.

This was a rather large problem for Esther to contend with, as she couldn’t even spot another leerie very often in the first place, and when she did, it was almost always too late for her to chase them. That’s why she very quickly released her hold on Jane, in favour of using her own ghostly form to rise up into the cold night sky and get a bird’s eye view of the streets below. But at such a height, despite just about being able to spot the leeries below her, she couldn’t make out who was who. They all looked the same in their dreary hats and jackets, and not one of them seemed to be obviously holding a child as they went.

Back on the ground, Jane had a similar problem on her hands. But unlike Esther, she had no way to get a better view of the streets. She could honestly say she didn’t even know where she was, and had gotten her self so badly turned around, that she was too back-to-front to work out where she’d even come from. She wasn’t even sure why Esther had let her go, having never seen her take anyone else’s body as a replacement. So she had no idea about the leerie’s plan and simply assumed that wherever Esther had gone, she’d taken her son with her.

Maybe that’s why it took so long to find anyone, or maybe it was due to the people she knew, constantly moving. But it took nearly ten minutes of agonised apprehension and adrenaline, before she came across another soul: a leerie by the name of Freddie, who was kind enough to stop and give her a lift, as well as filling her in on the plan. This did manage to calm her down slightly, but it didn’t stop the thought from whirring in her mind that maybe Esther had left her alone after finding and, once more, taking control of Jack.

Nearly another five minutes later, they arrived at the park to find Michael hiding behind a bush, desperate to avoid being spotted by Esther, who was standing only a few metres away. He was fiddling with a small pouch, and Jane very quickly realised what he was thinking to do.

“Do you want me to lure her over?” She whispered, getting off the bike and approaching her brother, as Freddie raced away, continuing with his plan.

“Not yet.”

“Are you sure it’ll work?”

“Mary said it’ll work temporarily. And if we use that copper teapot after, it’ll do the job permanently.” He paused for a moment, assessing their situation, before deciding, “ok now.”

Jane didn’t need to be told twice, and as soon as she was signalled, she jumped out from behind the bush, in full view of Esther.

“Hey! Over here! You want your kid?” It really shouldn’t have worked as well as it did. Esther looked her over and certainly couldn’t see how she could hide an infant so discretely about her person. But by this point, she’d been searching through London for nearly twenty minutes, and was just about willing to believe she had managed to hide him as well as it seemed. And so, without considering it any longer, she launched at Jane. But before, she even made it halfway towards her, she froze. 

A bike skidded to a halt a little ways behind her.

She turned, just in time to see Jack. And she saw the sling. And she saw Finn. So when he did a 180 and sped back off the way he came, she went right after him instead.

“Damn it!” Michael cursed. But before he had a chance to feel fully frustrated, Jane had already grabbed him by the arm, and with a quick ‘come on’, dragged him along with her as they chased after them.

Jack had managed to get a good lead on her when he finally stopped. He’d been stood quite far behind Esther when she noticed him. So he already had a head start, on top of the increased speed his bike provided. He’d made it a great distance, but he knew Esther could be anywhere. She could be right behind him. But he didn’t dare look. And he didn’t dare stop, not until he physically couldn’t go on any further.

The street was quiet when he stopped. He was in the middle of the road and felt totally helpless. Finn was wailing, and he wouldn’t stop. He just wouldn’t stop. He wanted to make a move to hide. But he barely made it off his bike before he nearly collapsed. He tried to stabilise himself and ignore the burning of his legs, but found it pretty difficult when he could hardly breath. He couldn’t tell if it was the exhaustion or the fear, but whatever the case, it had left him panting like a dog.

He was losing the will to run. What were the chances that he’d be able to stop her? He questioned if he should just give up and let her take him, but then he would be dragged from his own head by the baby screaming in a makeshift sling, and he remembered why he couldn’t let it happen. He promised to keep him safe. He promised. And Jack was a man of his word. So he dragged himself to an alley and let himself collapse and be consumed by the shadows. He rocked his baby with the trembling of his arms and sung softly to him, even when the tears running down his face threatened to steal his voice. And despite the fact that he wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and admit defeat, he told Finn with all the sincerity he could muster, that everything would be alright in the end. Just wait and see.

But of course, it wasn’t alright. Nothing was alright. Nothing had been alright for a long time. And when the lamps out in the street started to flicker and go out one by one, he wasn’t even surprised.

Jack carefully rose and silently shuffled through the darkness to get to the end of the alley to peer out into the street. The night was cold and the moon’s light was still extinguished by the clouds. The wind blew in harsh gusts every few seconds which left him reeling. But the most significant thing he noticed was that it was silent. He couldn’t hear anybody. Not his family, or his friends, or even Esther. There was nobody out there in the street ahead. But that didn’t mean there was nobody behind.

“There you are.” Jack spun around as soon as the sinister hiss reached his ears, and was running just as quickly. But his still sore legs made it impossible to get very far, and he’d barely made it towards his bike before Esther whisked in front of him, grabbing his arm in an ice cold grip with her skeletal hand. His arm was frozen as her steely glare bore right through his soul. Jack tried to run, but found he couldn’t move at all. His arm seemed to drain its colour to a deathly white, and he honestly couldn’t tell if it was due to whatever effect she had on him, or just how tight her bruising grip was, as it certainly hurt enough to bring a tear to his eye. His body burnt and shivered at the same time, but to anyone else, he may as well have just been a statue, staring in horror at his captor. And when he tried to call for help, a heaving gust of wind came roaring by, stealing his breath before he even had the sense to close his mouth.

“I’ve been looking for you all evening.” Esther looked at him like he was her prey, but the way she kept glancing to Finn as she spoke, he couldn’t tell if what she had said was meant himself or Finn, when she said ‘you’.

“You’ve been causing me so much trouble now, and I’d love it if you would stop.” She practically spat her words at him, and if he could’ve moved, he’d have been inclined to wipe his face. But of course, he was instead only able to watch her. And although he’d expected her to strike any second, her wide toothed grin was quickly wiped from her face by another voice.

“Let him go!” Only metres away, Jane, Michael, Mary and Bert stood, having finally found each other as they chased Esther. It was clear that they were all tired, but that didn’t mean they weren’t energised by the rage brought on by the sight before them.

“Or what?” Esther’s grip tightened as she pulled Jack closer to her, “Are you going to threaten me?” She sneered, “Or are you going to tell me I’m doing a bad thing? Or,” she laughed, “are you going to watch me do exactly what I want without stopping me?” Nobody made a move as she continued to laugh, and Jack started to wish they’d just do something, anything.

“Last chance!” Bert barked, but Esther couldn’t care less,

“You can’t stop me. Look at you. You’re pathetic to think it’s even worth trying!” Her words aggravated the group, but when they tried to make a move, she simply yanked Jack in front of her, to use him and Finn as a shield.

“I don’t even have to kill them, do I? To ruin your little life, all I have to do is put myself right into it. Isn’t that right? I’ll just take your little family here, and make it mine.” She spun Jack around to face her and turned them slightly to make sure Jane had the perfect view. Grabbing his jaw, she tilted Jack’s head up towards her, as if admiring him. Her hand trailed downwards to his neck and firmly wrapped around it, cutting off the air supply for a moment.

“What do you think, husband?” The hand that wasn’t clutching his arm planted itself on his hip, before sliding to the small of his back and jerking him forward. And with her arms firmly around him, trapping him, caging him, she dove into his lips, kissing him roughly. Jack would’ve tried to fight back, but the overwhelming power still seemed to keep him still, leaving him unable to do anything as she used him. Her ghostly mist twisted around him, grabbing at him and exploring his body, while the hand on his hip tightened its hold in a bruising grip. She forced her tongue into his mouth as ran a hand through his hair, pulling hard before trailing back down his neck and spine. She pressed their bodies together as tight as she could as the mist’s touches became more intimate and groping. He was slowly being tipped back, while she raked her nails down his thigh, before grabbing his leg and hiking it up to wrap around her waist, as if she planned to dominate him even more. And as the mist started to tug his clothes, he only dreaded to think what that would entail. Yet he still couldn’t move. He wanted so badly to get away, but he physically couldn’t. It was as if he wasn’t really there in his own head to take control. The only thing that could tell him that he was even still alive, was the thundering of his heartbeat in his chest, beating itself painfully against his ribs, wishing to just be put out of its misery. And yet all this time she wouldn’t even look at him, her eyes were instead fixed on Jane, as if he wasn’t even worth enough to be considered something she owned, he was just something she needed to use before she’d discard him. And yet he was almost glad of it. At least it’d be over soon. She’d finally leave him alone.

But it was over much quicker than he expected,

“GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM!!”

Suddenly, a boiling copper teapot was hurled at her with all the rage of a thousand suns. The pot itself whizzed right through her head, but the boiling liquid that spewed out as it soared by, seemed to burn and sizzle against her nonexistent skin. She let out a hellish wail and drew away from Jack, finally releasing her grip on him, allowing him to stumble backwards on shaking legs, his face burning red in embarrassment. When Esther found it in herself to focus on something other than her broiling head, she shot a look to where the pot had been thrown from, to see Jane glaring back at her.

“Nobody touches him like that!” It took a lot to control herself enough to leave out the ‘except me’, but she managed. Though it didn’t seem to deter Esther very much, as she simply reached out to snatch him up again. But unfortunately for her, it was too late. Jack had had just enough time to collect his wits and put as much distance between her and himself as possible as soon as she’d let him go.

“It’s over!” Bert shouted. Esther looked about the group. By now, Jack had situated himself behind Mary, his arms protectively around baby Finn, who seemed to be getting rather upset by all the shouting. All four of them looked like they were ready to run in any direction, though she couldn’t say which one they’d pick. No matter how she looked at them, she couldn’t quite figure out what they planned to do. So when she launched at them, she wasn’t quite sure what to do either.

She knew she had to ruin Jane’s life. She had to get rid of the kid. So when she dived at Jack to pluck him from his arms, she was furious when Mary got there first, grabbing Finn and taking him further away from her. As soon as Esther turned to Mary, it seemed like everyone else had moved too. They were weaving around each other in the street as Mary did the same, passing Finn to Bert as she went.

“NO! STOP IT!” But nobody listened to her. They continued to pass the baby between each other before she even had a chance to get close. Jack had him, then Michael, Jane and back to Jack, before passing him to Mary who’d give him to Bert and to Michael again. She just couldn’t catch them and yet they were only a few feet in front of her. She was wildly flailing her arms in front of her in the hopes they’d latch on to something. Anything. But each time, they missed by only a fraction of a millimetre.

But after much running, she grew tired and so did they. Jane finally stopped a little way in front of her. But considering they’d been so close to each other previously to pass the child, she really should’ve suspected something was wrong when nobody was standing anywhere near them. They were quite clearly keeping themselves out of the way. But she didn’t realise why until it was far too late.

She charged at Jane and couldn’t stop herself in time. And Jane smiled at her. A mocking grin as the marble flew overhead, shattering on the ground in front of her. And as the portal opened up in front of her, Jane hissed,

“Get out of my life!” There was no time to change course. She was barrelling into the hole before she even had a chance to comprehend what was happening, consumed by the darkness of the spirit world.

“No. No! NO!” She only had the chance when she turned around to see their five faces, sneering at her. Each one of them more than happy to see what they’d done to her. She hurled herself back towards them, but it was too late. The portal sealed before she even came close. And she was trapped.

“NOO!!”

.

.

.

.

.

Silence.

Jane was starting to realise it was always a good sign. Mary poured out the remains of the teapot over the broken remains of the marble. Apparently that was how they were going to keep Esther trapped permanently. But the words honestly didn’t register. She only focused on how quiet it was. It wasn’t really that quiet. Mary talking and the fact they were all huffing and puffing from the exertion meant it was anything but. Still, without Esther’s shouting, it was much quieter. It seemed like her presence alone had made the world a much louder place, even without her needing to say a word. And now she was gone. Or at least, they couldn’t see her. And after everything they’d dealt with, the latter actually seemed more likely. Though Mary assured it was actually the former.

Still, she found herself only staring at where she had just been. Had they really done it? Was it over? Was she actually gone? For good? She didn’t even think to celebrate for a long few moments. She told herself she had her reasons. She told herself she’d be inclined to hug someone and that Jack wouldn’t be up for that, Mary was far too proper, it would be strange to hug Bert first, and as for Michael-

Well, that’s as far as she got before Michael snapped her back to reality by hugging her himself. And in that moment, time seemed to start again, though she couldn’t say she even realised it stopped. The world became louder and she was vaguely aware of Bert and Jack cheering. Mary was even laughing along with their celebrations.

They’d actually done it. Nobody died. Nobody was lost. They’d all been hurt, but it was ok. They were still ok. And when Michael pointed at sweet Finley, cradled in her arms, and had made a remark that even he seemed happy, gurgling and giggling away to himself as best as a baby at that age could, she finally allowed the joy to flood her.

And it did.

It floored her.

She could’ve sobbed as she practically threw herself at her brother, laughing and whooping the whole time. She didn’t know how, but they did it! They had actually done it! Really! Truly! They were safe. Finn was safe. She was safe. They were all safe. Esther couldn’t do anything to them even if she tried. The flutter of her heart stole her breath, and she nearly squealed when Bert flung his arms around her, picking her up and spinning her,

“I knew we could do it!” He beamed delightfully, putting her down to give the same celebratory treatment to Mary. And when he did step away, that’s when she spotted Jack. He seemed relieved more than anything. He was just as jovial as the others, though she couldn’t ignore the way he rubbed his arm where he’d been held. In a way, he looked just like Jane. The two of them had been through hell and back with Esther, getting to see her at her worst, and seeing her the most often. They both couldn’t believe it was really over. They were both ready for her to pop back through the portal and for all hell to break loose again. But when the moments stretched on and she never did, their relief only grew.

“You alright there?” Jane hadn’t even realised she’d been staring, so Jack’s question had her flinching.

“Yeah, sorry,” she scratched her neck, “I was just thinking.” She found herself quietly laughing to herself, “god, can you imagine how the kids will react when tell them about this?”

“Well, when we do, let’s leave out the bit about Esther snogging me.” He forced a laugh, despite how awkward it was to think of, and Jane too found herself laughing slightly, if only to lighten the mood.

“Probably for the best, it’s hardly child friendly.” Jack smiled at that, and it wasn’t so forced this time.

“And what do we do now?” He asked, the realisation hitting him, “We’re going to have to go back to our mundane jobs! And having real, normal responsibilities!” He chuckled in mock-horror.

“Oh god yeah! I haven’t been to work in months!”

“Me neither!” They fell about laughing again. God, they were so happy to go back to being normal and boring again. It’d been far too long. Michael dramatically sighed when he heard the word, ‘work’.

“Do we really have to be talking about that now. I’d much rather relax for a while and actually savour this.”

“Quite,” Mary agreed, “I think we’d all benefit from a nice cup of tea before sunrise.” The warm idea was just that, warm. And in the cold night air, nothing could possibly sound better. A glorious little concoction with a splash of milk and a dash of sugar. That’d do the trick for sure. They could think about everything else later. The police could wait, work could wait, life could wait. The only ones who needed to know anything now, were the kids, and only because they’d be badgering them if they didn’t tell. Who cares that they hadn’t seen certain people, or been to certain places or done certain things in months?! They had something much more important to do. Something they could all agree on:

A nice cup of tea, with a good story to tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter next week. The end is near! I hope you’ve been enjoying it so far.


	25. Her Pretty Face

The pitter patter of the rain can calm some people. While others prefer bird song. Maybe its the sound of the sea that puts you at ease, or just water in general. For Jack, the constant clacking of his bike’s wheels against the cobbled street always put him at ease. It reminded him of his routine. He liked having a routine. They were the most relaxing thing of all. Though he’d learnt to love another thing too: silence. And that thanks can go to she-who-shall-not-be-named.

He’d been determined to get back on his bike after she was gone, once he was sure he could work without interruption again. And Yatesy was rather glad of it, having grown tired of running Jack’s route as well as his own everyday. He’d found it surprisingly easy to get back into it, though the regulars that he spotted along his travels seemed rather surprised, having not seen him in so many months. It was great to see them all again. And it seemed Jane wasn’t the only one to have a child in that time, as Mrs Cartwright pushed a pram down the road with her own new children, twins.

And speaking of Jane and Finn, things had been going surprisingly smoothly with them. Although they were staying in their own homes now, he still made an effort to see them everyday. Though he had to admit, it had been easier when they’d all been staying in the same house. But then again, there wasn’t much he could do about that. 

They’d all cleared out of number 17, not long after the night in the streets. Bert decided in the end that he would stay in London. He’d claimed he’d had his share of travelling and wanted to be there to see his grandson. He’d also made sure to visit regularly, and had taken the opportunity to get back in touch with the sweeps he used to work with. The result, every Wednesday, 30 old sweeps all over 50 years of age, gathered on the rooftops to share stories, songs and dance together. Not to mention that Jane and Michael got the chance to introduce John, Annabel and Georgie to the man who had joined them on so many childhood adventures. To which Bert had responded saying he’d be honoured to do it all over again.

And although Mary had to leave, she did promise she’d visit as regularly as she could manage around her work, after all, she was Finn’s godmother. She was hardly going to take it for granted. Of course this fact had made Michael’s children ecstatic, since it meant they could say Mary was really part of the family. And they had been so happy about it that they nearly tackled their father in a hug when he told them. She’d pretended to be very casual about the whole situation, as she usually did, but Jack wasn’t blind. He’d have been a fool to miss the happy grin that had plastered her face for that split-second.

Even Michael had noticed. And speaking of, he’d been busy working hard after everything. It seemed that Jane’s plight had led him to want to work hard for his own family. And it was lucky that he suddenly put in all this extra effort too, as Michael’s name had been on a list for people to potentially be promoted. The bank had just been waiting for one of them to do something to make them stand out. Michael had his own private office by the end of the week. Which was also good for Jack. With Michael’s new job and a little assistance from Mary, they managed to get past all the legal nonsense and set Jack up with his own flat again. It was a lovely place, not far from where he used to live. Though it was in a safer neighbourhood and was slightly roomier than his old place. And he couldn’t be more grateful for it.

Jack was eventually pulled from his smiling thoughts when he came to Cherry Tree Lane. It was nice to be there for a perfectly mundane reason such as lighting the lamps, rather than being because they’d just dug him up. He looked up to the window, just in time to see the children. They appeared to be in their pyjamas and getting ready for bed, but they waved to him with just as much enthusiasm as they would on any other day. Those kids had been a fun lot to deal with when they got back that night. He’d never known anybody to ask so many questions. They told the story in full the first time, but with so many questions, they basically ended up retelling the story in twice the detail. Though they still left out the snog. And the kids seemed to notice that something was missing from the story, but in the end, they didn’t ask. Though that was probably due to the fact the sun had risen by then and they were all exhausted.

They smiled down to him from the window like it was just a normal day. Yes, it was just like any other day. But of course, he should’ve expected that it was too good to be true. Something strange just had to happen. Though this was not particularly detrimental.

In fact, it was just a piece of paper tied to the post. He ignored it at first, choosing to deal with the light first so he’d actually be able to see what it was. And with the light, he saw it was a small envelope addressed to him. He was a little suspicious at first, but telling himself it was just some paper and couldn’t really hurt him beyond giving him a paper cut, he took it down and opened it up.

“Meet me at the abandoned fountain behind the greenhouse.  
-Jane”

It was short and simple, but that didn’t stop him from hopping on his bike and heading right on over. The cold night air was starting to seep through his bones, but the nerves were probably more to blame for him feeling a little shaky. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a bit scared. The last time he was there, he got stood up in front of all his friends. But things had been different then. It wouldn’t happen now, he hoped.

Finally, he made it through the night and to the abandoned area of the park that he loved so much. And he found he only loved it more when he arrived, as it was full of his new favourite thing, silence. Well, not for long.

Beneath a single lit lamp in the centre of the yard, a small table and two chairs stood, carefully decorated with a tidy cloth and a few flowers in the middle. And just to the side of the setup, stood a woman he knew very well. The same woman he had hoped to see there all that time ago. Jane stepped towards him with a warm smile on her face, though he could certainly tell she seemed a little apprehensive.

“Hi Jack.”

“Evenin’”

“How are you?” She smiled.

“Pretty good. But I was quite surprised by your note. So what’s all this?” Her hand found its way to the back of her neck as her smile faded slightly, to a look that was slightly more nervous.

“Well, I thought, we haven’t really had much of a chance to talk, you know, alone. And you arranged that date a while ago that never happened, so I thought we could try again.”

“Really?” He was quite taken aback. He hadn’t even considered the idea that maybe Jane would want to date him after everything had happened. He found himself nervously rubbing over the bruise that still marked his arm, something he’d told himself he’d have to break the habit of before it became a nervous tic.

“Well, I mean, it doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want. I mean, I’ve not got as much of a grand set up as you had, so we can just talk if you’d like.” He couldn’t help but smile at her flustered response, wanting so badly to make sure he was comfortable around her, and it was definitely a nice feeling.

“That’d be nice.” They smiled again, a lot more easy and relaxed as Jane led him to the table. And out of the corner of his eye, Jack could’ve sworn he saw Angus up in the greenhouse, watching them. And yet again, it was someone else looking out for him.

He certainly had noticed how the leeries were much more protective of him now. It seemed that they didn’t particularly like the idea of Jack getting put through all the same rigmarole he’d already had to deal with once before. But surprisingly, they hadn’t really interfered with his life very much. He certainly would’ve thought they’d have put a stop to this meeting if they apparently seemed to know about it. But no. They were all adults, and they knew that that kind of protection would only make life more difficult for all parties involved. They had jobs to do and lives to live, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there when he needed them. They didn’t need to fight a war, simply checking in every now and then was enough. And that certainly meant that he’d never feel alone again. It was another warm thought to add to his growing little collection.

Jack smiled as he sat down with her. It had been a long time since they’d had much time alone together. They were only ever alone for a short time and so only had to manage a brief and, admittedly, awkward conversation, or they’d been busy at the time with something else and didn’t really think to talk about anything at the time. And that was usually the case when he came over to see Finn. But he would never complain about that.

Finn had become his entire world, and he loved him like nothing else in the universe. The first time he visited him at Jane’s flat, he’d brought him a handmade stuffed fish, that he felt was appropriate for his name. It had taken him hours to stitch it together, and that time hadn’t been without injury, but there was nothing better than seeing how he cuddled it, as best a baby that young could. It had been a totally surreal experience and when he got to give him a bath, it was even better. When Finn smiled at him for the first time, he practically fell apart. ‘Pride’ couldn’t even begin to describe the feeling.

And through all this, they were finally beginning to get back into the swing of things. They worked as usual, and anyone would think nothing had ever been wrong in the first place. He hoped things would continue like that, and maybe then, they’d be able to put this foul business behind them for good.

They’d all had a rough time, but maybe now, things could get better. They were all moving on, they were all healing. And underneath the lamps glow, he’d be lying if he didn’t say Jane looked beautiful. Her pretty curls were delicately tucked behind her ears and her hazel eyes shimmered in the light. She truly was a sight to behold. One that he’d almost forgotten to admire, after so long of telling himself not to. But now, he allowed himself to look. He allowed himself to see everything about her that made him fall in love with her in the first place.

Yes, they were still healing. But time passes. And bruises fade. They had all the time they needed. And maybe one day things would be totally normal again. Or maybe, they’d be beautifully different. Maybe they’d be closer than they’d ever been before. Or maybe they’d be united as a family like he’d always hoped. He couldn’t deny that he’d thought about it in the past, and the flicker that something so wondrous could once more become a possibility for him, made his heart swell.

But those dreams and fantasies could be attended to later. He had more important things to dwell on. Like the fond way Jane looked at him and smiled, bringing out her cute dimples. He had so many things he wanted to say, stories to tell, jokes to make. It had been so long since they had the confidence to speak to each other like this, and he had no clue where to even start. But for just a moment, he found himself happiest just enjoying the quiet, while he looked at the woman he admired so much.

“I’ll tell you what,” she sighed, gazing at him lovingly, “I’ve missed being able to talk to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s really weird to say we’ve reached the end of this one. And I hope it was a wholesome end that was enough to lift your spirits while all this horrid stuff’s going on. I’m going to keep uploading as usual and maybe throw in a few extra uploads as I have some one shots that have been in a folder for a while. Like last time, I’m posting a shorter story in between this and the next big thing, so I hope you’ll enjoy it. Until then, I wish you all the best. See you next week!


End file.
